The Homestuck Renaissance Troupe

*Say something you think would fit*

jade, what if they get married or something??? oh god, if rose became my sister too, that would wreak HAVOC on karkat's shipping diagram! as leader of this team i submit that we cannot afford to let this happen!!!!!!!!!! everyone man your battle stations!!! we have a ship to sink! arm torpedoes!!!!!! KA-PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. target destroyed. B) heheh, i am just joking around, of course.

[Furious at Davesprite:] RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH! I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS! POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE??? AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE?????? THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE! THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN. WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

[HSBC, depressed and venting:] there’s a huge hole inside me. maybe that’s why it feels like you’re the only person who understands me anymore. because we’ve both got big, howling ghost holes inside of us. and talking to each other makes it feel less lonely. that’s what we did, terezi. we filled each other’s holes. [Awkward pause] what? ugh. terezi, get your mind out of the gutter! i thought we were having a serious moment here.

[Playful banter:] You know you like the mannequin dick. Accept it. Let's put this into perspective. You put up with the puppet prostate because you love it. Also, coarse is a good word. [PAUSE] Are you going to start rapping about this? [AHEM] Prong of flesh bereft of home. Found solace 'twixt a cleft of foam.

I should have gone looking for her. Why didn't I? John went to look for his father. It would have been normal of me. I can't remember what I was trying to prove anymore. For some reason, despite all the danger, I never thought she was in any trouble. I never believed she would actually die. I grew up with the feeling that something more significant had always been meant for her. That she was a heroine displaced in some way, resigned to the inglorious duty of raising me, and preparing me in her way. I didn't actually need the ectobiological verification that she was like a mother and a sister at the same time. I always understood that somehow. And I felt she had knowledge and ability beyond what she let on. It was always intimidating, but nonetheless a source of respect which was childishly begrudging on my part. I think she was just waiting for me to catch up with her. But now I can't. [Pause] I could stop being so cowardly, for once. I could short circuit this endlessly expanding game of chess we're playing, just like Jack decided to do. Maybe I will go kill Jack myself. Right now.

[HSBC, Rosebot talking to Dirk. Intimate and intense:] For all my temporary discomfort with the prospect of settling down on Deltritus and starting what could very loosely be considered a family with you, I want you to know that my heart is in what we're working towards and that I'm happy to be here with you. Not drifting around in a constrictive, small pond, getting caught up in trivialities like politics and celebrity and romance, but saving the fucking universe.

so at what point in the future am i supposed to look forward to you whipping up this titanic hankerin for my knob. be honest with me. cause im busy. and i want to know exactly when i got to clear some space in my calendar for when some fuckwit blunders out of a magical phone booth and makes a ballad-inspiring play for my throbbing beef truncheon

[Definitely not about to have a panic attack:] ok wait hold on why am i getting this stupid game for you. youre the one who should be wrist deep in puppet ass. the problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking puppet dong. i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis. an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face. you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock. im whirling in the terrible cyclone at the epicenter of my own personal holocaust of twitching foam noses. its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here. like. the proboscalypse i guess. i am just saying. if i see one more soft bulbous bottom being like. kind of jutting out and impudent or whatever. im gonna fly off the handle. im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit

[Venting to Dirk:] the fuckin puppets!!! i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me. honestly it is very possible that he was just insane and thats that. i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever. in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it. maybe... maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him?? maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in... grinning... glaring... laughing in my sleep... maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so... maybe we would have... ugh

well..... it sounds really crazy and kind of scary but..... it also sounds kind of exciting! i dont know john maybe this is your destiny. if anyone can save the world i think it is probably you!

