When a valuable carving gets stolen, suddenly still-life works of art come to life… Can the detectives stop the latest army of statues and sculptures from taking over?
This is a short story I wrote as a contrast to the horror and comedy I'm producing for Tiny Giant Studios. This is an opportunity to showcase character voices without utilising my services as a demo producer.
If you love Carmen Sandiego and DragNet, this is for you.
Thank you to those of you who submitted auditions already! I'm moving the deadline up to Thursday so that those chosen can have more time to record, and I have more time for editing between shows and paid work.
Some of you are really close on the shortlists. It's tough but I will never cast early!
A “par-boiled” detective who has the occasional outburst or out-of-character moment, like Sam Spud on Between the Lions
(Noir detective voice) It was Tuesday, 7:41 pm, and the City of Waterfalls was drying out so badly that the rivers trickled into slivered streams. But I didn’t care because I was having the usual at The Tab.
(startled) Either we drank too fast, or there’s a bunch of stone figures suddenly lurching out the doors…
Sheesh, can’t I have a little fun? We’re finally off the clock and not dealing with a ridiculous case…
A no-nonsense woman like Kate Monday and Pat Tuesday in MathNet. Partner of Adam Thursday.
(annoyed) Hey, can you lay off the narration for a bit? I’m trying to enjoy my vodka float.
(questioning) Are your exhibit pieces this talkative? And remarkably polite, if I may ask?
(amazed) So magic really does exist. Butter my ass and call me a biscuit.
Chief of RagNet with the attitude of Robert Hawkins in Static Shock and the voice of James Earl Jones or Kevin Michael Richardson.
(calling) Woods, Thursday, get your asses over to the Science Museum pronto!
(exposition) It’s called the Obelisk Flute. Centerpiece for the Contemporary Gallery. Valued at over ten-million dollars.
(warning) Just do me a favor: Don’t steal the carving for yourselves either.
Your typical 1950s-1970s news reporter.
We interrupt this program to bring you this update from the Alexandrian Museum of Natural Phenomena. In what appears to be a physically impossible heist, the Obelisk Flute, a rare marble carving, has been stolen.
This just in! The Wax Museum has been burglarized!
Startled workers in the museums and exhibits that get robbed.
There are THREE SPOTS, so each one is assigned to a different location.
(scared) No! They’re not supposed to talk or move or anything!
(distant yelling) HEY! Don’t leave me with them!
(exposition) These aren’t as prized as the ones in other museums of natural history.
Inanimate art works come to life. Some are zombie-like, some are just annoyed and pissed off.
There are FIVE SPOTS.
(Zombie Statue) The Piper… is in… the Wax… museum…
(Wax Figure) Ow- I still can’t feel my other arm- wait, there it is...
(Statue, apologetic) Oh, sorry… (distant shouting) Let these people through!
"Mistress of Mischief" who is the perpetrator. Crazy and insane as Azula in Avatar: The Last Airbender or Morty Maxwell from the Super Solvers series.
(sadistic with respect) I’ll let you be the player and not the pawn, I do love worthy opponents.
(disappointed) You fool, and here I thought you would make this last longer.
(crazy) NO! Get back to my side, or else I’ll skin you again! BWAH!!!
The exorcist on standby dispatched to the scene.
(responding to the Chief) I heard someone call for an exorcist… And I happened to be in the area.
(menacing) You forgot who the real chessmaster is, Mortimer.
(dismissive) No! You have had enough ice cream this week!
