DUBStuck HIVESWAP/FRIENDSIM voice over (MSPA/Homestuck)

*Say something you think would fit*

*say anything you'd like in your narrator voice!*

NO PLANS ON LEAVING CURRENT LOCATION YARD COVERED IN CRYPTID VANGUARD over

YOUR BROTHER BELIEVES IN YOU AND KNOWS YOU CAN BE THE SERPENTS over

HAVE BEEN INFORMED MILDLY CONTENTIOUS BANTER CORNERSTONE OF SQUAD CAMARADERIE over

I'm not a 'rebel.' I'm just someone who thinks the current system could use a few more explosions.

This guy doesn't sound like he has a good sense of respect for bounderies and personal property

This is so awful! Why hasn't someone ALREADY put a stop to this?

Attention, subjects! It is I, your beautiful and benevolent Heiress! Please stop dying in ways that are boring. It’s bad for my brand.

If you're going to be a monster, at least be an aesthetically pleasing one.

You can't just go around befriending everyone you meet. That's how you get culled. Or worse, unfollowed.

My delicacy is extremely personal and private and I refuse to say anything more about that

What? and that's an excuse for shamelessly ogling?

This meat product is no one special, I mean, nothing special

Just because I clean load gapers doesn't mean you have to be obscene -_-

You see a lot of dirty gapers in scrub life, but this one actually has me pretty impressed -_-

it only seems simple to the simple minded. I'm just messing with you it's pretty simple. But i still won't stop without pretty good reason -_-

Why, a cull-pit of course. Didn't you see the sign? This is the Happy Absence Pit Park, Fozzer Velyes, Proprietor.

Good, because I don't believe in them. I'm a dialectical materialist. Well, if you're not a ghost, who are you?

Having a lot of dead clowns lying around rotting on the property is unpleasant, not to mention unsanitary. "Get them underground pronto!" is our motto here at the Happy Absence Pit Park

I want you to find the bandit's base of operations and I want you to take them out. Permanently and painfully

Well don't that just beat all? I know how lusii can get when their wigglers are in trouble. Real instincts on em'.

Oh, never mind that. I just got lusii on the thinkinpan. I ain't exactly runnin' on peak performance at the moment. Ya see, my lusii is real sick. I'm 'fraid she ain't gonna make it to then end of the journey

I'm Chixie! Chixie Roixmer, although I'm sure you already know that!

Come on! Let's commiserate! It's hard, you know? The music business, I mean, especially when you're starting out.

It was really nice of you to post about my EP on your blog! I got a lot of listens from that!

Too traverse the sky! Can such a thing be? Imagine flying within the confines of Alternia's atmosphere!

In truth the myriad temptations and desires of space do nothing to tickle my biscuit.

Don't get a fellow wrong, space travel is fine. Well, it's the only way to satisfy our bloodthirsty and nearly immortal overlords and I look forward to such a time when I can be of service.

Well do what you want but if you get involved I might have to get involved I might have to get involved and I'm not about that life. better not to risk it from someone who knows lmao.

What's up gamers. Just come over here I'm not tryna shout across the entire car.

Lol those two over there have been losin it for like the whole ride. You should just leave them alone

Yea, I got voidrot. My body doesn't retain the energy it needs to keep it powered on. So, I am slowly dying all the time without an external power source.

He means your ugly, but he might consider you for a concupiscent quadrant if everyone else were dead.

Thanks for talking about our relationship and making it sound as disgusting as possible. Just between us girls, you know what they say about boys. They are only good for one thing, living off until they leave you for some seadweller in space who will wrap him in her cybernetic tentacles and use him to power her fleet.

tfw i see two prime targets for mighty Trizze's cullfield standing on this train full of normies!

LOL, we're as pale as the drip from a musclebeast teat rusty

for now LOL! Going off world in a few sweeps! be me, 9 sweeps helmsmen in the imperial battleship!

I've told you over and over, Konyyl, it was NOT a cull-job. You knew that. Tch, at least one of us is professional. I'm talking about me, I'm the professional.

What is this, some kind of solicitation? Pathetic. My Matesprit and I have better arguments to have then the likes of you.

