Why do you bother me, nephew? Can't you see I'm busy?

He said what? Out with it, child!

Well, here you are again. Have you once again failed to complete your quest?

You better not be planning any mischief here. What do you want?

I shouldn’t have let him go. He’s two weeks later getting back than he said he’d be and I’m worried.

Thank you for promising to look for my boy. I sure hope you can find him. I’m so worried about him. Hurry, please.

Tribals, humph! (mutter, mutter) ...shiftless, worthless, lazy…

Questions, huh? Well get on with it, then. Talking to you doesn’t get my work any closer to being finished.

The only way I know to create a Garden of Eden is through plain old hard work.

My name's Sally Dunton, but mostly they call me Big Nose Sally. I'm the owner of this here bathhouse. We have a whole hassleful of special, attended baths for you to pick from.

Well, that's a right nice try for an idjit. But I ain't having none of your kind in here. Now, git out. Shoo, shoo.

You could use a bit of real scrubbing; don't you tribals know about soap? Oh well, that'll cost you $70.

Hello there, I haven’t seen you in Klamath before. I’m Aldo, the town greeter. (hic) It’s my job to greet anyone new in town and to answer any questions they might have about our bucolic little burg. Welcome to Klamath. (hic) Who might you be?

Thanks for the money, friend. (urp) I’m going to use it to get some (hic) medicine for my dry throat. Consider yourself officially (hic) greeted to the town of Klamath. Do you have any questions about our fair (urp) metropolis?

Here in Klamath some people farm, some raise brahmin, but trapping geckos is what most of the people do.

Hello there, stranger. Welcome to the Golden Gecko Tavern, Hotel, and Trading Post. I’m Sajag; I run the place. What can I get for you?

You’re our kind of people. You came to the right tavern to spend your money. What can I do for you, pal?

Well, Bob’s getting in the way of certain business partners. I don’t mind the competition. (grins) But they sure do. I’ll pay $50 to a smart cookie that can tell me where the still is. No other action required. (smiles)

The name's Lara; I run this gang. You better not be here to cause trouble or you're in for a world of hurt.

If you didn't come to The Den for a specific reason you should probably leave. It's not very safe around here.

Coward!

Hey, what the fuck!? Who the hell are you?

Join us? This aint a fuckin recruiting center. If you want to join the slavers go to the Den and speak with Metzger.

Yeah right. You're full of shit and you're wasting my time. For that, you die. [Signals to his men.] Let's waste this loser.

Hey! You want a drink or did you just come back to say hi?

Well, since you're such a good customer, I'll let you in on a little secret.

Whiskey is my specialty. It's almost a tradition in the Dyer family. I charge the low, low price of only $5

I'm Frankie and yer standing in 'The Hole.' Best damn bar for a hundred miles!

I don't want people like you in my place. Get out!

Go talk to Sheila. Hey, Sheila, you got a customer!

Whatever…

I don't get paid enough for this.

Hey, it’ll cost more if you've got an audience with ya.

I'm a fuckin' provider, waddya think? I'm like a good Samurai-itan guy.

What you talkin' about? You think I'm a fucking stupid pirla? Some dumb filio di puttana? You think I'm some kinda clown? Am I here to amuse you, is that it?

I provide fer them little paisanos. Pai-san-o, you know, the kids. My kids.

Oh, the pain! It burns so!

Where is it? I cannot find it! I am lost! Oh...

It's so bright…

Hello, welcome, salutations! I am the Great Ananias (he offers you a slight bow, with a flourish). I bring mysteries from near and far friend. Mysteries from a world beyond our own... of the Netherworld.

No, my friend, a MUMMY! Straight from the sands of ancient Egypt to the sands of the Wastes! Exclusively for you to see!

Today, in the room within, I have, for your eyes exclusively... A Jan-u-wine Egyptian Mummy!

The Holy GECK... [He takes a long hit off his pipe.] There is a creature that we sometimes hunt -- sometimes, it hunts us. A gecko. No, I sense that's not what you seek.

