Commercials and Program clips (Background Audio Froth)
Project Overview
A set of fictional advertisements and TV programs meant to act as background 'audio froth' for another audio project I'm working on. This project consists of 10 commercials and 3 snippets of programs meant to play in the background. When the final project is fully edited and completed, you will be credited. The content in this project is meant to be a parody, nothing serious.
Take a look at the script to see if any of the roles appeal to you: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zy2gkDJODIxYi4vWKY77_-ePK3x7EkSFtuyjS8fcxXE/edit
When auditioning, be sure to leave your means of communication.
When you are logged in, you can comment, add submissions, create projects, upvote, search open roles, and way more. Login here.
Part of Commercial 1. A noncorporal voice that advertises totally health-inspected Chappy steak patties. Dry witted and blunt.
- male adult
- female adult
Looking to keep that special someone in your life? Well, get some Chappy steaks you idiots! Chappy steaks are made with the best parts of the butchered animals you gladly chow down despite the underlying health risks. Do you want to end up like this unhappy camper?
Well get some Chappy steaks at your local market today to not be a deadbeat like this schmuck
You pussy...
A part of Commercial 1. When her husband fumbles the bag on lunch while out camping, she tells like it is.
- female adult
- female young adult
(Awe) My my, what a sight!
Oh dear. Honey, I hope you brought our lunch. I’m famished.
...I want a divorce.
Part of Commercial 1. A lackluster husband whose poor judgment leads him down a spontaneous downward spiral!
- male young adult
- male adult
Yup. She’s a beaut.
Don’t worry, sweetie. I brought some baked beans.
(Stunned) W-What? Why?!
Part of Commercial 2 and Program 1. An intangible voice that presents themselves with a deep and smooth voice.
- female adult
- epic trailer voiceover
- male adult
On the season finale of Princes at Peril…
Tune in tonight for the season finale of Princes at Peril. Begins at 8:30 PM Eastern time—Grown-Up streaming.
We now return to the Posh and the Prudes…
Part of Commercial 2. The main antagonist featured in TV show promotion partaking in usual antagonistic shenanigans. Brassy and snide in demeanor.
- male adult
- evil villain
(Screaming) I’ll save you the trouble! This last gift is a real blast!
(Dryly) Oh really now? *scoffs* I’d like to see you try, Pup.
*snarls*
Part of Commercial 2. Acts as one of the core protagonists of the TV show promo. Dramatically hammy in personality and presentation through and through. Refer to teledrama or anime as reference material.
- male young adult
*gasps*
(Dramatic) Today you die to my blade. For I shall avenge my father, King Rico Mombasa V.
*grunts*
Part of Commercial 2. A supporting character of the TV show promo. Has few lines but makes up for it by chewing up the scenery.
- androgynous
- female adult
(Screaming) It’s a bomb!
*whimpering*
Part of Commercial 2. Prince Rico's best friend who has not much of anything to say. Just as dramatic when it comes to emoting like the former.
- male young adult
*gasps*
*groaning*
Part of commercial 2. The only voice of reason in the TV show promo. Still dramatic like the others. Only has one line in the whole promo.
- male senior
(Hushed and dramatic) By the 9 Hells, this is madness! Please Prince Devin, please reconsider!
Part of Commercial 2. The third of the Princes determined to aid his fellow royals. Has only one line but it's just as melodramatic as everyone else's dialogue.
- male young adult
(Dramatic) Someone’s got to help, Elder. In times like these, us royals must stick together. (On the nose) You could say, we are Princes at peril.
Part of Commercial 3. A sardonic and bumbling thief with a heart of gold.
- male adult
Let’s get to business.
I got to have it!
Part of Commercial 3. Eccentric senior hobo that lives in a damp moving box.
- male senior
Same here!
(Shouting) Come and take it!
Appears in Commercial 3. Blunt and disciplined investigator.
- male adult
Damn straight.
*groans* C’mon man, have some brains at least.
I stand corrected.
Appears in Commercial 3. Zany and short-sighted comic relief.
- male adult
- female adult
- male young adult
- female young adult
*chuckles* This is gonna be fun!
*spits water* Here’s my money!
Appears in Commercial 3. Offscreen voice that goads you to buy physical mementos of your simpler days.
Revisit all the highlights of the Thief and Me films with this limited edition DVD boxset. You know you want to add this with the rest of your miscellaneous merchandise. Just look at all this 1080p luster!
In addition to being a digitally remastered bundle pack, this boxset comes with never before seen behind-the-scenes, commentary, special features, interactive games, and bloopers.