You presume to know me? Don't make me laugh. We all know you're the lowest of the low. Not everyone was born with the unique talents to rise beyond the station of their own caste. To become something more.

Auurrghh! if it weren't for you trying to SHOW OFF I would have clawed him APART!

WHO CARES? You wasted our time with your stupid DORKY SPEECH! Not every fight needs a 13-minute LEAD UP.

RGGHHH... that little twerp must have been CHEATING. I'll kick his ASS. Rghhh... I hate seeing you like THIS... If i hadn't been flipping out on YOU... it would have never... I'm sorry, Azdaja

psst, do I know you? I was informed there would be an asset on this train. call me boldir, psst is that a codename or caste name?

did they send you here to meet me? psst, it's alright, i'm clean. but i understand your caution. there are eyes and ears everywhere and it would be better to downplay our connection.

understandable, apologies but it would be foolhardy to the extreme to get involved with the likes of them.

Look at those two, unbelievably unprofessional. Airing out their issues, committing all these violent acts out in the open for free where anyone can see.

Some of us need to make a living. Anyways call me Polypa, whats the job?

Hmmmm I could take an oliveblood down but the psychic is gonna be a problem. I'll take the job provided you find a way to distract him.

I'm great! Just going on a journey of the imagination through some classic literature!

It's a convention for all kinds of cool stuff, but I wanna go for the Soldiers Purrbeasts meet up! My fanfiction is pretty popular!

I only have one person to play with here, and he usually pretends he's too cool, like he doesn't absolutely looovvveeee purrbeast caste drama

This is where the magic happens. And by that, I mean the continuation of our species. Jadebloods like myself are entrusted with looking after this process, which of course a very special job!

Daraya, please just tell us what happened to the book. If you say you're innocent, I promise to believe you. But you have to say something.

Please, Miss, I would like to try to keep this issue internal, if you don't mind.

We are calm. The only one pitching a fit here is Lynera. As usual.

Lynera's ignorance of gashes is, as always, what's caused this entire mess.

Are you perhaps trying to fuck with me?

I should've known the second we were out of the cave you'd try and get me thrown off the train you backstabbing little bitch

I don't have to say shit about shit. I'm not dignifying anything that comes out of that brown nosers pathetic ignorant gash

That's it I'm out. Don't talk to me unless you got something to say to my face this time.

It's not just any book. The rainbow hemotions saga is a profane set of religious texts that our cloister has been charged with protecting!

Why so you can defile it more? Too bad! The thief already tore out all the naughty pages!

No! I'm sick of this! As jades we have a duty to preserve the culture of Alternia and pass it on to the next generation! Bronya understands the importance of this scared calling!

Most of it is law related of course but there's are a couple semi related fields for the go getters looking to do something a little different like me!

Surely a brilliant mind like Miss Kasund is doing some real important work here is what I bet you're thing and you are absolutely correct my friend!

Check it out, check it out! They're a little corny but I know Trizzas gonna love them! She's a real sucker for this kind of thing!

I can't believe she thought I'd ever be dumb enough to keep my incriminating documents in my office. She must be getting real desperate to prove herself

Everyone is trying to climb over each other out of the muck and pull the rest down, like shellscuttlers in a seafood storage device.

There's just... so much... injustice...

Have you contacted your personal legislacerator? If not, I'd like to offer my services. My name is Tagora Gorjek, but please, call me Gor-Gor. I'm here for you. For a nominal fee, of course.

There we go. That one hurt, didn't it? Definitely a case of columnsnap, which will get us a decently hefty restitution.

Of course, you will need to front the initial legislaceration costs. We may also have to injure you further to ensure our case is convincing, but you've got to break a few cluckbeast embryos to make a grublette, as you well know.

Trolls running around not knowing which way is up doing whatever they please no one to tell them what their place in the world is!

My dear Zizi isn't one for involved beauty rituals. She usually doesn't let me do more than just brush it but it's still relaxing!

Tyzias and myself are both law abiding subjects of the empire!

Since you're a newcomer, it might be best to not jump into the middle of last bout's series, Philosopher Half-Iorn

You're clearly new to this planet. I feel... pity, for your naivete. But I should have just killed him. Death is the legally prescribed punishment for crimes such as his.

