Town Attack: The Novel - VOICE ACTING EDITION

Wow, what a moment! I'm genuinely thrilled to see this next team crossing the finish line, it's quite a treat!

Cheese Stick and Coconut, you've made it here as the final team. Luckily for you, this leg isn’t an elimination round, so you're still in with a chance!

Do you think eleventh-hour tactics will sway me? Nice try! It's indeed amusing to see such efforts to capture my excitement.

Heh. Looks like she might be putting you two in a bit of trouble!

Well, if you insist. Thanks again for all your help!

I wasn’t even surprised to hear him say that. I just… Beyond the Christmas bonus stuff, the real reason I wanted to win this show? I wanted to prove to him that I could. That I wasn’t some screw-up!

(replying to Soccer Mom for her usage of the word "slay") l- Probably, but I don't care! You just SHOOK them out of a tree?! That's not allowed, you were supposed to shoot them!

(when they hear the name "Snare") Ew, the greasy one with the spiked collar? What happened? Were you afraid you’d be TOO cool together?

Oh, that puzzle could take hours! Which is wasted time we simply don't have! If we both work on the drinks, we could help each other finish in record time!

Hey, you have your methods, I have mine. It just so happens mine are more evil! And more fun.

Yes! The legends were true! The secret fifth face of Mount Rushmore, President Donald Stump!

l just came up with the greatest, evilest plan to ever enter my magnificent brain! I'm gonna surround the rock with all the gunpowder I have, then once everyone stops expecting anything crazy, that's when I'll glide through with absolute radiance!

But isn't it even MORE diabolical to use precise strikes? l mean, wild flails? Sure, that can destroy just about anything. But a calculated strike? That's personal, that's smart, THAT'S evil!

You are aware time isn't something we have an abundance of in this race, right?!

Instead of having one big explosion, if we evenly distribute the gunpowder into different limbs, it'll be simulated much efficiently!

Cutting meat? They don’t call me ‘The Butcher’ for nothing...

You can have them all except this one. She's the best, so she's coming home with me. Unless there's a problem with that.

Okay, I do know how to use a blow torch? Do you know how many wounds have been cauterized in horror movies?

Whaaat, no fair!!! Come on, why do you get to be the only one slicing and dicing?!

We could parachute our way down! Like how Oreo escaped the killer in 'Hooked on Murder 12'!

OMG! I can't believe it! I get to actually work with THE Radio! This is the coolest thing I've ever done! I've had fantasies of this moment, except in them you were riding a horse and...

l hope us saving your guys' butts isn't gonna make you go easy on us! l expect a HARD race to the finish!

Ugh, fine! There's a colorful beak target ten feet over there, help yourself.

What!? You thought we wouldn't completely DESTROY a drink-mixing challenge?! And here I thought you had some smarts about you!

Hey, we’re not the only ones here, we still have a chance! I know we can make a miracle happen!

This is kind of perfect for us! l don't know who snuck this into our cab, but it gets rid of our biggest competition! How lucky we made the right connection!

True. Well, sorta. We're almost guaranteed to be last, so it's unlikely that even if we go fast, we'll catch our last minute departures.

Not so sure on that one. Here, maybe we should both watch the demonstration again and look for what's wrong.

Hmmm, oddly specific...but it’s not like that’ll be overly challenging. Come on, let’s move out!

Oh wow, look who finally managed to beat us at something! Shame we're still on the same flight, otherwise your win could've meant something!

Cool your jets, you think I'm just gonna let you have this one?! What's in it for me!?

l don't think I have the arm tying down just yet. You can get a head start, I'm gonna watch through it again.

(reading their team's clue message) Drive yourselves to Boulders Beach in Cape Town. You’ll find your next clue at the end of the boardwalk. Note: you must enter the beach through the visitor’s center.

Screw it. If someone who knows how to put on a show took that long to finish, we stand zero chance in this challenge. We're switching to the other one.

It's not like we'll actually help or anything, but if someone else is offering to help, who am I to tell them no?

I’m a REPORTER! Not an investigator. It’s not my job to solve cases, just talk about them. And find what areas give me the best lighting on camera, which is over there!

Some nose for news! You’re seriously gonna ignore such an obvious lead?!

Hey, maybe once we're through this tunnel, we should push the wheel back in front of it! Pretty great sabotage, right?

We're not complaining, you saved our skins! Thanks for that! Man, first your own allies, now a team loved by everyone?! You two are VICIOUS!

Ugh, fine. But only cuz I doubt they'd be dumb enough to ignore the rules without a really good reason.

Right when this should be clearing everything up, our hope was dashed with a whole smiley face. Well, that's wholly unhelpful.

Are you serious?! Wow. Bold of you to assume you'd make it first anyway!

Hey, don't worry about that. They left a huge crowd behind! C'mon, let's take advantage of it!

Okay. Great! We just need to keep your temper in check, and we'll be sure to nail it!

Heh, that actually worked! So, ready for me to start taking it easy on you?

Holy cannoli! Isn't it daytime? Who needs that bright of a flash?

It's all about going at your own pace, right? And listening to you? You've gotta listen to you! Not how someone would play!

We managed to get a find a flight with a layover in Addis Ababa, it's not fantubular, but it's faster than direct! Want on?

Instead of trying to run this solo, we're certainly up for meeting people and making some tubular friendships!

I know, I was shaking in my leg warmers for a minute there!

Alrighty, my little superstars! If you want a body like mine, just follow my lead! Ready?!

Oh please, this'll be easy. Cactus made me learn the rules of rugby inside and out. Hey, maybe it IS worth it to make friends!

Hey, she's plotting something. She's gonna try making us foul too!

On second thought, why don't you take this one, Vinyl? Think of it as an alliance perk!

Easy peasy, it's just focusing on something a thousand feet in the air. Now how could that be hard?!

(With little emotion in his voice) Well, just thought about what I'd want to see get blown up... little did I know, the answer was staring me in the face.

Eh, it's no big deal. If neither of us saw Diary, we can always go again!

Yes! I mean, exposure helped me get over my fear of you! Somewhat. So I think maybe the same could apply to heights!

Getting frustrated won't make it come out stronger, dad. Now's not the time to let your sacral chakra take flight.

She seems to have a clear understanding of what she's doing, I feel like we could gain a lot from working with her.

Tough break. Literally. Check the rule book and weep.

We're in dead last; we need to put someone behind us. I vote the brothers.

(after investigating a series of large imprints in the grass) Seems like horn tracks. Good, we need one. Wouldn't have found this stuck in the jeep.

If you don't give us a clue, then we'll... we'll... have to pick up those chainsaws again! And who knows what we'll carve up!

Oh please! Do you know how many of my kid's school projects I've gotten done with a buzz?! Now let's not get into the nitty-gritty!

What are you talking about? We're doing the challenge exactly as infriended. Er, untended? You know what I mean.

Alright, so clearly we need a bit of a wow factor. I can start showing off my kid's finger paintings? They're basically Picassos!

Nice! How was it? Did you absolutely slay the house down period-T?!

You think we stopped at any of those red lights? Man, it's like you don't even know us!

I have no idea what you're talking about, and quite frankly, I don't care. Enjoy eating our dust!

I think you could crush some drink mixing! Time to put that bartender's license to good use!

Of course I didn't! But if thinking we're missing with people makes them want to ally with us, who am I to change their minds?

Hey, love your guys' energy, but it is REEEALLY helpful to taunt other teams? Bad PR kills any brand! Except in the oil industry.

Well, I couldn't just GIVE you the answer! But I could give you a great deal on some lemon-scented apple matcha!

And the perfect chance to tell you about my specialty teas! Any interested buyers?!