[To Karkat:] i cant take this anymore!!!!!!!! i dont even know what im reading here but its preposterous and ive had it! i am just so angry, i cant believe i let you push me around all those years. you are completely out of your mind, i was too nice by just blocking you and typing frowny faces and stuff. i should have let you HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HSBC:] i can live with rose doing this because she wanted to see what would happen. but i couldnt stand the idea of owing my kid to the fact you felt sorry for me! especially after the dave and karkat... situation... i couldnt do that again. i needed a fresh start, not to sit around taking care of grubs and watching shitty romcoms forever and wasting away in an empty house! i wanted to live! and living here is already so hard. and not only because of the war or what happened to dirk or whatever the hell is wrong with john. the world is fucked!!! and yet, despite all that, yiffy turned out to be so good. and she's mine.

[Playful banter:] Shush! The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster.

Roxy, I get you're trying to make me feel better, but a lot of things you're saying here aren't really helping! Do you even realize what you're saying half the time? I think I liked you better when you were drinking!

HSBC: You're typically content stumbling through life as a soft-headed bimbo, and it's only now of all times you start showing stark, pointed interest in happenings outside of yourself? I find that odd. Suspicious even. [Dramatic Pause] You're thinking, "She's a bad mother," aren't you?

Yeah but come on its not like youre from a century in the future. Nor am i a quaint man of the past. Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine???

YOURE BLUFFING YOU DONT EVEN HAVE THE POWER TO GIVE ME A PHANTASMAL ERECTION! GO AHEAD! MAKE MY FUCKING DAY! IM READY FOR YOU. YOU THINK IM AFRAID? ILL TAKE YOUR BONER MAGIC LIKE A MAN! IM NOT ASHAMED! I WILL STAND TALL AND PROUD AT FULL MAST IN FRONT OF THIS PRETTY ALIEN! DO YOUR WORST YOU BASTARD!!!!!

[HSBC, drunk and sobbing:] Oh... *sniffle* Oh, dirk... Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this, if youre really gone, then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend. That is not cute.

[Drunk:] hey dick. *dirk. whaaaat do u think... it would be like... if we had kids??? no i mean what would they be like? th kids. u ever think about it? [Pause] you know for an eccantric guy you can be boring as fuck sometimes like shuuuucks buster its just a fun lil hyphothetical to daydream about! why you need to suck the fun out of shit like some turd hungry dracula. its not like im lobbyin for you to hook me up with a whole mess of fuckin babbies or thats im holding on to any such delsusion thats even a remote possibility..... le siiiiiign..////

[Sober:] so thats when i decided to clean up my act. i didnt want her to meet a sloppy embarrassing mess of a daughter. even if she did like to drink at some point it was kind of a childish idea that doing so myself would make me closer to her or help us bond or whatever.... oh! jane did i mention? i saw her in a dream today! she looked so pretty and happy...

[HSBC, Meat:] i am getting sick and tired of davekat. we get it!! hashtag love wins!!!!!! ur both very cute and love eachother very much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just wanna do my laundry without potensh walkin in on two of my bffs goin whole assed ham on top of some socks. every. single. time.

You should try to be more polite to me. Seeing as I am a representation of your entire mind, I have complete control over all your basic functions. I could trigger a particularly spirited bowel movement right before she gets here, so watch your step. [Pause] Just kidding, dude. Jesus. I would never make you shit your pants in front of a girl you liked, even if she does happen to be my chief competition. We Dirk splinters can be pretty Machiavellian but we do actually have some fuckin' standards.

[Mental breakdown to end all mental breakdowns:] Ok, we're the same person! I fucking know that! Why do you think I'm so fed up with your shit? Don't you think it's possible that I'm fed up with my OWN shit?? How cool do you think it is having my own godawful personality mirrored back at me all the time, reminding me what it must be like when other people have to deal with me? Or constantly having all the consequences and fuckups resulting from my batshit thought processes amplified because there's another version of my crazy brain out there dangerously overclocked by a supercomputer which believes, just as mistakenly as my own broken mind, that it's operating in my best interest??? Do you have any idea how fucking sick I am of myself?