The slavers are led by a man with a dark soul. Metzger. He dwells in one of the ruined husks of the Old One's cities. They call it the Den.

You have done a great deed, child. I hear the cries of many wicked bonespirits lost out in the Great Salt Water.

Name's Kurisu, but now not the time for proper greetin'. Please, you needin' to get us out of cage and away from de wicked men.

Thanks again, fren. May the spirits bless you.

It be safe yet? You sent the slavers to the spirits?

Oh, you must be new around here. Welcome to Modoc. My name's Jo, I run the trading post here at Modoc.

A rain dance? [He chuckles softly] No, no... of course not. I wouldn't ask you to do something as impossible as that. You really can't make it rain, can you... No, of course you can't!

Those monsters, they're stealing our children. We won't be safe until they're all dead.

Welcome to Rose's Bed and Breakfast. My, aren't you the strapping young man. What can Rose help you with today?

When was the last time you had a good meal, young lady?

Oh, it's no secret. You just dip them in batter, add some salt and fry in grease.

Welcome to Rose's Bed and Breakfast. My name is Rose -- I mean, Cornelius -- and I run this bed and breakfast.

A while back, I forget when... my best friend of 30… or was it 40 years? Oh, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that he stole my precious gold pocket watch.

Pog? Whatever happened to that game, anyway? Well, I have to go. Maybe we can play later.

Now what!?

Thank you! You are truly a hero amongst heroes. Not many people would risk their lives for a total stranger.

HA! If you think I'm so guilty, why don't you just shoot me and get it over with. You little punk, come and get me!

The name's Grisham. Welcome to my slaughterhouse. You dropping off or picking up?

Smart as whip! You remind me of myself when I was young.

Why, that's a fine looking animal you have there. Should make some fine jerky.

Grrr...

Woof Woof!

*Pant* *pant*!

Oh! You must be one of the Servants assigned here for the day.

Vault City? Well, actually, there's not much to say. I mean, I've been a Citizen all my life…

It's like they're all... clones. They all dress alike, act alike, and the worst part is that everybody seems happy with it.

Hello and welcome, traveler! Have you heard the word today?

It is TIME to hear the wailing of our kin outside these walls and let them in! We have more than enough to feed and shelter our brothers... we need not be rich when so MANY are poor.

*Quietly* (Leans in.) I have a briefcase... with information vital to our cause. Will you deliver it to New Reno for me? I would do it, but the Citizens here are watching me...

Well, hello there... what can I do for you?

*Chuckles* Working with Dave, eh? Yeah, I know the fella. I see he's still got a knack for getting others to do his leg work--lazy bastard.

Not my problem. Look, my business struggles enough as it is. If anyone finds out I'm providing Connar with weapons, then things will turn real ugly, real fast.

Those creatures are the only thing that are stopping Vault City from making us their so-called servants.

You idiot! Why the hell did you do that!

Stay where you are for now, wanderer. What are you doing here?

I...well, I...it's my husband Joshua. He...got into some trouble in...the bar. He accidentally struck a Citizen and was arrested. He didn't mean to, but he'd been drinking, and…

Please rescue Joshua. He's inside the City in the Servant Allocation Center.

Thank you again for rescuing my husband. We'll be moving on soon.

Good people of the Abbey. Take a moment to listen, for I have much to say.

Greetings, friend. I don't think I have seen you around here before. My name is Brother Matthew and I help spread the word about the importance of preserving the knowledge of the old ones.

The Abbey is home to anyone, so long as they don't cause trouble. We are an independent community and rarely get visitors, such as yourself.

Everyone's an Ace here at Ascorti's! I'm Ascorti, proprietor and mayor of this fine town.

I can sell it to you for only $1,000. Special offer; just your luck to hit me on a generous day like this.

If you're here to try your luck, you're welcome.

Looks like your belt doesn't go through all the loops.

