Emperor Pigs: Pizza and Cigs (Casting for Episodes 1-6)
Project Overview
Last Updated: 1/13/19
Use this link for the master Google Docs document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lS91aUBiCY8TEehI4Q2cRq15pDza1jj4jDhyKJ1ayy8/edit?usp=sharing
Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/EmperorPigs
And Facebook: https://fb.me/EmperorPigs
Postal Roach Audio is casting for our debut audio drama, Emperor Pigs! The show follows a group of supernatural beings who operate a restaurant/head shop called Emperor Pigs, Pizza and Cigs. We are currently wrapping up the scripts for season 1, and will definitely have many more roles to fill in the coming months.
Here’s our first teaser promo: https://youtu.be/vJiB13l_Xls
Content Warning: Emperor Pigs contains mature themes, foul language, and regularly explores controversial topics in non-traditional ways. You must be at least 18 years of age to contribute.
In addition to actors, we are looking for writers, audio editors, sound effect creators, musicians, and artists. Please reach out to Persephone at [redacted] if you are interested in helping us in any of these areas.
Emperor Pigs will be a commercial audio drama. We are still working out the details, but we plan to launch on multiple streaming services as well as selling episodes a la carte.
Compensation will be in the form of revenue share, to be paid monthly via PayPal. These payments will begin as soon as we start earning and will continue for no less than 7 years from the bundle release of “the complete first season.”
Everyone working on Emperor Pigs will receive detailed earning statements that include sales data.
Subject to change before production begins, this is currently what we’re picturing for revenue share percentages, per season:
Split between Actors
43%
Split between Audio Editors
22%
Split between Writers
14%
Original Music
14%
Split for Incidentals (sfx, art, distribution, web-hosting advertising, etc)
6%
Pot
1%
Amended: We’ve removed the “director” role to increase revenue share percentages for Actors and Editors. Persephone Rose, our showrunner, will be covering directorial duties. We've also adjusted the percentages to increase the earning rate for original music composers.
Please note that the “pot” will be a monthly pooling of 1% contributions from each Postal Roach project that will be evenly distributed amongst each person who contributed to a Postal Roach project that month. As we grow and begin taking on more projects, this will make more sense and hopefully be a nice incentive to work with us.
We are currently aiming for three seasons, but if things go well, there’s no reason we have to stop there.
What follows are open voice acting roles for Emperor Pigs. Please record separate .wav files for each character you are interested in auditioning for, using this naming convention: “CharacterName_YourName.wav” and email them to [redacted] with the subject line “Emperor Pigs Audition.”
Amended: Some folks have let me know that .wav files are too large for their email servers and have asked to send .mp3s instead. For auditioning purposes, .mp3s are absolutely acceptable. If you are still having trouble sending in your auditions, reach out to [redacted] and we will find a way to make it work!
Alternatively, you can upload your auditions to the Casting Call Club via this link:
https://www.castingcall.club/projects/emperor-pigs-pizza-and-cigs
Please include three or four takes per line.
If you do not receive a “Thank you for your audition” notice within 48hrs, please submit it again, because we likely didn’t receive it!
A note on gender/accents -- the “female” and “male” roles below refer only to the gender identity of the character and how they are referred to and acknowledged by others in the script. Likewise, unless an accent is explicitly specified, we are open to hearing anything. The world where our show takes place is not our Earth as we know it, but it is a very diverse place called Roachia. Feel free to mix things up. We might like it.
The deadline for this audition is 1/31/2019. We are not able or willing to cast any of these roles before that date.