Ult Dirk, as Narrator] She says this in a hollow tone. It’s the disarming voice a puppeteer ventriloquizes for a marionette. Dirk catches her cheek as she slides into sleep. It’s difficult for the untrained ear to spot the exact moment in their conversation when the words she was saying stopped being hers and started being his. Or maybe they were her words. Does it really matter? In many respects, they’re basically the same person, aren’t they? Kindred spirits in blood and perspective, the puppet masters of the respective games they like to believe they’re playing. [As Ult Dirk, smug:] But you already knew that, right? Anyone paying attention could have guessed by now who’s really telling this story. You’re not so innocent either. I’ve caught you leering at some pretty personal moments. Are you having fun being a voyeur? Just violating the shit out of everyone’s privacy? Are these teenage romantic entanglements panning out the way you wanted? They never do.

im 0k with it. im 0k with a l0t 0f things. even 0ur inevitable failure. th0ugh it will briefly masquerade as vict0ry. ... ribbit.

[Robot, and being absolutely ridiculous about it] maybe i will also rig my p0wer s0urce t0 the 0utc0me 0f the functi0n and rand0mly bl0w myself up! that w0uld be just. really. really. really*rand(rand(rand(rand(rand(0M)*0M)*0M)*0M)*0M) where 0M = s0me number drawn quite at rand0m fr0m 0ne 0f y0ur absurd human hats. !~M~0~D~N~A~R. g00dbye

[Godtier] oh!!! sollux lets do it! the corpse party! theres no better time and there are so many corpses here to work with! is everybody ok with that? do you want to have a big corpse party? we can incinerate the remains in the sun it will be just glorious!!

[Trolling Dave:] fIRST, oK, i THINK YOU'RE AWFUL, lET'S PUT THAT FACT ON THE TABLE WHERE WE CAN BOTH SEE IT, nOW YOU HAVE BEEN PRIMED FOR THE DIGESTIVE RUINATION THAT'S ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE, aND THE COMPREHENSIVE SOILING OF THE LAUNDRY ENVELOPING YOUR PERSON,

[Getting bullied by Vriska:] oKAY, tHANKS, i GUESS, bUT, yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, fOR BEING PARALYZED,,,,,,,,,,, i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES,

[Rapping horrendously:] : yOU CAN'T HANDLE MY SLAMS, wELL, uNLESS WHEN YOU CAN, iN WHICH CASE, tHAT'S COOL, uH, i JUST SERVE UP THE HOOPLA, tO GOAT NOSES, tHAT ARE HOOPLESS, }:o), aBOUT THE PAN, wHO'S CALLED PUPA, iN THE CASE YOU WERE CLUELESS, aBOUT THE PAN WHO CAN MAN, uP, aND IS ABLE TO STAND, uP, oN LEGS uNLIKE MINE, wHICH, aRE FUNCTIONALLY USELESS,

oh ii dont know, maybe becau2e we are 2uppo2ed two 2ave the world twogether??? ii al2o talk two you becau2e iin ca2e you havent notiiced ii de2pii2e my2elf and perpetually 2eek two dupliicate through emotiional paiin the cacophony of phy2iical paiin my hiideou2 mutant braiin cau2e2 me every day. oh my god ii ju2t had a breakthrough!!! thank you 2o much for thii2, iit wa2 great. that wa2 a joke, here type "ha". [PAUSE] now type iit agaiin. [PAUSE] there you go, you are now offiiciially the liife of the party.

[Joking, before becoming deathly serious:] nooooooo, not the ban, it buuuuuuurn2, oh god hahahaha. waiit. oh god. iit doe2 burn. 2omethiing'2 wrong, iim 2eriiou2! that horriible p2ychiic noii2e... the voiice2...they're all goiing two diie... oh 2HiiT iim bleediing... 2hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... thii2 ii2 bad... ii have two get her iin quiick!! got two go!

[No lisp] man, being blind is dumb, can i like gr0pe y0u 0r s0mething t0 get up t0 date 0n y0ur appearance, w0uld that be weird?