Order these novelty items for the low low low price of 74.99.
Appears in Commercials 3 AND 9. As that name implies, they're pretty quick at speaking. Do what you like when auditioning.
- fast talking
- fast
Plus 22.92 for shipping and handling.
Taking Ozworks reduces erectile dysfunction 99.9% more effectively than other medicine capsules. Talk to a licensed physician before taking Ozworks. Side effects include watery eyes, sore throat, sore dick, bloody urine, frequent flatulence, crabs, weight loss, loss of appetite, loss of taste, whooping cough, runny nose, runny anus, puffy eyes, and frequent tiredness.
Part of Commercial 4. A gruff promoter to Thruster Ultima. *Cue background rock music*
- gruff
- gruff
- deep
- deep
Think mother nature decides the fate of the land?
Think again. With the Thruster Ultima, you’ll call all the shots. Get this big-ass truck so you can automatically win the respect of a bunch of strangers. Never be someone’s bitch again by paying a high APR for 30 months for this bad boy. You’ll be a bonafide badass, I promise—Thruster Motors: Comin’ forward.
Appears in commercial 5. The faceless spokesperson of Doggin’ and Dinin’. Witty and confident speaker.
Now introducing at Doggin’ and Dinin’: The buttah dog!
This new savory item that will clog up your affection is the ultimate lunchtime meal. It comes complete with a generous lathering of melted butter, five slices of cheese, two cups of whipped cream garnished with cinnamon, and a donut flavored bun. The buttah dog is so good, you’ll pay an arm and a leg to get it! *chuckles* I-I’m just kidding. It’s a joke, a pretty tasteless one. But you want to know what has lots of taste? The buttah dog. Now serving at Doggin’ and Dinin’.
Appears in Commercial 6. The gruff-sounding spokesperson for Scarabus distillery. Sounds like they haven't drunk water in decades.
- gruff
- raspy
- deep
There ain't a better time than a drunk ol’ time. And what better beverage to drink than the whiskey of Scarabus distillery? Made from a family recipe passed down for generations, Scarabus Distillery whiskey guarantees an enchanting experience. Scarabus Distillery: Let the drunk times roll.
Appears in Commercial 7. The smooth-talking and sultry voice for Thirst Enterprises, a company that makes questionable playthings...
- female adult
- androgynous
- male adult
- nonbinary
(Sultry) Hey there beautiful. No need to feel so lonely anymore… Fresh from renowned auteur and entrepreneur, Thirsty Blaze, comes some high-quality…toys that’ll get you to-
(Sultry) -Well, that. *chuckles* If you call this number in the next 69 minutes, you get an extra helping of delicious goodies. Fill in that void among other things with the future of adult entertainment. What are you waiting for? Come to Thirsty Enterprises today.
Appears in Commercial 8. The soulless spokesperson of Mammon University. If you've ever seen University ads before, you know what I mean.
- corporate narration
- female young adult
- male young adult
- Soulless
Enroll in Mammon University today. Our campus which is cozily nestled at the brink of Greed, offers high-class courses that are totally worth all the swaths of money we ask for. Heck, just listen to the testimonials of some of our alumni.
-Mammon University: Your money for some BS.
Appears in Commercial 8. A drug addict who used to attend Mammon University. Pretty hyper and tense.
- male adult
- female adult
(Antsy) Yeahyeahyeahyeah. Totally worth it. Totally worth it. It’s a gateway to many things. *sniffs* C-can I get those drugs now?
Appears in Commercial 8. A top executive at some white-collar corporation. Serious yet sly.
- male adult
- female adult
(Deadpan) Absolutely. Absolutely. I graduated from Mammon University top of my class with a BS in business. Now look at me, I’m a top executive in an industry where there’s a lot of bottoms.
Appears in Commercial 8. Basically, one of those entitled folks who can't read a room. 'Nuff said.
- female adult
- male adult
(Entitled) Mammon? What about him? I earned my BS, not him! In my day I was juggling two jobs and strenuous semesters in addition to taking care of my crippled and pregnant sister’s rowdy mutt. It was tough but it was worth it. I pulled myself by the bootstraps and won this goddamn game! Kids these days don’t understand the meaning of the word struggle. In fact, that reminds me of this one time from last week where there were these two ho-.
Appears in Program 1. A melodramatic noble who runs an island province and has marital issues. Tries to come off as an imposing force, but is quite antsy. To match his foppish persona, he speaks in an aristocratic British accent.
- male adult
- aristocratic british
You have a lot of nerve to show your face here again, Felica.