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Latest Updates
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Hello! Thank you so much to everyone who submitted auditions for Emperor Pigs! Please find below the official Cast List for the first 6 episodes. We honestly did not expect the turnout we received and we are truly, truly, humbled by the enthusiasm and support you have shown us. You all have so many, absolutely remarkable voices, that it was sincerely difficult to choose only 43 out of the 500+ incredible auditions we received. If you didn’t snag a role this time around, we hope you’ll still follow the show and hang around for our next casting call on Feburary 19th, which will be posted directly to EmperorPigs.com and PostalRoach.com rather than some of the other venues where you may have found our first casting call! If you don’t want to miss future auditions from us, you can join the Public Postal Roach List-serv here: https://groups.google.com/d/forum/postal-roach And our community Discord as well: https://discord.gg/B3EzzVY If you’d like to follow Emperor Pigs on Social Media, we’re here: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EmperorPigs/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EmperorPigs Once more, thank you so much for your interest in our project, and we wish you all the best in everything you do. -Persephone Rose, Executive Producer for PostalRoach.com Appetizers (small roles, huge flavors) The Androgyne……………….………..…………….Katie Otten ARPD Cop #1………………….………...….….Veronica Pierce ARPD Cop #2……………………..………………..….Skyler Yuda ARPD Dispatcher………………....……... Maria Micklasavage Camel Wrangler…………………..……..……………...… Kuren K. Carl………………………………….……...………...……….Dirk Allie Devon……………………………......……….…….NUCLEARpaste Gary……………………………….....……………..………… Jei Evans Guy Breezer…………………...………….…...…..…...Paul Hikari Human Cop #1……………..………………..Darren Freeman Human Cop #2……………..……….………...Conrad Audette Jack…………………………..……..……….....Mike Trentacosta Kid #1…………………………..….……………..….Michael Mola Kid #2………………………….………..…………..……..Ryan Day Medical Technician…….……………....…..Nick Armstrong Polite Customer………...……..…...…..Jenna Birmingham Receptionist………….………….…..…...…….Jean Rosolino Some Dude…………...………………………....Timmy D Tran Sue-Happy Type……………………..…..Kassandra Cherry Villager #1…………………………….……..….Vincent Fabbri Villager #2……………………………...……….…..Juwan Royal Villager #3………………………………...………….….ToastChi Waiter………………………………………...…………...Kayla Ott Woman From Across Street….Felicia Elfström Hidén Pizza of the Day (Recurring Roles) Akiko……………………………………………..…………Terra Alberta………………………………...…………….…….Lexi Ly “The Bobinator”........................................Lindz Steindler Dr. James Singer………………………….…...Dave Mciver Hank………………………………………..…...Ken Marsiglia Lord Holgar……………………………….….Grant Patrizio Iblis…………………....……...Kristington Jeanne Plotkin Jaguar Travis…………………………………….....Gary Scales Jared……………………………………………….…..Poppletron The Jock………………………………………..…….Jordan Bonn Lily……………………………………………...Brooke Goodman Molderfootis…………………………...Paul 'Kalaan' Cotton Roxana Ellsworth……...Gwendolyn Jensen-Woordard SOFI………………………………..…...Ariel Marie Highwind Von Hulle……………………………………...…...Gaius Terrán Wendy McConnell……………………………………………...Jali Classic Entrées (Main Cast) Fernod…………………………..………….Persephone Rose Gordon…………………………...…………… Carlos Ortega Jr Kaelyn “K.T.” Thorburn……………...……… Jordyn Oran Maggie……………………………………….……...Jessica Rose Peter……………………………………….….Alexander Doddy Rove………………………………….……...…..Sarah McManus
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Emperor Pigs Update
Hey folks! Thank you so much to everyone who has auditioned so far. We are having an absolute blast listening to your interpretations of our characters! There is so much great talent here and I just know this is going to be an incredible show once it all starts coming together. If you haven’t already, please feel free to join the discussion on our Discord— https://discord.gg/FghvZ7K Also, thank you to everyone who has applied for writing positions and sent in their wonderful samples! We're going to temporarily stop accepting writer applications until we begin production on season 2. We only have 13 episodes for the first season, but we're hoping to reach for 22-24 for season 2 onwards, so, if you didn't get a writing spot this time around, there will be many more opportunities to come!
