Hey everyone!
A group of VA friends and I are putting together a comic dub of the legendary Order of the Stick. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it's is a dnd inspired webcomic by Rich Burlew, full of humour, iconic characters and amazing plotlines. You can read it here: http://giantitp.com/comics/oots0001.html
There was a group who dubbed book 1 several years back, however we intend to take this dub all the way to the end, meaning this will be a super long term project.
Being a largely female group, this means we have more male roles on offer at the moment, but anyone is welcome to audition for a character of any gender. The ones marked male/female are ones where any type of voice will work, even if they have a gender in canon, and the ones with a single gender listed are still only guidelines - surprise me! There are also tons of minor characters available, but haven't had a chance to list them all yet (see update for extended list).
Ideally must be contactable via discord.
Roy Greenhilt is the 28-year-old leader of the adventuring party, The Order of the Stick. He is a pragmatic fighter and strategist, lawful good and constantly DoneTM with his fellow teammates.
I see him as a mix of Shiro (vld), Bojack Horseman, The Rock and T'Challa.
(sarcastically) Yes, Elan. I'm sure we'll have a chance to nip out and do some antiquing right between our trial and our execution.
(resigned) **sigh** Looks like another all-nighter.
(during an imagined conversation with his late father) Oh I can hear what you're saying, Dad. "Oh, so you really became a fighter just because you wanted the glory, then?" No, Dad, as usual, you've missed the point. I went to Fighter College because I wanted to help people. To protect the weak and— (moment of realisation) The weak. Oh gods. Elan! Am I really so intent on wallowing in my own self-pity that I'm willing to cast a helpless innocent to those thieves? What is wrong with me? I'm a disgrace to my alignment! Well, that's going to change now. Thanks for setting me straight, Dad. I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue Elan! (Durkon runs part screaming) I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue the entire rest of the party!
(angry) Wait. Wait right there. You knew - KNEW - that the whole thing was an accident, and you sent that bitch to drag us back here in chains?
(enraged) Oh, that is IT!
**miscellaneous battle sounds, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
Elan is the chaotic good, dumbass party bard, singing songs with his lute at every opportunity and making puns and ridiculous comments. He has a great love for the dramatic which is apparent through his story telling and knowledge of plot devices, which he often uses to break the fourth wall.
He has an evil twin brother, Nale, and a complicated family situation which unfolds as the story progresses. Other relationships include his friendship-infatuation with Roy and his romance with Haley, though he is oblivious to her feelings (and his own) for a good proportion of the comic.
(excited and surprised) Wait, did you just pick me first?? Roy never picks me first.
(singing) Move, move, move, move silently across the battlefield!
The world just isn't ready for Banjo the Clown, Roy. Soon, he will be a forgotten god, slumbering away for centuries until dark priests seek to awaken his unholy power. But when he returns, all will hear his call... The call...of BANJULHU!
(overbearing, going in for a hug) Thank you, Roy! You're the best friend I've ever had!
(mid-battle pun) C'mon, Nale, don't be a Sword Loser!
(standing on one hand with various eccentric items hanging off his person) I'm on an adventure!
(during a heart to heart with Haley) I'm torn, because on the one hand, I want to share something important that happened to me while we were apart... But on the other hand, bardic tradition demands that I withhold it all so that at some later point, you can accidentally learn an incomplete version and jump to all of the wrong conclusions —thus leading to entertaining dramatic conflict later in our relationship. ["So... what are you going to do?"] Tell you everything. How are we supposed to get a happy ending if we can't be honest?
(to the tune of Oh Danny Boy)
Oh Buddy Roy, the lich, the lich came calling
From round to round and in the air this day,
Although we have all found ourselves a falling
'Tis you, 'tis you went splat and we're OK.
But come ye back when Raise Dead has been cast
After cash for diamond dust we pool,'
Cause we'll be here tomorrow after breakfast.
O buddy Roy, O buddy Roy, you're pretty cool.