(Hushed) *heavy breathing* Watch your tongue, wrench! Don’t you forget, my word is law in this isle province. I can have you thrown into the deepest dungeons with no hope of ever seeing the daylight again!
(Flustered) Y-you have no idea what you’re playing with. If my wife were to find out, she’d-.
Appears in Program 1. The seductive and sneaky maiden whose charm wins the heart of Lord Jeremy. Elegant and beautiful as she is cunning and passive-aggressive. Felicia speaks in a general American accent.
- female adult
- general american
*scoffs* After that night we spent together, is this what you have to say to me? A pity.
(Sly) Now now, don’t goad me with a good time, Jeremy. In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what you say. I know you feel differently. (Whispering) Face it, love.
*snorts* Lady Trisha. It’s a pleasure.
Appears in Program 1. Lord Jeremy's nagging wife. When she appears, she's in a drunken state which makes her drop all sense of propriety and show off her simmering anger and bitterness. Trisha speaks in a raunchy Eastcoast accent.
- female adult
- american (northeast)
- new jersey
- Raunchy
- Drunk
- androgynous
(Drunk) *sipping noises* I…knew it! Yooor a no gooood cheat, Jeremy! Just like your fah-thah! *sipping noises* But thaat’s insulting to your fah-thah! At least he had the finesse.
(Drunk) Oh there’s an explanation allll rrriiigghht. *sipping noises* I’m not goooood enough for you anymore, right!?
(Drunk) Quit Bullshittin’, Jeremy. You’re bad at it. You got nothin’! You here me? Nothin’!
Appears in Program 2. Host of an inflammatory talk show where baby daddies and baby mommas tussle it out like it's WWE.
- male adult
- male senior
In the case of 5-year-old Elkfoll, Devclitius…You are not the father!
Appears in Program 2. A baby mama whose luck was not on her side in the case of 5-year-old Elkfoll.
- female adult
(Shrieking) Oh no! Nooooo!!!
Appears in Program 2. HE'S NOT THE FATHER. ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?
- male adult
Woo! In your face, Judith! *chuckles*
Appears in Commercial 9. Acts as the spokesperson for a medication that helps guys 40 years and up maintain their vitality in bed.
- male adult
- middle aged
I used to be at the top of my game in bed. I was the creme da le creme of the cul-de-sac. But then, I turned 40, and it was like all the years of experience I accumulated had vanished. It sucked, that’s for sure. Then I got a hold of Ozworks and my libido came back in a snap of a finger. As a user of Ozworks, I can say the stuff works. (Happy) It really works!
So what are you waitin’ for? Get Ozworks and bring the creme in creme da le creme back.
Part of Program 3. Their voices act as the opener and closer for War Royale, a competitive sport tournament where players must fight to the death for a chance to win a whole heap of money.
- female adult
- male adult
- radio announcer
(Screaming) WAAAARRRR ROOOOYYAAALLLEEE!!!
War Royale is brought to you by Doggin’ and Dinin’. Try their new Buttah dog today!
Appears in Program 3. A rambunctious and jestful commentator for War Royale. His name is Quinton Bay.
- loud
- male adult
Welcome back to War Royale folks! I’m Quinton Bay. This psychotic bastard next to me is the lovely Stanley Welles!
Oh ho ho ho, no kiddin’! This looks to be a close one, Stan. In the lead as of the moment is Dread Hubris who skewered three of his opponents at once and made it to the end first during the last round. He ought to be making kebabs with that sort of move. *chuckles* Following him is Yuko Grifter who caused her foes to disembowel themselves thanks to her godawful banshee shrieking. *chuckles* And they say music can’t move you to do anything. In the last five spots are a couple of schmucks who just got lucky. I could tell you their names, but I honestly doubt they’ll amount to anything. I bet they’ll get killed during this next round, Stan.
You really think those losers might make it?
Appears in Program 3. This sports commentator is level-headed compared to his fellow commentator. His name is Stanley Welles.
- male adult
- calm
*chuckles* Thanks for the introduction, Quinton. In this week’s game, our semi-finalists must face off in the cage of calamity to secure a spot in the final battle. Let’s look at the leaderboard, shall we? We’ve seen some pretty interesting things in this tournament as of late.
I beg to differ, Quinton. Although the players in the last five spots lack the unique skillsets possessed by the current leads, they have proven quite resilient.
I know so.
Appears for Commercial 10. The faceless promoter of the fictional game, the military industrial complex simulator.
- female adult
- male adult
Preorder the military industrial complex simulator today on the V-box. V Entertainment: Virtual vanity vivified.
Comments
Public Submissions