An older, wiser werewolf. Rove can usually keep things under control. She is cool, calm, and collected. She wants to act as a sort of mentor to Maggie, a newer wolf.
(Quietly, to Fernod:) Behave yourself, you bloody imp. (To Maggie:) Pleased to meet you, Maggie. I'm Rove, and my... Apparently thirsty... colleague here is Fernod.
It's going to be okay, Magz. I'll help you get through this. Listen, Gordon's going to have to close up shop for a week or so until this all blows over. We usually head out to The Mullet Man for drinks after work, and it looks like we'll be going in a little early today. Why don't you come along and we can get to know you better? First round's on me.
(Narrating) A click of a button and I was back in my car, belly protruding with chunks of werewolf hunter and friends. I'll never understand why Gordon gave the stupid reality shifting device to Peter instead of me. Especially after all we've been through together. Especially when he knows I have needs. Well moot point now, I suppose.
A young, hip, stoner.
Hey, G-Man! You got any new bud flavors?
What’s your beef, man?
Akiko is a manipulative and creative sort who loves guilt trips and promiscuity. She begins as a minor character but has an important arc long term.
Um, excuse me... Are you guys hiring?
Isn't there, I don't know, an assistant hiring manager I can talk to, or somebody in legal? I'd really like to get started as soon as possible.
A witch, also Fernod’s clingy and slightly mental ex girlfriend; pregnant with his son, Kobe.
(squealing with excitement) Mustela! I just knew you'd come back for me.
This is just wonderful! I'm so, so happy to see you! I have wonderful news, Mustela! We're going to have a baby!
Politician campaigning for Governor. Minor role to start off with, but will become more prominent later on in the show.
May I post this on your bulletin board? I'm campaigning for Governor. Wendy McConnell.
Thanks a bunches!
Fernod’s mother, a half devil.
Mustela, baby, I heard you were having an abortion today!
Mustela, why are you feeding from this human harlot? I am your true mother. Unlatch this instant and suck my tit before all those carbohydrates poison you! But-- oh!
This is not my child. The body is here, yes, but the mind. What have you done? Oh-- oh, no. No, you wouldn't. You terrible, terrible--
This should be a fun one. This is an angry foreign lady who pretty much just shouts in a foreign language. This can be a real language or fictional, as long as it sounds good.
(Yell angrily in foreign language)
(Trying to reason with someone in foreign language)
(Crying and pleading in foreign language)
Peter is a gorgon and the head chef at Emperor Pigs. He hides his head of snakes in a tightly wrapped turban. Anyone who sees the snakes on his head is turned into stone. He has lived a hard life, growing up in a foster system, and accidentally turning so many people into stone has made him a bit emotionally unstable, though he can appear well rounded. He was captured, tortured, and used by the U.S. Government who were seeking ways to militarize his ability.
I swear, Fernod, I will end you.
(telling a story from his youth:) ...As I picked myself up off the ground, my turban slipped, and she saw my snakes. I guess it was all for the best, though. When the school was finally able to arrange a substitute, there wasn't enough time left in the year for him to administer the quiz.
(narrating) Seeing that face reminded me of when I had worn it myself, the pain, the suffering, the thing I had wanted most in the world. I followed the young werewolf and placed a hand firmly on her shoulder before she reached the door.
The store manager. Gordon is kind, understanding, and mysterious.
Okay, I need you to be completely honest with this next question. Why did you leave your last job?
Maggie, it's all right. You're not in trouble. Believe it or not, we've dealt with worse situations around here. We've all got something we're dealing with here, and sometimes things get rough. We just have to push through and try our best. Fernod is one quarter devil, I've been fruitlessly trying to get him to stop making deals with customers.