[Freaking the fuck out] OH GOD NO NO NO, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU WENT CRAZY, I COULDN'T TAKE THAT ON TOP OF ALL THIS. ERIDAN JUST FLIPPED HIS SHIT AND KILLED FEFERI AND KANAYA, AND I'M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT ABOUT IT!!!!

Do the "I am your God" speech :D https://www.homestuck.com/004528

HSBC/Buff Karkat: MAYBE YOU'D GIVE MORE OF A FUCK ABOUT THE REPRODUCTIVE FUTURE OF OUR SPECIES IF ARADIA WAS EVER ACTUALLY THERE LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO GET SOME.

*ac saunters from her dark cave a little bit sl33py from the recent kill* *ac uses one of her mouths to lick the fresh blood off her paws* *and the other one to blow you a kiss!*

[Furious (but clinging to those cat puns for dear life)] bllllraaaaaawwwwwlllllrrrrghgghghgh!!!! why do you do this, why are you so confurdent about your stupid commands? dont you know you cant ACTUALLY tell me what to do?? its not like you even have any special mind pawers or telepurrthy or anything!

[Best Equius impression] *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*

Oh My It Is Your Human Sarcasm Again. I Enjoy Listening To It And I Wish Doing So Could Serve As My Primary Form Of Recreation. There See I Just Did It Too. Saying The Opposite Thing To Emphasize My Contempt. But Suddenly I Feel More Primitive And Hate Myself A Little More. It Was Like This Funny Miracle That Just Happened In My Heart

[Struggling with a drunk Rose:] Yes. After You. If You Can Actually. Manage. Whoa There! Maintain Your Balance. Okay. Are You Good. Okay Good. Lets Go

HSBC: Then Stop Pretending That My Feelings Are Top Priority AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE

JOHN. WHY WOULD YOU L4UGH 4T 4 BL1ND G1RL. YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW MUCH YOU D1SGUST M3. YOUR3 4 TOT4L D1SGR4C3 TO TH3 F13LD OF 3CTOB1OLOGY. 1F W3 3V3R M33T, 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13

[Venting to Vriska/vulnerable] 1T K1ND OF M4K3S M3 F33L GU1LTY. B3C4US3 SH3 PR3TTY MUCH S4CR1F1C3D H3RS3LF. TO M4K3 TH1NGS B3TT3R. SP3C1F1C4LLY, B3TT3R FOR *M3* 1 TH1NK. TO L3T M3 L34D 4 B3TT3R L1F3, PR3SUM4BLY. TO F1X MY PROBL3MS 1 GU3SS? BUT. 1 DON'T F33L F1X3D

HSBC: 1 C4NT B3L13V3 1M 4BOUT TO S4Y TH1S BUT. D1RK W4S R1GHT. TH1NGS *4R3* H4PP3N1NG 4G41N. BUT TH3YR3 NOT JUST H4PP3N1NG H3R3. 1 DONT KNOW 3X4CTLY WH4T 1T 1S, BUT SOM3TH1NG R34LLY, R34LLY... [Sighs] SOM3TH1NG 3XTR3M3LY S1GN1F1C4NT 1S ON 1TS W4Y. 1 C4N F33L 1T L1NG3R1NG R1GHT 4T TH3 P3R1PH3RY OF P3RC3PT1ON. L1K3 4 SUN, JUST B3LOW TH3 HOR1ZON, R1S1NG. 1 TH1NK YOU C4N, TOO

[To Terezi:] Man, I sure am glad this little feud of ours is 8asically over. We're totally even! Now we can just go 8ack to 8eing friends, and things will 8e gr8. Hmmmmmmmm........ Hahahaha! You won't 8elieve this, 8ut it only occurred to me now that you won't even 8e a8le to read this! Even if you do somehow manage to stum8le 8ack to your hive........ you're 8lind now! Whoooooooops.