These hands must remain steady and true. Though I feel a pull towards the scorching fangs of the light, I must continue my path and remain in the tender, righteous embrace of the dark.

My point is, artistic integrity is for chumps. If you really wanna get ahead in this world, give people what they want first.

All the characters I draw and profit from are entirely original, and Trident Media and their legislacerators are just made about it because the whole internet knows my story lines are better then the source material.

I don't love clowns or gore as much as it may seem. That's just what I have for sale here. If you look at my work online, you'll see more of the full range of my art.

As if, sure cerulean is blue but barely. Every Indigo you meet is gonna make sure you know it.

I'm not so fucking myopic to think I don't have it better than a lot of trolls, and I'm not one of those bulgebiters who wank off about the sanctity of the blood, and how lowbloods deserve what they get.

In retrospective it is pretty fucking stupid to assume a robot is going to solve my problems.

You're trying sooo hard to make it seem like you're over me which just shows that you aren't.

uuuughhhhh. UGHHHH. This is SOOOOOO annoying. I'm sorry but like. There's just this thing I have to deal with I guess

God I'd die if she looked at me that way lmao. I wish I was that mic stand haha

Hold on, before you start, this will make for excellent content. My fans will appreciate this.

Sometimes I wonder. Am I even that GOOD at being sinister? Could I be more sinister, if I tried harder. But what would happen if I changed my brand? If I stopped being sinister online? My friends and followers will deride and reject me.

Dear god, and just what are you supposed to be?

I'm really good at all the other parts! The materials and studio! I even make all my own paints! I just can never do the actual sitting down and doing art part!

Forget it! I don't want to hear your excuses! Chahut was right! If you want someone killed right, you have to kill them yourselves!

I'm just not a real painter! There, I said it!

There is absolutely nothing. I have read all kinds of reports on other alien races, of course. I can pull those off for you if you would like. As for your species, I can confidently say there is no recorded history of your kind on Alternia.

What? Of course you can leave. Just because I am a highblood does not mean I am a fucking sadist. My interest in you is purely academic and friendly

If that were true, why would you spend this entire visit acting like a fresh hatched idiot? At this point I have to conclude that you are mocking me and my genuine interest in you. There is no other explanation for your behavior

People don't realize how tough it is to be a highblood troll who believes in social justice. Seriously, I face my own kind of oppression for speaking out and being an activist for lowblood rights. For one thing, I never get the conciliation or concupiscence I deserve. My quadrants always go unfilled because no one else agrees with my radical views.

You probably deserve whatever shitty position you have in society, unlike me! I deserve to have a nice house and lowblood servants and full quadrants for being such a good activist, okay?!

Oh no, definitely not. If I were to warn any of these lowbloods that a culling was coming, that could mean risking my life too.

You expect me... ME... to perform with THIS!

THE NOBLER HUE OF THE HEMOSPECTRUM PREVEILS AGAIN!

You are no mere workout partner... You... are a workout FRIEND! Join me, sister, and together we shall ASCEND TO TUMESCENT HIGHTS.

HONK :0)

Honk?

HONK!

Depending on how you look at it every branch in the timeline be fundamental to da metatextual structure da essence of existence itself.

Yo wazzup buddies. Aye no need to stop on my account diggy dogs.

Nah bud you don't need any fancy schoolin'. Your more than equipped to do just da way you are :O)

Considering what you were gettin' up to the first time you and I got to jawin... rippin heads off and all

To praise the mirthful ones is a privilege and revelation... my pusher beats for them.

For today I looked up towards the mountain and saw the fire in the sky... That fire is our messiahs and our messiahs are the fire, feedin a hungry forge in the belly of hell. That sweet salvation of split bone and sulfer-colored eyes

we want to play a game!

we were gonna be a single troll, but

we do share a lusus

WE WANT TO PLAY A GAME!

WE SPILT IN TWO!

WE SHARE EVERYTHING

Come meet up with me on my #island and I'll tell you all about it. #JeevikWeek.

Feel free to leave me a comment and I'll reply as soon as I can. =D

Buuuuuut, the tl;dr is... If you don't go back through the return portal in 11 days, both Earth and Alternia will be destroyed~!