A Garden of Eden Creation Kit, huh? Sounds pretty impressive. If I had something like that you sure wouldn't find me grubbing around in the dirt to make ends meet, now would you?

It's got kind of a romantic sound to it, don't it? Ko-ko-weef. Yeah, I still like the way that sounds.

::wheeze:: Hi there. I'm Doc Holliday. How can I help you?

That looks like it must have hurt. Going to hurt your wallet, too...

What do I do here? You're in a hospital. I'm wearing a doctor's coat. I'm covered with blood. There are sharp, pointy things lying all around. Either I'm a successful killer or a fair doctor. Take your pick.

Hi! Nice weather we've been having, huh?

Very astute, friend, very astute. I can see you didn't germinate yesterday!

If you should happen to change your mind, you know where to find me. I've put down roots here. Ha ha ha! Just a little plant humor for you.

Who are you? What are you doing in my house?

The reason I ask, you see, is because my wife is missing. I don't know where she is. She's been gone for days. I've asked around town, and no one has seen her. Can you find her for me?

You don't mean to say that my life is in danger too? Oh dear. You may be right. I've been hearing noises outside the house at night. Whispers and shuffles.

Why did the slave in the control group kill herself? We weren't even testing her!

Oh, I’m not THAT busy…heh…well, no, pretty busy. I mean, mostly its routine drug testing, and occasionally we have a slave go over the edge…

Was that some poor attempt at a joke?

You got some balls coming in here.

Ol' Tomcat says you're a team player. I need people like that. I got a job for you, if you're interested.

If you mess this up or if ANYONE hears about this deal, and I'm gonna put a knife wound on your body for every chip you asked for.

You're not terribly bright… However, you do have a certain…charm. Come with me a moment.

*Sarcastically* A simple traveller. How remarkably open and trusting of you. And what, pray tell, do you think I can do for you, "simple traveller?

I leave, and my husband will bring me back. The Family watches out for their own, whether they want to be watched or not.

Come into my house, will you…

Now look: You find that son of a bitch who killed my boy, don't you touch 'im…you just come back and TELL me the dead man's name. I'LL take care of it from there.

Marriage ain't a word. It's a life sentence.

Oh, you poor dear… don't you have a home?

New Reno is a beautiful city, but there is SIN here - much of which can be traced back to the evils of alcohol…or as you tribesmen call it… (Pauses dramatically.) …FIREWATER!

Why...my goodness! Of all the cheek!

If you ain't talked to Jules, you don't know HALF of what New Reno gots to offer.

Hallelujah! I always KNEW you would be the hero! I KNEW it!

Well, now, ANOTHER thing you gotta know about New Reno is nothin's free.

Brother, I had my eye on you since you walked down the street. You know what I see? I see a pilot. I see someone who wants to FLY. You just need a little help, a little' JET.

Jagged Jimmy J's got a lot of love, my pilot friend, but the world don't always love Jagged Jimmy J back, see?

There goes one bad muthuh…and Jimmy J knows a bad muthuh when he sees one.

Welcome, traveler… Eldridge's the name. You in the market for some iron to fill that holster of yours?

Shooooo-eeee. ::Rubs eyes:: That Power Armor?!

Oh... we got us a discrimnatin' customer, eh? Well, at times, some prize pieces do make their way through town... take this, for example. (Holds up something... odd.) Genuine pre-war tech. Innit something?

DAMN, woman. After I hit those skins, you go off and save the world. That's T-Ray's power for you.

Yo, hero. You be sure to tell everyone that T-Ray's your man, aiight?

Fast? The Highwayman goes from 0 to 60 in less than a second.

I-I'm Dobbs, Private, First Class.

I was in a battle. Yes, a battle. There was gunfire and explosions everywhere. People dying. I was scared but I had to keep on fighting. Then there was this blinding flash.

The next thing I remember was seeing my body as if I was looking down at it from above. I heard the doctors say I was dead and then they threw my body onto a pile of other bodies.

