Let's Read Genderstuck
_ThePatientSoul_ for Andrea Hussie
Andrea Hussie; the author's self-insert know-it-all character who is a bit arrogant about her knowledge of her own comic. Must be able to do long monologues (Recaps)
What? Oh hell no. This is always such a terrible
idea.I CONJURE THIS INTREPID FANTASYSCAPE WITH TEARS
BLED FROM THE WISDOM-WEARY EYES OF FIFTY THOUSAND IMAGINARY MAGICIANS. I PULL
HEAVY DRAGS FROM THE BRUMES OF INSPIRATION WITH ENCHANTED BELLOWS MARAUDED FROM
A GUILD OF CHURLISH MYTHICAL DWARVES. VAST BULBOUS RIDDLESPIDERS PUSH THE
SILKEN STRANDS OF PURE WHIMSY THROUGH HIDEOUS ABDOMINAL SPINNERETS AND IT IS
THAT WITH WHICH I WEAVE THIS AUDACIOUS COCOON OF EXQUISITE LIES. AND WHEN IT
HATCHES A GREAT MOTH OF TITILLATION WILL AWAKEN AND ROAR AND BEAT ITS WINGS,
AND THE POWDER SETTLING DOWN WILL ARREST THE HUMORS OF AN ENORMOUS TERRIBLE OLD
BEGGAR, RELAXING THE VULTUROUS LEATHERY VICEGRIP HE'S FIXED AROUND YOUR CAPTIVE
MIND.
Excuse me? Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not going fast
enough for you? Well QUITE FRANKLY, your majesty, I don't think you realize
what kind of hell I've been through. Do you have any idea how long I've been trapped
in this attic?? Do you have any idea how FUCKING SCARY it is in here??? Do you
have even the SLIGHTEST CLUE how many times that wolf head over there has
SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME?????