**any other lines from the comic, battle noises or anything else you think would fit**
Raised by monks before she was taken into the Sapphire Guard as a paladin, Miko is skilled with her blades and takes her duties very seriously. A little too seriously, in fact, and she is unpopular amongst her fellow warriors due to her lack of humour and extreme interpretation of her alignment and the paladin vows. She is very one-track-minded and constantly jumping to conclusions that fit her preconceived views on the world.
Voice-wise, think ninja assassin mixed with the local class know-it-all.
(devoted) Yes, master. My blades will be bathed in the blood of those responsible.
(enraged) Those deceivers! I knew they could not be trusted to speak the truth, and they seem to have found a way to magically shield their duplicity! Twelve Gods, let it be my righteous anger that brings their lies to justice!
(surprised revelation) It all makes sense now. I understand what I have to do.
(mid-battle rage) Die, evildoer! SMITE EVIL!
**miscellaneous battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
Hinjo is a paladin of the Sapphire Guard, the nephew of Lord Shojo and heir to the throne of Azure City. He is a kind, just leader who is good at rational decision making when it comes to balancing the needs of his people, the city and the fate of the world. His sense of humour is well in tact, though he likes to maintain that proper order and protocol is kept at all times. His paladin mount is a dire wolf named Argent.
(whispering) Let's just say there's a reason Miko get's picked for long missions. In foreign countries. Which keep her away for months at a time.
Don't get me wrong, I am NOT happy about the fact that you were working behind my back. But if you had Azure City's downfall at heart, it would have been easy enough to stand by and let Miko kill me, keeping your hands clean. The fact that you jumped in to save my life means a lot.
(summoning his paladin mount from a pokeball mid-battle) Argent, I choose you!
***Miscellaneous battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit***
Lord Shojo is the ruler of Azure City and Commander of the Sapphire Guard, an order of paladins created to protect Soon's gate. To avoid assassination from nobles wishing to seize power, he fakes senility by pretending to take orders from his cat, Mr. Scruffy. His natural sass is very apparent and usually directed at Roy.
(demanding) Guards! Summon the holy kitty litter! Mr. Scruffy demands poopsies!
Hey! Who's the wizened old man dispensing valuable plot points here? You? Didn't think so. Now pipe down!
I'm glad you figured that out before I advanced another age category, Mr. Greenhilt.
(sarcastic and mocking) What do you think, loyal wizard follower? Do you think Roy is doing a good job so far? **using skeletal remains of said wizard as a puppet** "Oh yes, Lord Shojo, I'm enjoying being a partially digested skeleton!"
**any other lines from the comic/anything you think would fit**
Vaarsuvius' original evil opposite in the linear guild. The dark elf Zz'dtri doesn't speak much, saying only spell incantations and the very occasional comment of a couple of words. His voice should be somewhat raspy, covered and withdrawn, represented in the comic by grey speech bubbles and text.
Greater dispel magic.
Flesh to stone.
Attack?
No.
**any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
The Norse God of thunder and, in the oots universe, part of the Northern Pantheon of Gods.
Stand true, loyal worshipers! I, Thor, have come to defeat Surtur in your hour of need!
Actually, now that you mention it, something does feel a bit... off.
Good enough for me! It's a dumb rule anyway.
**any other lines from the comic/anything you think would fit**
The Norse God of fire and dishonestly and, in the oots universe, part of the Northern Pantheon of Gods.
Bring it on, Thunder Geek!
Dude. Chill for a minute. How can you not feel that?
(grossed out) Ewwwwwwwwwww! I think I'm gonna be sick.
**any other lines from the comic/anything you think would fit**
Odin is head of the Norse Gods, himself being the God of magic and wisdom, among other things. In the oots universe, this makes him the head of the Northern Pantheon of Gods, and he is quite forgetful.
(disappointed) Aww, but I like puppets.
(cheerful) Oh! Hello, Thor! I was just trying to remember why I was here.
(perplexed) Did I? That doesn't sound like something I'd do. Sounds kinda mean, honestly.
**any other lines from the comic/anything you think would fit**
The Norse God of the watch; in the oots universe this makes him part of the Northern Pantheon. These are all the lines he has so far, but as the comic is still ongoing there's a high chance that he will have a couple more later on.