I'm Elise. That's Gond. We're members of a 'group' that's trying to do right for folks.

Not so fast. You need to pass a test before becoming a ranger.

Don't bullshit me. I can see what kind of person you are.

Take a word of advice from Sheriff Dumont, stranger - this town don't care for your kind. Any trouble and I come down hard. Now, is there anything I can do for you?

Recommend you? Hmmm....I couldn't. Don't even know you.

Just make sure things stay that way. Goodbye.

Go fetch me another whiskey - quick now.

Will somebody get this brahmin turd out of here?

I’ve got a job for you…

Greetings, child. Are you one of the Enlightened?

Ah, such enthusiasm. Come with me.

Honestly, how do they expect me to spread the word out here when they don't even keep me up-to-date on the latest doctrine!?

I'm Doc Jubilee. What's wrong, young man?

I don't know. Don't think I can save it. We may have to cut that leg off.

Put that back! You could seriously hurt yourself with that stuff.

Do not fear me, human. I do not intend to harm you. I am Gruthar, leader of this deathclaw pack. Why have you come here?

You are no idiot, human. I can see the truth of this in your eyes.

It is not our way to kill. I understand that you may not believe me, but I hope that you will judge me by my actions toward you and not out of fear or prejudice.

Hello, I'm Ariel. I don't think I've seen you here before. Who are you?

Yes. They provide me with food, water, shelter, and protection. I feel very safe here, and that's more than I could ask for..

The raiders, they were incredibly brutal. They killed everyone: men, women, and children. Rand, my husband, died trying to defend Sandy and me.

My name's Zeke, stranger. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to talk to you -- and I don't think there's anything in this town for you, anyway. You should move on.

Why don't you take a hint and get the duck out of fodge?

They have the guns, they control the water, and they control the food. That means they are in charge. Period.

Hi, I'm Rebecca. Can we talk privately, please?

(Whispering) You may think I'm crazy but I get the feeling I'm being watched all the time.

I have a daughter named Chrissy who's a bit of a tomboy. She likes to run around, explore, and pretty much stick her nose into things. Chrissy's a good kid, though.

Hello, I'm Doc Jones. You can call me Doc. What can I help you with?

Darion is a mental case, plain and simple. He's got more spooks in his head than his dog has fleas.

Here, you'll need to drink this -- all of it, I know it tastes foul. Now, just lie down on the bed over there, and I'll wake you in the morning.

I don’t have time to chitchat with the grunts. You’re dismissed.

Make it quick soldier, I don’t have all day to stand around.

Wrong answer, maggot. You’re to carry your papers with you at all times. You should know that!

You the guy Arch radioed about?

This base is on alert and I don't recognize you. Show me your papers, soldier.

What the... I can see why you're here. You obviously want to get rid of that antique suit you're wearing.

This here's my place, Chris's. It's a service station - ain't you ever seen one of those, in old magazines and such? That's what I got here - a service station.

Navarro? Ain't heard that name in ages. Old military base southeast of San Fran, and that's a ways south of here.

Alert! We got an intruder at the station! Alert!

Name's Quincy, soldier. Why are you tapping my shoulder and looking lost?

You're one round short of a full clip, aren't you? Well, they call you grunts for a reason. Look, Einstein, I can't give you the plans without authorization, okay?

Damn it! You know, Raul would lose his head if it weren't placed so firmly up his ass! This is the third time this quarter that he's lost those plans!

Sorry, man, but I don't have time to chit-chat, you know? I got to get this bird working.

Hey man, Raul don't take no shit from nobody. You see Quincy working on these birds? No way, man. Only Raul works on these babies. You know why? Cause Quincy don't know DICK, man, that's why!

Hey, thanks, man. Raul owes you one! Don't go away and, hey, man, if anybody screws with Raul's birds, you shoot them in the ass. Ok?

Ah, poor child. Would you like to be aligned?

Do not wait too long before returning with a reply. Your neurodynes will be filled with more and more pollution until we can begin the cleansing process.

