Hard Evidence - Pilot

Hard Evidence - Pilot

Project Overview

We’re excited to announce auditions for Hard Evidence — an animated sitcom that follows the wild misadventures of an anthropomorphic penis and testicles buddy-cop duo. Yes, you read that right.

Set in Organtown, a city full of seedy crime and even seedier criminals, this series blends sharp wit, absurd situations, and over-the-top action in a world where body parts run the show—literally.

We’re on the hunt for talented voice actors to bring these hilarious, innuendo-packed characters to life. If you love adult animation and comedy, and want to be involved in something we think will be unique and fun, then this is the gig for you!

A few things to note:

  • These auditions are for the pilot episode. If the series gets picked up, or we can get it funded, some roles will be recurring, and we’d love to keep working with you.

  • Pay is provided for recording sessions. While table reads are a key part of the process, compensation for them isn’t guaranteed at this stage.

  • Looking to start officially around June-August 2025 for the recording sessions.

Stay tuned for role descriptions and new characters as they become available. We can't wait to hear your auditions!

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Latest Updates

  • Final opening closing tomorrow morning

    Hi all this is a quick message just to let you know the position for Joy Juggs will be closing tomorrow Sunday April 27th at 8am Eastern.

    Once again thank you so much for all the submissions and talent we've seen. It's been incredible. You, are all incredible.

    Should you wish to follow up on the project, please do give the project a like on socials @HardEvidenceShow. For those following I will make an update about a Discord in the coming weeks, whist I get this (finally) set up. For now, I'll catch you very soon! - Damian

  • Role Closures and Some Other Stuff

    Hi all, hope you're doing well! - as before, this is just a quick heads up that both Cop #1 and Bad Guy #1 will be closing tomorrow 8am EST. Thank you once again for all of the auditions!


    Also, I have had some of you express interest in a Discord server for the show. I'd love to make this happen, but I am unsure what you all would like to see/gain from it at the moment. So if you do have ideas on how this would look I'd love to hear it, so please DM me, I will work something out! In the meantime, although we're not posting just yet, we are on Instagram and TikTok with the following tag @HardEvidenceShow - Thanks!

  • Role for Shady will be closing Saturday!

    Hello again everybody! This is just a heads up (with more notice this time) that auditions for Shady Buttocks will be closing this Saturday April 12th at 8am Eastern Time. We will be reviewing all the auditions submitted at up to that date for consideration! - We're super excited to see what you've all come up with! Once again, thank you so much for all the hard work!

    Best regards, Damian

  • Role for Chief Langers will be closing tomorrow!

    Greetings everybody, I hope you're all well. Once again a huge thank you to all of you who've been auditioning. We're officially past our listing deadline but will continue to accept auditions up until roles start to close. This week, we've decided to make a start on going through your Chief Langers auditions. As such we will be closing this role tomorrow (Apr 5th) at around 8am Eastern Time. Thank you so, so very much, I and we, have enjoyed listening to your renditions! - Also a side note, please do follow us on socials (insta and tiktok) as we will be posting news and info about the project as it advances. The handle is @HardEvidenceShow on both. In the meantime, until next time, thank you and speak to you all soon!

    Best regards, Damian

  • And thus you shall recieve! - New role!

    Hello everybody,

    First and foremost, a huge thank you to all who have submitted auditions so far! The sheer talent, creativity, and unique interpretations of the characters have been an absolute joy to experience. It’s been incredible going through them all!

    Speaking of joy…

    There has been an ask for a female role and I am happy to announce, for this pilot, there is one female character. Attorney Joy Juggs! - She's not to be played with, literally. She will be the legal representative for Shady Buttocks. I really look forward to hearing the auditions for this re-occurring part.

    Happy recording!

    ~ Damian

Project Roles: Attorney Joy Juggs Cop #1 Bad Guy #1 Detective Dick Long Officer Joe Scroteman Mayor Harding Chief Langers Shady Buttocks
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Attorney Joy Juggs
closed
Paid: Hourly 20 USD
Role assigned to: MJ Guenther

Full Name: Attorney Joy Juggs

Species: Anthropomorphic Breasts

Age: Mid 30s

Occupation: Defense Attorney

Personality: Sharp-tongued, fiercely intelligent, and endlessly exasperated

Joy Juggs is one of the most formidable defense attorneys in Organtown, known for her razor-sharp legal mind and her ability to dismantle a case with surgical precision. She built her career defending the sleaziest criminals in town, including Shady Buttocks. Despite her disdain for most of the police force, no one gets under her skin quite like Detective Dick.

Voice description:
  • Laywer
  • Stern
  • no nonsense
  • female adult
  • Any Accent

  • Put that glove down and my client better still have his dignity intact.