(narrating) As the young werewolf's tears dampened my favorite suede jacket, I caught my mind drifting to a time when I was her age and in a way not much unlike her. Resisting the urge to dwell and dawdle, I sent Maggie back to Emperor Pigs and set about cleaning up the crime scene. As I had told Peter, it was Rove's third bite day all over again. The mix of saliva and blood smelled just as putrid, the giblets and bone shards were just as irritatingly elusive, and the fur once again insisted on floating into my nostrils. The police showed up. I had to try to explain the blood stains on the asphalt, and I ended up paying them off to look the other way. Typical human cops.
After Roachian earth deity The Great Logan met his demise, his spirit sought a new host to enable his return to power. The search was exhaustive, but he finally chose an Enlightened One named Holden. Unfortunately, during the possession attempt, his will was thwarted by another, and the two fused into an entirely new being, the demonic Lord Holgar. A winged demon, he is dramatic and evil, but also stupid. Mostly complains about "poor customer service" and thrives on causing problems because he is too weak and low on the demon chain to wreak havoc anywhere other than at restaurants.
(Booming voice, arriving unannounced by portal) I want six pizzas topped with freshly sacrificed goat…
(Grumbling as he gets up from the floor) Of all the terrible customer service atrocities I have received at this little shithole of a pizza shop. This... Is the worst.
(Threatening) Oh, come now, bitch-pup, don't make this harder than it has to be. You (pause) For Gordon. The store reopens and it's happily ever after. Except, of course, for you. Look, I'm not an unreasonable demon. I'll give you some time to think it over... Say, twenty-four hours?
I don't know how you can stand that woman, I mean, she actually wants to abolish slavery!
A delivery driver who is turned to stone in the first episode.
Hey Fernod, Rove. How's it going?
(shriek in terror)
Now, you wait just a darn tootin' minute. You are definitely over-charging me, it's never that expensive!
I will tell you my beef. My beef is insolent, privileged, youth like you cutting the line and behaving like--
Owner/Proprietor of “Hank’s Guns and Ammo.” Tough guy.
All right, that's two glocks and a 40 ounce, and just so we're clear no vapor, because we don't sell that.
Hello there! Welcome to Hank's Guns and Ammo. Can I help you find anything today? I've just got a new shipment of Gator brand sniper rifles, and the best hard liquor collection this side of Loghino. But no vapor, so don't even ask. What are you in the mood for?
(sales pitch for a microwavable burrito as a weapon) A well placed blow to the temples, a quick hard jab at the jugular-- these'll get the job done. But if you like taking your time-- And you strike me as a man who likes taking his time… Pop this baby in the microwave for a couple minutes. I like to use this time to build up tension and really make my target squirm.
Enigmatic, dark, hooded figure type. A small role that will grow as the show progresses.
Thanks, Hank.
You are worthless scum, fit only for use in leyak facials.
A happy-go-lucky dude, very enthusiastic, also very clueless, also very useless.
That's me, sir! The Bobinator, at your service!
Bouncer? No, sir! I'm a Protector.
But I can't guard the entrance from inside the store.
A Legendary Werewolf Hunter, super badass. Minor role now, will grow as the show progresses.
Get me my silver bullet gun. Now!!
Christ Robert, do I have to do everything on my own here?
Now you stay back, beast!
An officer of the Alternative Realities Police Department, specializing in matters concerning illegal travel and trafficking between dimensions.
It's just a formality. Rove, is it? Come on back.
Let me cut to the chase, Rove. You are under arrest on cross dimensional terrorism charges. We have extensive evidence linking you to massacres in a least six distinct universes. You're going away for a long, long time. Longer, if you hold up the investigation. So, the Multiphasic Transdimensional Matter Import/Exporter. Where did you get it?
A key player in an inter-dimensional smuggling ring. Speaks with a stutter.
N-n-n-no. I'm a sm-sm-smuggler. But a g-good one. I-I mean, I sm-smuggle for g-good r-r-reasons.
Th-th-the village to the s-south. The ch-ch-children. Th-they would all st-st-starve. I only t-t-take from d-d-d-dimensions with high w-w-w-waste. So they w-w-won't m-miss it.