My fellow deities, we must protect ourselves from the danger of which we dare not speak. Many of us voted to spare this world when these rifts first appeared. But here we are, scant decades later, and the plan to let the mortals patch this on their own has failed. Yes, it is unfortunate that our followers' corporeal bodies will perish when we tear this world down and build a new one—but their souls will pass on to our respective realms as normal. It is the only safe and reasonable option. Thank you.
The only reasonable option is the most cautious one. Heimdall, God of the Watch, votes yes.
Once the leader of the bandit clan, now he has to reluctantly take orders from his teenage daughter Sam who, after manifesting sorceress powers with puberty, challenged him for leadership in a duel and won.
Bandits! Fire!
(angry) Samantha! You have some explaining to do, young lady. I am still your father, and I will not see my noble band of brigands turned into some kind of cheap dating service!
Take their stuff. Then, tie them up and leave them in the deep woods. If they're lucky, the druids will find them before the dire weasels will.
One of two assassins sent to kill the King of Nowhere.
I couldn't hear what they were saying; some halfling in the room next door was laughing too loud about something. But from what I saw, the King of Nowhere checked in two days early. He's here, now. But he's not alone. I counted nine people there with him: Six members of the hotel staff, his dwarven advisor, his court jester, and a red-haired girl I presume is a prostitute.
Oh, not this again. This is just like when we were there to kill the high priest, and you spent the whole mission with the Vestal Virgins.
(exiting through the nearest window) Screw this! I'm not getting rubbed out by magic-wielding hookers!
**battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
One of two assassins sent to kill the King of Nowhere. He's sleazy, misogynistic and is incredibly degrading towards women.
(with increasing energy and DoneTM) Jump into the shadows, will ye? You dinnae notice a flaw in yer plan? A crucial fund'mental flaw? Thar's no shadows! It's a friggin' stick figure comic, ye moron!
STOP! (then in an undertone, pinching currently-female Roy's butt) I'll be in Room 608 later tonight, Sweetcheeks. Bring one o' yer girlfriends. I'll make it worth yer while.
C'mon in, girls, though we're gonna have ta make this quick. Time ta get me some booty. **Roy, Haley and V break down the door, weapons drawn** (panicking) Did I say "get me some booty"? I meant ta say, "respect yer thoughts an' opinions as fellow humanoids".
**battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
The younger sister of Roy, she's the most popular girl in the Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery. Could easily fit into an episode of MPGiS or Mean Girls.
Gods, did you see the outfit Sandra is wearing today?
What the hell?? Get your hands off me you ugly creep, or I'll make sure you regret it!
I can feel my Coolness Factor dropping just by being in the same room as these dorks.
Hey, you know, you'd be kinda cute if you shaved off that stupid beard.
Uh, hello, Roy's LG, not me. I'm True Neutral. I go both ways.
Evil Gnome Druid recruited by the Linear Guild as Durkon's evil opposite.
ATTENTION MEWLING CITY DWELLERS! Gaze in fear as the trees of your much-vaunted "municipal park" angrily awaken to wreak bloody vengeance on you for incarcerating them in a well-mowed prison! The once and future masters of this land walk among you now! Let those who led their dogs to urinate upon them now flee in mortal terror! Crush them, my leafy comrades! Tear down this concrete abomination once and for all! So commands Leeky Windstaff, evil gnome druid! Bwahahaha!
Sonic? SONIC?? Curse you, elf, for finding the one energy form that I did not think to ward my children against! Woe to us, for we are defeated this day! Crushed by the... Wait. You do realize that you didn't actually cast a spell there? You just shouted the word, "Sonic!" loudly.
Based on that scene from the Princess Bride. His voice should sound as close to this as possible but with a slight kobold twinge (whatever you think that would be): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY4cnMmo9qw.
Spanish wasn't an option for the accent box, so I went with the closest one.
(in increasing levels of intensity) Hello. My name is Yokyok. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
They are not my "team", murderer, only a means to an end. Your end, to be specific.