[Sadistic af:] Tavros, have I mentioned how cute you look in that plucky little outfit? Why if I didn't know 8etter, I'd say I was playing with Pupa Pan himself! Isn't that what you want, Tavros? To 8e like Pupa? Of course you do! What 8oy wouldn't want to 8e like Pupa! So dashing and 8rave. He is everything you are not! For one thing, he can flyyyyyyyy. Do you want to flyyyyyyyy, Tavros? Have you ever tried to fly? I 8et you haven't! How a8out we take to the skies, Pupa! Hahahaha, oh you like that idea, Pupa? Yes, you do. I can feel it in your simple, mallea8le 8rain. You want to fly so 8ad! Fly, Pupa!!!!!!!! Flyyyyyyyy! Hahahahahahahaha!

[To Aradia, total breakdown:] AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! You're so infuri8ing! Why c8n't you just h8 me? It would 8e a lot easier th8t way. Or at least feel 8othered or annoyed or S8METHING! God!!!!!!!! May8e I sh8uld just rip my he8rt out of my chest and pound it to a 8loody pulp here on my desk with my sup8r strong ro8ot arm. Pound pound pound pound pound pound pound pound! Look at that, more nasty 8lue 8lood all over me. Why not! Might as well op8n the floodg8s and p8nt my whole hive with this oh so envia8le cerulean SWILL. 8ecause clearly it's up to me to feel em8tions for the 8oth of us, you misera8le soulless witch! I h88888888 you! H8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 haaaaaaaate! I only regret killing you cause it m8de you so 8ORING!!!!!!!!

[To Nepeta, dominating] The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those stink-b100ded h001igans strikes me as scandal beyond measure. I'm afraid you're too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption. It's forbidden. You will be on my team. That's final.

[To Gamzee, submissive af] Yes. So good. I am presently whipped into a state of contrition. One befitting of our class disparity. But I'm starting to perspire again so it's best that we stop. Thank you for indulging me

[Theatrical reading] Great musclebeasts tussle, bu%om in heft. With thunderous muscle, buttock to spec.

[High as shit] TC: MaN eVeRyWhErE i LoOk... TC: aLlS i SeE iS mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLeS. TC: It'S sO sPiRiTuAl, AlL tHeSe mIrAcLeS aNd ShIt. TC: oK lIkE jUsT bE tAkIn tHiS fUcKiN tItS bOtTlE oF fUcKiN fAyGo I jUsT cRaCkEd Up OpEn. TC: AnD hOw It'S bEiNg AlL lIkE hIsSiNg AnD sHiT. TC: mOtHeRfUcKiN hIsSiNg MaN, wHo WeNt AlL aNd ToLd It To Do ThAt? TC: HoW wOuLd It EvEn Do ThAt, It'S cRaZy. TC: iT's A mIrAcLe.

[Flirty] HeY... WhEn wE Up aNd sTaRt tO KiCk aT ThIs rEd TeAm NoIsE, YoU ShOuLd mAkE YoUr wAy tO GeT YoUr hAnG On aT My hIvE. We cOuLd sPlIt a tIn oF ThE PiMpEsT SnEeZe i gOt oN HaNd, BaKeD Up aLl sPeCiAl fOr yOu. AnD ThEn mAyBe mAkE OuT A LiTtLe. ;o)

[Sober] you really should kneel. I SAID. kneel motherfucker. I TOLD YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL, MOTHERFUCKER.

wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her. you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing, i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

no. please dont. look im bein serious here dont do this. [Drops accent] i wont even use my weird accent while i type ok so you know im bein really dead serious and honest about this

[No accent] i cannot. BELIEVE. you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me

)(oly mackerel, looks like SOM-EON-E woke up on t)(e wrong side of t)(e absurd )(uman bed!

GLUB! (whoops, i mean glub. oh gosh, it's my ancestor!) (i'm so nervous, i can't let her notice me. she's so unbubbleivably cool! *swoonami*)

[Breaking up with Eridan:] STOP!!!!!!!!!!! God. Will you just clam up for once in your life? Always carping and carping and carping! You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can. I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.