Le-let me help you with those cuffs. I n-need to get these cr-crates to the village s-s-soon. I'm b-behind sch-schedule. Would you he-help me?
A smuggler, very sketchy, travels with camels.
My friend! Ah, and my friend's new-- very attractive-- lady friend.
Well, well. Only six crates, Guy? The kids will be disappointed. You'll understand, of course, if we can only provide half of our agreed upon payment?
Guy, guy. Please, don't embarrass yourself. We quite clearly ordered twelve. It's okay, so you forgot, no big deal. We half our payment for half the delivery and no love lost? Cool?
Jared believes himself to be a wolf trapped in a human body. He works as a Courier Wolf (A mail service run by werewolves), where his coworkers do not realize he is actually human.
(PANTING HEAVILY, LIKE A DOG, AND MUFFLED BECAUSE HE IS HOLDING A LETTER IN HIS MOUTH) I have a letter for-- (REMOVING THE LETTER FROM HIS MOUTH, HE SPEAKS CLEARLY:) Sorry, I have a letter for Fernod.
Pardon me, ma'am, I'm Jared. Carrier Wolf. (AWKWARD FORCED DOG BARK).
(DOG-LIKE WHIMPER) Well, I-- I am a wolf. I'm just-- trapped-- in a human body. I'm saving up to pay for a bite, though. I'll be a real wolf soon!
This is a guy from an online classified ad who is selling some antique furniture.
Ah, that is a traditional Etlarian ceremonial vase, used to house wine, I think, during special ceremonies
I don’t know, brah, she gets like that sometimes.
(YELLING AT WOMAN ACROSS STREET) SHUT THE HELL UP!
Yeah, but, she's a real freak between the sheets. Makes it all worthwhile.
An almost bizarrely super friendly customer, overly nice. Could be a confused grandmother, but I’m open to your interpretations.
Ohh, Maggie. What a beautiful name! I once knew a buffalo named Maggie.
Well, I was walking by, and the aroma of your little shop caught my nose like a worm would a baby fishie. I just had to stop in! What would you recommend, Maggie?
Works The Mullet Man (a pub).
All right! A pitcher of our finest ale. Anything else I can get you guys this afternoon?
Great! Let me know.
Okay, great. I'll give him a page.
Well fuck you too, bro!
Another difficult customer.
I'm not a guy!
I'm not that either!
You're seriously going to leave me here all triggered like this?
Get your hand off of me, you pervert!
Did you all see him assault me? I have witnesses! You'll be hearing from my lawyer!
Smartphone AI Voice (think SIRI/Alexa/Okay Google)
Calling Rove.
You have 666 voicemail messages.
You have one sacrifice today.
The way I see it, they were basically dead anyway, right?
(coyly, accepting bribe) Let what happen again?
Please, no-- No! (scream as you are eaten by a werewolf)
I offer this baby in my place! Just spare me, I beg you!
THE Von Houlle? Legendary werewolf hunter Von Houlle?!
(gasps) It's Von Houlle!
Please fill this out, and someone will be with you shortly.
Please fill out the form and return the clipboard to me.
(OVER RADIO) All available T.C. Units, we have a possible 10-30 in progress in the anatinus dimension. Repeat 10-30 anatinus dimension. Over.
(OVER RADIO) 10-4, dispatch, uh, a bit tied up at the moment. I just ordered a mocha and the service here is kinda slow. Over.
(OVER RADIO) Yo, 13-37, that you, bro? Over.
(OVER RADIO) Fast Patties on fifth. Over.
(OVER RADIO) 10-1, dispatch. 10-09, over.
(OVER RADIO) 10-2. 4-20, what's up dog? Where you at? Over.
(OVER RADIO) 10-4, en route. Get me a number 10 and a 4 Piece nuggets. Over.
The camel man is here! The camel man is here!
Oh, me! Me! Me! Me! Take my dollar, mister camel man!
Give me a dollar for the camel man, please, mom, please!
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