News Anchor

Looks like the demands of the UN have fallen upon deaf ears for North Korea once again has fired yet another ballistic missile test yesterday but surprisingly enough, this 1 is an apparent success by being launched into the upper atmosphere & landing into the Eastern Sea at sunset in a particular angle that could reach North America. Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, President Hwang Kyo-ahn, President Donald Trump & Prime Minister Theresa May continue to warn Dictator Kim Jong-Un that his sheer defiance will only be met with militaristic intervention with Trump in particular mentioning “If you dare attack America or it's allies, you will be met with fire & fury of which the world has never seen before!” now that sounds just like something out of war-fiction or plain old Fantasy novel but the shocker this time is that Party General Xi Jinping has just stated that North Korea’s most recent test has disgraced the values that China upholds (Whatever they may be) & if North Korea continues this path of aggression then they will be picking a fight with the Red Dragon itself! Russia on the other hand continues to ignore the situation. This is just months after the ordered assassination of dictator’s late half brother, “Kim Jong-Nam”. The fatal hour seems to be drawing ever closer, will Kim Jong-Un ever be stopped? Can The World Ever Breathe a Sigh of Relief? Will My Boss Ever Stop Hogging All The Damn 🍩!!?? Only Time Will Tell…. I am (insert real/stage name here) & this has been your Unholy Update for July 4th, 2267. We hope to see you all back here tomorrow from all of us at the Unholy Update Network right here on channel WTFU.