Torch us? TORCH US? GUARDS! KILL THE UNBELIEVER!

Him: Hi! I'm Juan Cruz! Her: And I'm Vikki Goldman! Both: We're celebrities! And we endorse Hubology! Both: Please note that any similarities between us and people or institutions, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Her: That wasn't so bad, was it? Him: Now just go talk to AHS-7 and we'll be comrades in Hubology! Her: I'm so excited!

Her: Oh, yes, you should definitely make your own choices. Him: And with the Hub's latest book, you can learn how to make the RIGHT choice!

Oh, hello there!

Ahh, yes! Indeed. I will prepare it with fava beans and a nice chianti.

Ah, but if I tell you our plans, then everyone will know. I'm afraid they are secret plans, for now.

Who am I? I am Dr. Fung. I teach and I heal.

You're hurt? Tsk, tsk. Ancient remedy will cure that.

This is a major operation. It will cost you your "good looks", a set of combat armor, and $49000. Are you willing to invest in this?

Him? The Dragon. He's a weakling who fosters weakness.

Teach you? I don't think so. You look far too self-righteous. Get out of here.

I may be a scumbag, but never will it be said I don't stand up for my people. I'm going to hurt you before you die.

*Loud Belch* Whaddya want?

I'm Badger. I used to have a band. *sigh* Called ourselves “There We Smolder”. Now I'm the resident computer tech in San Fran.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't thank you enough for saving her.

Aieee! Help me!

Oh, you poor dear. Radiation and the wasteland aren't nice, are they? I hope someone can help you.

I used to be a nanny, but then the kids mutated into monsters.

Ooh, my guts... ow, ow, ow.

Gasping for air* “Piss off.

Dude, I heard you found my spleen. Did you know to talk to Dr. Fung about putting it back in me?

Hmm, tell me, how do you spell potato? With an 'E,' or without?

Carry on, trooper. The future will be better tomorrow.

That's not true, Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. That's the key to the solution of all our problems-we need a return to family values.

Interesting. I didn't realize that the toxin made them dumber.

In order to make the United States safe for humanity, all of the mutants must first be exterminated.

Isn't it obvious, my mutated friend? The F.E.V. is, thanks to me, a lethal toxin.

Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.

How much weight can a person with a strength of six carry assuming he has the Strong Back perk?

Right. Off you go.

Lock and load. Let's go!

Now, just what the hell are you doing here?

Gee, you've got me shaking in my boots. Shut up.

Sure, I'll join up with you! This old fart has one big adventure left in him.

Metzger's still quite upset with me, even though we fixed his darn radio. He's threatening to sell me off! I'll do anything you ask if you can get me out of this mess.

Boss, I'm really messed up. You got to get Lenny to check me out.

Hello there, my name’s Lenny. H’how can I h’help you?

Y’you c’could say that. I’d trade in all those years to b’be a n’normal person again.

You d’didn’t have enough m’money... b’but I helped y’you out anyway. J’jist c’cant stand to see p’people in p’pain.

Yes, I've had some adventures. Say, if you wouldn't mind answering some questions for me, I could tell you some of my adventures in return.

It seems this Enclave needed an army and they chose deathclaws because of their ferocity, physical prowess, and... well, you get the picture.

Uh huh. Well, your IQ may be smaller than your shoe size, but you obviously have something going for you to have survived in the world this long…

Arf! Woof! Rooby-Doo!

Meow...error.

Not bird, nor plane, nor even frog, just lil' old me - Robodog!

*Say something you think would fit*

It's a lie. I only go out to the barn at night to a... make sure everything is locked up.

Wow, I never thought such a beautiful woman would try to seduce me. What! You're not a woman!

Dad runs the slaughterhouse. He's OK as far as fathers go.

Is it over? The War… Who won?

What do you do when you've been hibernating for over a century? Even bears don't sleep that long.

Maybe... maybe I will take my chances with you.

*Say something you think would fit*

*Say something you think would fit*