To anyone who's seen the Dreamworks movie The Bad Guys, we're making a full feature-length parody musical! This show will include original numbers, new characters, new lore and more! We need script writers, song writers, actors/singers, storyboard animators, and eventually might need editors. Anyone from the original movie who isn't listed has already been cast.
For this show, we need a diverse soundtrack ranging from folk to rap-style hip-hop. the types of numbers in the soundtrack will depend on the characters performing it. For example, Wolf's numbers tend to be jazzy, Snake's numbers would be country, and Diane's would have more rock elements.
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The most important thing for this show is that it IS INDEED a parody. What makes our show a parody of the original "The Bad Guys" is that it exaggerates some themes of the original to an absurd degree and subverts the rest. And it even parodies some tropes in caper, heist etc. movies like the original, but the thing is that we also parody tropes/cliches/etcetera that the original didn't really cover. It also uses the same story to deliver a kind of different message, but not a completely different one. It does deliver different messages along with it though.
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Moe Wolf (known to the world only as Mr. Wolf) is the leader of the Bad Guys crew, and boy is he good at it. With his sneaky hands, his ingenious planning skills, and his ability to acquire the layout of just about any and every location, Mr. Wolf is a true master of crime. With his silver tongue, Wolf has the whole world wrapped around his finger while others only act like it.
(laid back, kinda shootin' the breeze) Hey, you! Yeah, you all! I know what you’re thinking, first the book than the movie and now this? Well, news flash. It’s a crime to not have watched slash read all three. And let me make it clear. Those wolves from the two that came before me? Completely different Mister Wolfs. Now that that’s out of the way let’s get started.
(starstruck, giddy) Listen, Snake. You know how you said you’d be cool with me getting a girlfriend despite us being boyfriends? Well, this is it! I mean, just look at Diane! I got a silver tongue, but she’s got a platinum tongue! She can kick above her head like it’s nothing! I could go on and on and on about her, but you’d probably get bored. Point is, you can’t blame me for wanting a piece of that fox. And I wouldn’t be able to blame you!
(incertain, hesitant) I mean… he’s a good guy, a great guy even. And I know he loves me. He just probably thinks that manipulating me is the only way to keep me with him. If he knew that that didn’t matter and I would just love him anyway, we wouldn’t have a problem! But I guess the past was just so cruel to him that he thinks the real Harvey Snake is just too much of a monster for anyone to love.
Javier "Harvey" Snake (Known to everyone except Mr. Wolf as Mr. Snake) is the Bad Guys’ second in command. Despite having no hands, Snake is a master safecracker, having mastered the art by age fifteen. He may seem jaded on the outside, but on the inside, Mr. Snake is just about the biggest softie you’ll ever meet. He loves his adopted family more than anything he knows but almost always shows that love passive-aggressively.
(confident, arrogant) Of course, I can’t be surprised by how far I’ve gotten. I mean, I did kinda bring us all together. I mean, after the LCM fell, you guys and I all got mutated. There wasn’t anyone to take you in, so I did. When I found you, though, all I saw was my shot at revenge on society for not accepting me. But then I realized how much you guys meant to me. And more importantly how much I meant to you all. And when I found Wolf, he’d been speeding down the freeway with half of LA’s police force after him and I knew I had to have him in my belfry
(sincere) Moe. Wolf cub. Listen. I don’t wanna see your heart broken like mine was. People like you and me, the world doesn’t accept us. And trust me, I wish it was different as much as you. Probably even more. But sometimes you just gotta accept reality. This is one of those times. Remember, Moe. I’m saying this because you’re one of the few things in my life that I really truly love. Never forget that.
(Angry, distraught) You’d really give up everything we have for some…woman! We spend nearly our entire lives together, and this is how you repay me? IT’S HOW ALL OF YOU REPAY ME?! Well, I guess it’s my fault for believing I had a family that would never leave me. You know what, give her the dolphin for all I care! But don’t come crying to me when everyone sees you for what you really are; scary, good-for-nothing, MONSTERS!
Diane Foxington, formerly the Crimson Paw, is probably the only person in all of LA more cunning than Wolf. Before, Diane was the greatest thief in the country. But now, she uses her skills to help people as the governor of California. Unlike most people, Diane believes Wolf can become better and constantly supports him in the public eye. Although, Diane never hesitates to put Wolf in his place whenever he begins to overstep. And unlike most, she does so effortlessly.
(Mocking, condescending) Come on, people. Let's get real for a second. The Bad Guys have admittedly wreaked havoc on our fair Los Angeles for the past six years. But before you know it, they’re gonna be yesterday’s news. No matter how much priceless art or how many mile-high piles of cash they amass.
(Annoyed, exasperated) Wolf, you’re one of the best thieves in recent history and you can’t pull off a single heist just because you’re not benefiting from it? It’s as if you want to get sent back to prison! And my fuse is about this short right now, so you’re this close to getting your wish!
