Van Gogh High School

Say something you think would fit

Say something you think would fit

You know those old high school movies where everyone's divided into cliques and social groups? You know, nerds, jocks, preps, all that? Contrary to popular belief, that's not as unrealistic as you may think. Sure, it's exaggerated in the movies, everything is. But to act like there isn't at least a LITTLE bit of a social hierarchy is dumb. People probably think that 'cause the people that think that often grew up in generations where self expression was generally frowned upon and automatically labelled "Satanic".

*sarcastically* Gee, it's almost as if humans are inherently social creatures and expecting them to sit down and shut up at the sound of a loud ringing noise is a ridiculous expectation. 

Wow, my mashed potatoes are only slightly covered in rat fur. It's an improvement.  

Well, that's your problem. Your engine's busted. Don't worry, I can get ya a new one, as long as you're willing to wait a few weeks. 

Ah, I think I found what's wrong, bubbo. You're using an Electric Motor for something that works best with an internal combustion engine. 

....What? Just 'cause I'm a mechanic I can't play with Barbies too? 

Aww, thanks, Penny! Sorry I couldn't get you anything.....SURPRISE! I got you that wrench you wanted when we passed that hardware store last week! You really thought I'd skip our anniversary? Especially when its on my favorite holiday? You know how much I love Valentines Day! 

Penny..? You okay..? You've been in your room all day long...I can buy you another dog if you want! (...) Okay, yeah, you're right. Too soon. 

Oh god, this had milk in it! I'm lactose intolerant! Where's the bathroom?

Lemme know where you and your girlfriend are going tonight so I don't go. I don't wanna catch double cooties! 

*teasingly* Ooh, you're gonna smooch her aren't you?

Oh please, it's just a dumb movie! How scary can it be?

*an hour later*

....Hold me..

I ain't done nothin' wrong! It was those durn punk kids again! 

I done did some thinkin', Evan, and...I-I think I wanna ask 'er out. But, I-I don't know the first thing 'bout talkin' to girls. I'm about as clueless as an armadilluh in an ice patch. 

YEEEEHAWW!! Them there  city slickers say monster truckin' ain't a sport, but I sure just proved them wrong, yes sir I did. YEEE-HOOO!!

*under her breath* Why do Americans think all Asians are good at math..? *louder* Go bug someone else about Ms. Buskley's homework, I'm practicing my art right now! 

Please don't be an F....Please don't be an F....Oh! A C+! Yess!!

*sounding close to crying* Evan, you don't understand...That art fair meant the world to me...And I...And I had to miss it, because of a STUPID dentist's appointment! That was a once in a lifetime chance, Evan..A once in a lifetime chance. I blew it.

Evan! Your friends are here! 

Evan, is something wrong? You've hardly touched your Shanklish...Are you going through another 'edgy' phase, as the kids would call it? You know, when I was a child we just called it a rebellious phase. You kids and your made up slang..

*in response to the Principal's question* ...No, I'm sorry Mr. Buttstick. The fact is Evan's father and I had a divorce about five or so years ago, and the only male relatives he has that a re still alive are still in the old country. 

Well, maybe Evan would learn some manners if there was a proper male figure on his house. Surely there's gotta be ONE. Father, uncle, brother..?

Hey, uh, Penny. If you help fix my car, I'll let you skip an entire day of school, you choose the date.

*chuckle* Oh, kids and their dreams. They think they can be different, that they can be individuals. Ha! That's ridiculous! If we let anyone here actually develop critical thinking skills they're gonna start to realize the flaws in our public education system. And then they'll be demanding we treat the art kids as good as we treat the jocks! And then eventually they'll start wearing shirts with skulls on them, that'll slowly transition to shirts with guns! Any form of self expression is evil! You wanna know why the excuses we make for banning the things we ban are so poorly thought out and flimsy when looked at with the TINIEST bit of common sense? They're not meant as justifications, they're meant as cover-ups; ways to disguise the actual truth that I hate seeing kids enjoying themselves! Back when I was a kid we hated our  lives and wished we were dead, AND WE LIKED IT!

