The Ice Cream Crisis
Project Overview
"Nobody Asked Me" is a dark comedy audio fiction series from Scripted Silhouettes. Episode 1, Butter Pecan: a man's life falls apart after his favorite ice cream flavor is discontinued. It's narrated by a dry, exhausted British voice who can't be heard by anyone in the story and has spent six days trying to keep this man alive anyway. It's funny for most of its twenty minutes and it isn't at the end.
Written by Diane Black. Scripted Silhouettes publishes on Spotify, YouTube, and Patreon; previous episodes Love of Death and Donations are up now if you want to hear the house style.
Why audition: this is a real, paid, finished script with a cast of five and a second episode already planned, so whoever lands Tony or the Narrator has more work coming. The Narrator is a lead with a genuine arc, not a voiceover gig. Actors get credit and a link to their page in every episode description.
How it works: remote. Record from home and send files; two scenes may be recorded live over Riverside so the actors can play off each other. Recording within two weeks of casting.
Rights: by accepting a role you agree the recording may be used on Spotify, YouTube, and Patreon, including behind-the-scenes and outtake material on Patreon.
Voice Actor
Male, 35–60, British. Dry, exhausted, sarcastic, quietly desperate underneath. He's been trying to keep Carlo alive for six days, and nobody can hear him. A tired documentary voice who has stopped being polite.
- english
- british
- male senior
- male adult
Six days ago, Carlo discovered his favorite ice cream flavor had been discontinued. To many, that may not seem like a crisis. To Carlo, it took on a different meaning. Now here we are. Well, him. Carlo. Standing on the edge of one of the highest buildings in the city, ready to jump. Four underwhelming crises later, and all of my attempts to keep him alive have exhausted me.
(curious whisper)- I stopped talking here. Not because I was being kind. I just wanted to see how far this went.
(Quite, empathic. you feel sorry for Carlo) I sat with him. He didn't know. I said things. He didn't hear them. By day three, I'd stopped saying things.
Voice Actor
Male, mid-20s, American. Ordinary, agreeable, has never had a strong opinion in his life. Goes from mildly confused to full panic to very quiet.
- male young adult
- male adult
- american
"What do you mean, how... how do I know?" (internal, spiraling) How do I know? Did I pick the flavor myself? Was it just there, and nothing else available? Nobody ever asked me to try another flavor.
"What exactly should I try?" (panicked) "I've only ever known Brown Butter Candied Pecan!"
(quiet, wrecked. He's alone in his bathroom, and he's just remembered the one thing that was ever his. Not shouted.)- "But the blue one was mine, Mom."
Voice Actor
Male, 25–45, American. Warm, plain, a little goofy. Not wise, not a therapist, just a guy who cares and is always eating something.
- english
- male adult
- american
( careful, you're trying to convince Carlo to come off the ledge) - "Just talk to me, please. I know I'm just some guy. I still care, though."
(no answer; he tries something else. more relaxed) "Well... do you want the rest of what's in my bakery bag? I normally just point at whatever's behind the counter. I never really think about it."
(walking past, not stopping. Calm, almost gentle, like he's telling someone their shoe's untied.) "You can stop shouting." (beat) "I heard you the first time."
Voice Actor
Female, 50s–60s, American. Cheerful, chatty, loves her son, has no idea she's saying anything hurtful.
- english
- female senior
- female adult
- american
(cheerful, chatty, telling a cute story) "Oh, sweetie, that was your older brother's favorite flavor. I think he likes that brownie swirl now. And your favorite coffee? Oh, it's the one you heard Aunt Liz order one summer. You picked it and just ran with it. Oddly enough, that was her summer order. You know she drinks pumpkin spice everything in the fall. Poor woman's gonna turn into a pumpkin one fall, I swear."
(same warmth. She has no idea this is the worst thing she's ever said to him. Stay chatty and cheerful) "Whoever was nearest to you at the time, you just kinda went along with what they did. You just never complained. Honestly, you were my easiest child." Line 3
(flashback, hurried) "Son, just use mine, we have to leave in fifteen minutes. (beat) Carlo, please just use the other one."
Voice Actor
Female, late teens–20s, American. Bright, professional, accidentally asks the question that ruins a man's life.
- english
- female young adult
- american
playful) "Well, you said it was the only flavor you ever tried. So if you never tried anything else, how do you truly know butter pecan is your favorite?"
(concerned now) "Are you okay?" (running out from behind the counter) "Sir, do you need help? Do you want me to call for help?"
Voice Actor
Carlo's best friend. Loud, bubbly, affectionate, and a little bossy. She means well, but she talks over people, rummages through your fridge uninvited, and tells you to "be your own person" while pushing her own taste on you in the same breath. Think warm chaos.
- english
- female young adult
(Through the door. Worried but still upbeat, knocking. She's more "where have you been, weirdo" than scared.) "Hey, Carlo, are you in there? It's been days, and no one has heard from you." (Door opens. Instantly bright and bubbly, genuinely thrilled to see him. She talks fast and doesn't wait for answers. The coffee line is a proud little "ta-da!") "Hey dude, how have you been? Where have you been? Oh, and before I forget, I brought your favorite coffee!"
Casual and chatty, mid-sip. Teasing, like she's pointing out a funny quirk she's noticed for years. Take a small comedic pause on "alien... invasion," like she's searching for the right words.) "And I know you love those types of movies. Which is weird, because you hate alien... invasion movies, which is like eighty-five percent of sci-fi." (Playful and bossy. "Be your own person" is sincere, friendly advice, and then she immediately pushes her own taste without noticing the irony. Don't wink at the joke; she's completely oblivious.) "So why do you like sci-fi then? Be your own person, Carlo. Plus, horror is where it's at."
(Affectionate eye-roll on "you always say that," amused, not annoyed. Then big, loud, happy goodbye. Go all in on the kisses.) "You always say that. Okay, well, I'll call you later. KISSES! MUAH, MUAH!"
Voice Actor
Male, 40s–50s, American. One line, two sentences, five minutes of your time. Gentle and warm; he's helping his son, and he has no idea this is the most important moment of the kid's life. Credit and a link in the episode description, like everyone else.
- english
- male senior
- male adult
(memory; gentle, unhurried, the calmest voice in the house) - "Come on, Carlo, I'll help you."
(softly, walking him to the bathroom) -"Here, use this one. It's my favorite."
Audio Engineer
Scripted Silhouettes is an indie audio fiction series. Episode 1 of Nobody Asked Me is a dark comedy about a man whose life falls apart after his favorite ice cream flavor is discontinued, narrated by a British voice nobody in the story can hear.
What I'll send you: a finished dialogue edit, each character on their own track, plus a cue sheet with timestamps for every sound.
What I need:
Ambience: rooftop wind, ice cream shop (door bell, cooler hum), city park, quiet apartment, a bathroom flashback
Spot effects: a chair and table going down, a knock, a door, a phone
A phone filter on one character during a call
Two lines that fade out under the narrator
Five seconds of wind and silence at the very end. Please don't trim it.
Final mix: WAV and MP3, about -16 LUFS for podcast
Restraint over spectacle. The narrator is the show; the sound just tells you where he is.
Pay: $70 flat, paid on delivery, plus credit and a link in every episode description. More episodes coming if it's a fit.
To apply: send one audio drama or podcast you've mixed, and tell me in two sentences what you added and what you left out.
- english
*Say something you think would fit*
Comments
Public Submissions