(Sentimental, romantic) You probably don’t believe me, but I still remember when we met back in high school. It’s amazing how little we’ve changed since then. You know, I don’t think we ever officially broke up. And with how things are going right now, I don’t think we’ll have to. Because whatever was there between us,...it still is, Moe Wolf.
Tiffany Fluffit, descendant of Muffet Fluffit, is an ace reporter for Channel Six Action News, and the most famous one at that. This perky reporter gained her fame by reporting on only the most exciting suspenseful stories in all of California (but mostly stays in LA), making Action News the most deserving of it's name. Tiffany is unforgivingly adventurous, going wherever the story leads no matter now dangerous. While she may seem nothing but happy-go-lucky on the outside, Tiffany is tremendously stressed by the pressures of not just a reporter, but a famous one at that.
(Energetic) What up? It’s Tiffany Fluffit, channel six action news! The Bad Guys walk free! Every single fine brought onto this contemptible crew has been fully paid off! The question on all our minds is this; what will the Bad Guys do next? On the scene, again, is Governor Foxington to comment on the state’s recent goings on.
(stressed) You don't understand, Mister Wolf! we have to do this! Everybody else on action news has something, everyone! But I'm the one the whole world has their eyes on, because you and your gang are the ones they're the most interested in! There are so many people out there who depend on me! People who watch Action news just FOR me because my stories on you are the only thing that brings them life! God knows, if I miss out on anything you do, I will fail everyone involved, especially now! That's why I followed you here, Mister Wolf! Because I have to follow your adventures if by tomorrow I don't want the sun to rise on my! Dead! Corpse!
(Somber) Tonight is a night we all hang our heads in sadness and disappointment. The Bad Guys, once thought to have finally made a change and joined society, have shown their true colors once and for all by stealing the Love-Crater Meteorite at Professor Rupert Marmalade's Gala For Goodness. This reporter supposes that it just goes to show; that some animals, like our governor, will step up and break their mold. While others embrace it fully.
Detective Misty Luggins, ironically nicknamed "Chief", is an absolute master detective for the LAPD, not to mention an absolute mountain of a person. Physically speaking that is. her genius intellect, years of experience, and not to mention superhuman muscular frame and agility make Misty a revered detective even the craftiest of criminals were wary of. But there's one criminal gang that Chief has been trying to put behind bars to years but never succeeded. And that gang, of course, is the Bad Guys.
(Angry, determined) The Bad Guys have terrorized this city long enough! They've made our fair citizens live in constant fear of being robbed for over six years, and Mr. Wolf has been for over a decade! By everything I hold dear, this has gone on for long enough! I swear on my life, whether it be today, tomorrow, or whenever, I will bring the Bad Guys to justice even if I have to do it with my bare hands!
(reluctant) Listen, I don't like this anymore than you do. I made a vow to bring you to justice, and I can't exactly do that when you're, to be frank, free people. But if working with you means taking this guys down, it's my duty as an LAPD detective to do so.
(serious) Miss Fluffit, I've been chasing the Bad Guys since before their gang was even formed. And not to mention my personal history with Mister Wolf in my younger years. I know them like the back of my hand. And if you ask me, there's only one reason they would set themselves free. And that reason is because they're planning something big.
First things always first, we need people to make storyboards for the animated bits for this production. By animated bits, I mean that some segments will be recorded while other parts, mainly the numbers, will be animated. And that, of course, is where these applications come in!
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Despite his movie and book counterparts, Professor Marmalade in this musical is everything he makes himself out to be. A paragon of enlightenment and philosophy, Professor Marmalade's near infinite tolerance and understanding for anyone and anything and ability to see the good in even the worst of people makes him the perfect moral compass for the Bad Guys as as opposed to Diane being exclusively Wolf's moral compass.
(bold, inspiring) Ladies and gentlemen, I know word has been buzzing about the bad Guys as of late. But I and your governor have full, undying faith that if these animals do arrive here tonight, then they will not be here with any malicious intent whatsoever. And we will continue to have faith until the very moment we are undoubtedly sure that they have made an attempt to steal anything within this museum. And if you can find it in yourselves to, I urge you all to do the same.
(gentle, understanding) Mister Snake. As unbelievable as it may seem, I do understand your fear. It's fine to question things about yourself, that's how we all grow as people. But simply denying that you have any problems as a person or running from them will not make the problem disappear. So, as scary as it may seem, you have to confront them head-on. You'll know what to do from there.
(nervous) Okay, now I know that sounds rather suspicious. But-but Mr. Aesop came to me! He told me that having you in the GSV was an amazing idea and I agreed, so I paid for your bail! Then Aesop told me how good the meteorite would look on display and I simply agreed with him! How was I supposed to know just from that that he was planning on framing you for stealing it, especially after all you'd been through?