DIRK I WANT TO PLAY A GAME. DIRK. HELLO DIRK. LET'S PLAY A GAME. DIRK I DON'T THINK YOu uNDERSTAND. I WANT TO PLAY A FuCKING GAME WITH YOu. I WOuLD LIKE YOu TO DRAW ME SOME PORNOGRAPHY.

THANK YOU. YOUR HUMAN CONCEPT OF GAYNESS. ADEQUATELY DESCRIBES THE FEELINGS I HAVE. WHEN I EMBRACE MY PERFECT FLOPPY LITTLE MAN.

[To Calliope, gloating:] YOu BLOCKED ME AGAIN? YOu KNOW THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. ANYWAY. I'M HAPPY WE ARE IN AGREEMENT THAT I WON. YOu SHOuLDN'T uNDERESTIMATE ME. I'LL LEAVE YOu ALONE FOR A WHILE LIKE YOu WANT. BECAuSE REALLY. WHO CARES ABOuT YOu? BuT YOu SHOuLD BELIEVE ME. WHEN I TELL YOu. SOME DAY. I'M GOING TO KILL YOu IN YOuR SLEEP. MAYBE EVEN. MORE THAN ONCE.

[Trollsona]: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods. kisses!

[Trollsona, morose:] that is so kind of yoU to say. i can believe that a lovely person like yoU woUld be able to stop herself from recoiling at the sight of my monstroUs face. bUt it is oUt of the qUestion. i am mUch more comfortable appearing to yoU this way. really it has more to do with my own dissatisfaction with the way i look than any lack of trUst in yoUr character. yoU Understand, don't yoU?

[Cherub, after losing to Caliborn for the first time:] FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!! i don't know why i bothered hUmoUring yoUr vile Underhanded rUbbish! I HATE YOU. JUST SOD RIGHT OFF TO HELL, PLEASE.

I am right to be smug. I am omniscient, extremely powerful, and very charming.

[Creepy, but in the most straightfaced way possible:] Also, if you were millions of years old, you would find that nearly every lady you encounter is quite young, relatively speaking. There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures. In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.

I have never once failed to complete this objective, and I never will. There is nothing noble about taking a course of action you believe would prevent his arrival, because that is impossible. He will come. In fact, he is already here.

DAD: THESE MEN ARE LEADING YOU ASTRAY. SITTING ON THE HAT AGAIN WILL ONLY CAUSE IT FURTHER DAMAGE.

NANNA: A computer? Why, what is that, dear? Some new fangled contraption, like the horseless auto-boxcar? ... Hoo hoo hoo! Of course I know what a computer is, John! I was just pulling your leg! Hoo hoo hoo!

GRANDPA: Jade, study hard and keep your rifle at the ready. When adventure summons, I know you will rise to the task and take your rightful place among the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA.

==> Audition

==> Audition

HARRY: [Freaking out but in a totally cool awesome normal way] but my dad ISN'T cool!!! he just spent like an hour on driving me around in his car and talking about emotions and stuff. he's going through some kind of personal epiphany at the moment. he even shaved off his MUSTACHE before coming here. this is really serious, and now i'm implicated in it as well! he's going to absolutely flip his fucking lid if he ever finds out about this!! or worse, it might just make him as miserable as before, and he'll be really disappointed in me, and then he'll just leave again, or... or SOMETHING!!

VRISSY: This is Gr8. This is all Gr8! It's all Just GR8!!!!!!!! The Way she just cannon8alled into our lives out of nowhere was gr8. Killing that Clown? Without a Doubt the 8est thing I've ever Fucking Seen. Dragging his 8ody through Harry Anderson's school, 8eing drenched in W8ter, and Hiding in a Clos8t? The Picture of Gr8tness incarn8!!!!!!!!

TAVROS: Um,, Oh, Right, Yes, You should,,, probably come and take a look out the window, We appear to be in, If you'll pardon the expression,,, A bit of a fudging pickle,

==> Audition

*Say something you think would fit*

*Say something you think would fit*

*Say something you think would fit*

*Say something you think would fit*

*Say something you think would fit*