  • Save the flirtation, Dick. I don’t do charity work. I think before my client speaks, he gets a deal!

  • You've got all you need Dick, my client won't be answering any more questions. If there's nothing else then I'd like him to be released immediately.

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 29 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Cop #1
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 20 USD
Role assigned to: ItalianBronxGuy

Full Name: Unknown

Species: Anthropomorphic Mouth

Age: 30s - 40s

Occupation: Cop

Personality: Gruff, by-the-book, but secretly enjoys the absurdity of his job. He speaks in a deep, authoritative voice.


A minor cop character who arrests a Finger with tattoos, delivering dry, sarcastic one-liners. Though minor, he has potential for reoccurring appearances as a reliable, no-nonsense officer in Organtown's law enforcement.

Voice description:
  • male adult

  • Yeah, yeah, save it for the jury, you sticky-fingered prick!

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 98 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Bad Guy #1
closed
Paid: Hourly 20 USD
Role assigned to: ᴀɴᴅᴇʀꜱᴏɴ

Full Name: Unknown

Species: Anthropomorphic Finger

Age: 20s - 30s

Occupation: Unemployed / Gang affiliation

Personality: Gangster type, unhinged, angry and aggressive.

A minor character. A criminal in from the underbelly of Organtowns many gang affiliated members. Loud, aggressive and always seen at the precinct. He is a repeat offender and will tend to always have good insults and jabs to throw at law enforcement.

  • I swear I didn't do it! I wasn't even in the glove! If it don't fit, you gotta acquit man!

  • (In response to Cop #1) 'EY WHO YOU CALLIN' A PRICK?

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 101 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Detective Dick Long
closed
Deferred: Agreed Amount
Role assigned to: John Cav

  • I was in too deep Chief, I had a tip!

  • Chief, please! A rookie? You’re sticking me with a frickin' rookie? I've been 10 years on the force for fucks sake.

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 2 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Officer Joe Scroteman
closed
Deferred: Agreed Amount
Role assigned to: Damian Ryan

  • Oh my God, Oh my God. A fleeing suspect! Rule 24: Probable Cause - Get... GET BACK HERE YOU!

  • Oh so you like to play it rough do ya? Play a little hard to get? You like that back and forth, huh? - Well buddy I can go alllll night long.

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 2 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Mayor Harding
closed
Deferred: Agreed Amount
Role assigned to: Kayfabe

  • *Say something you think would fit*

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 0 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Chief Langers
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 100 USD
Role assigned to: Brian Jeffords

Full Name: Chief Willie Langers

Species: Anthropomorphic Penis

Age: Late 50s

Occupation: Chief of Precinct 69

Personality: Gruff, no-nonsense, permanently exasperated


Chief Langers has been in law enforcement for decades, working his way up from a beat cop to head of Precinct 69. Back in the day, he was known as one of the toughest officers on the force. Mean and relentless The streets of Organtown hardened him, but his subordinates break him. Now, buried under mountains of paperwork, mostly caused by Detective Dick, he spends most of his time screaming at his staff, chain-smoking, and praying for retirement or getting shot in the line of duty.

Voice description:
  • american (northeast)
  • american (new york)
  • American (Boston)
  • male adult
  • american
  • Bill Burr
  • shouty

  • "You had one job Dick. ONE FUCKIN' JOB! And you went in half-cocked!"

  • "Oh, you had a tip did ya? What did it say Dick? ‘Dive in headfirst, no questions asked’?"

  • (In response to Dick upset he is being put with a Rookie.) "You’re damn right I am! And you have made some major cock ups of late. Anyway, this kid’s top of his class. What he lacks in size and looks, he makes up for in brains. Now find out where that shipment is and GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 117 Submissions Apply / Audition
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Shady Buttocks
closed
Paid: Flat Rate 50 USD
Role assigned to: Darryl Joseph

Full Name: Unknown (goes by "Shady" on the streets)

Species: Anthropomorphic Buttocks

Age: Mid-40s

Occupation: Drifter, low-level hustler, occasional smuggler

Affiliation: None—keeps to himself

Personality: Paranoid, slippery, and always looking for an exit


Shady Buttocks is a lone wolf in Organtown’s criminal underworld—if you can even call him a criminal. He doesn’t belong to any gang, crew, or syndicate and prefers to stay under the radar. He drifts from job to job, making just enough to scrape by but never enough to gain real power. Because of his cautious nature, he’s managed to avoid getting tangled with the law, meaning he’s not in any police databases. To cops, he’s just another nameless lowlife—until now.

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • american
  • male adult
  • animation/character

  • (stammering) "I... I... I... wu-was just looking for my stuff. I didn't do nothin'... I swear."

Favorite role Save Role for Later Total Submissions Toggle 113 Submissions Apply / Audition
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