[Pastor giving a sermon] Moments like this may bring lots of questions, but the Lord reminds us that the pain we feel is eternal… I mean temporary. Well, depends if you're atheist.

[Manager interviewing a candidate] We only have one opening available and a failed drop out with no other prospects and so desperate they can be easily exploited… is exactly who we’re looking for.

[Belittling Teacher] No, no. You must have had a reason for being late and disrupting us. It must be important. Why don’t you come up here and share with us?