You think just because I'm a Christian I'm going to hate LGBT people or atheists or whatever? That is very, very wrong. The Book of Matthew 22:34-40. 

"But when the Pharisees had heard that he had put the Saducces to silence, they were gathered together. That one of them, which was a layer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, 'Master, which is the great commandment in the law?' Jesus said unto him, 'Thou shalt love the Lord Thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy love thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and prophets." 

See? You can't love someone if you don't want them doing what makes them happy! 

Oh, this math is just so darn hard! *small gasp* Dear Lord, please excuse my usage of such vile language. Amen. 

*Weakly, dying of cancer* I-I'm scared...But I know I'm going to Heaven to be with Him, my name's written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Please...Evan..sing with me just this once...*start singing Amazing Grace*

Oh my god, you idiot, Batman is DC and Iron Man is-I mean, uh....is Captain America the guy with the claws?

*nervous* Oh man, I hope nobody sees through my clever disguise. I'd be toast if my clique found me at the comics store..

Oh, this is just like that issue of Captain Cosmic where he has to save the day with a brain-twisting puzzle instead of bashing things over the head! (...) Ummm...O-Obviously my little brother told me about it! The little brat's all over those things. (...) Yeah, I do TOO have a little brother! You just never see him1

I didn't even say anything about there being more than two genders but okay. 

I am well aware I'm one of the only mentally stable adults in this hellhole, thank you. 

Oh wow, great job as usual, Patricia! Though, I'd like it if you branched out a little more. Most of your drawings have the art style and coloring method of those old Golden Age comics.  It's not a bad style to have, I certainly like it, but I'd also like you to  branch out a tad more. 

WHAT?!?  DO I HEAR....BASIC HUMAN INTERACTION?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! YOU ARE WORSE THAN SATAN!! GO TO THE OFFICE AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, THINKING YOU CAN CONTINUE A CONVERSATION FROM LUNCH. DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE BELL?!

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?1? THIS IS A SCHOOL!! IF YOU SMILE THAT MEANS YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!! ARE YOU A BAD PERSON?! HUH? OF COURSE YOU'RE A BAD PERSON, YOU'RE SMILING!

What was that? Huh? Am I goin' crazy? I KNOW I HEARD ONE O' YOU DONKEY-FUCKING CHICKENSHIT SISSY FUCKSTICKS LAUGHING!! IN MY CLASSROOM THERE IS TO BE NO LAUGHING WHATSO-FUCKING-EVER! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR, MAGGOTS? YOU ARE LESS THAN THE DIRT ON MY SHOE!! YOU ARE LESS THAN THE LEFTOVER CRUMBS OF DOG FOOD IN A DOG BOWL! YOU ARE LESS THAN THE TINIEST OF SINGLE CELLED UNIFORMS UNTIL YOU LEARN THAT YOU MUST SUBMIT TO YOURSELF TO MY WILL AT ALL TIMES IN MY CLASSROOM! 

*mumble angrily about Jews*

*mumble angrily about Obama*

Watch where your throwin' these bottles, damn kids..*proceed to mumble angrily about kids giving you work to do*

Alright, children, settle down.. We've got some math to learn! Isn't that fun?

A game....without math?! What is this blasphemy?!

Why are none of you excited to play math games based on games that have no math involved whatsoever?! That's the best kind of game!

*In a stereotypical fantasy king voice* Hail and well met, weary traveler. Welcome to the tribe of the junk people! *in his normal voice* Nah, I'm just messin' with ya. What can I do for ya, Penny? 

See, this is a perfectly good couch. Who would throw away a couch like this? It's practically mint condi-*the couch falls apart*....Oh, nevermind. Yeah, I can see why they tossed it. 

Pffft! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Good one, Penny! Asking about my parents like that. You know they dropped me in this literal dump. The only parental figure I got that actually likes and respects me as a person is the owner of this place, Skipp.