***miscellaneous battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit***
Headmaster of the Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery, aka off-brand Albus Dumbledore. Do what you want with his voice - it could be similar to the movies, AVPM or Potter Puppet Pals in honour of the excellent content they have provided for us all or something completely different.
Yes sir, I think you'll definitely find someone to fill your vacant position here at the Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery.
Let me introduce you to our star pupil, the famous Larry Gardener.
(upon seeing Larry Gardner getting sliced with an axe and Nale apologising for the mess) Don't be, I've been wanting to do that for six books. Years, I mean six years.
Off brand Harry Potter. The star pupil at the Warthog's School for Wizardry and Sorcery, he is spoiled and full of self importance. Do what you want with his voice - it could be similar to the movies, AVPM or Potter Puppet Pals in honour of the excellent content they have provided for us all or something completely different.
Hullo, guvner!
(as if reading a resumé/CV) Well, let's see... I'm a precocious youth who regularly manages to trounce wizards with far more skill, experience and emotional maturity than myself.
(horrified) What? But I'm the best! Everything always goes my way!
Stoppus Badguyus! **promptly gets killed by Thog wielding an axe**
Pompey is an evil half-elf with a hatred for his elven kin. Nale recruits him from the Warthog's School of Wizardry and Sorcery as Vaarsuvius' evil opposite for the linear guild. He's technically 43, but in human years that makes him a nerdy, desperate, horny teenage sleezebag, who also happens be lusting over Julia Greenhilt.
I did ask you out to dinner once. Per week. For three semesters.
That is *so* hot.
Crush the police, my evil insect minions! Kill them!
(panicking) I don't know! I'm just a lackey!
What part of "lackey" don't you understand? Geez....
Imprisoned for Grand Larceny, he's offered five years off his sentence in exchange for fighting in the battle of Azure City.
(after losing a bet) Damn, I was sure he'd be too smart to try that jump.
(impressed) Nice eye, yeah, this is the good stuff. High save DC, Constitution damage, the works. Costs a bundle per dose.
(about to commit treason) It's not my usual area of expertise, but sometimes, you gotta break outta your rut to get ahead in the world. Now let me know if any of the soldiers start looking over here...
**battles noises, any other sounds from the comic or anything you think would fit**
The late mother to Roy, Julia and Eric Greenhilt, most of her scenes take place in the afterlife in her teenage form. She has a tendency to overshare her personal life with Roy, much to his disgust.
(telling young Roy a story in a flashback) --and then your grandpa took the family's ancestral sword and THWACK! He chopped of the dragon's head.
This is the afterlife, Roy, honey. We all appear as our ideal version of ourselves, and I guess I never stopped thinking of myself as the 19-year-old looker who had never heard the name "Eugene Greenhilt".
Don't be silly. This is the real me. Now come and give your mommy a great big hug. *throws herself on Roy* If you want, I can read you that book again. You can put your head in my lap, like when you were young.
Not now, Enriqué, my son Roy is here to visit.
**any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
He only appears in one strip, and is seen after having a one-night-stand with Sara in the afterlife. These are all the lines he has in the comic (link here: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0495.html)
Sara, your shower, it is out of shampoo?
Ah, I understand. I shall dress and let myself out.
Excusing me, do you remember to where you were the flinging my codpiece?
The Dr. Frankenstein of Greysky City, Grubwiggler makes his living animating corpses into golems.
Oh, I see! You're looking to hire me for a commission job. You pay me, I cast the spells, and you walk away with your dead boyfriend behind you, is that it? Well, it's not my usual line of business, but I see no reason not to make an exception for a fine female specimen such as yourself.
It's alive! ALIVE!
This is outrageous! Bozzok, I pay your Thieves' Guild an ludicrous sum each month for your "protection" from theft, and yet I was robbed just an hour or so ago.
Miron is one of General Tarquin's closest allies and together, with the rest of the Vector Legion, control all the politics on the Western Continent from the inside.
(voice over for a letter) Miss Haley Starshine,
It is our regretful duty to inform you that your father, Ian Starshine, has been imprisoned for crimes against the government of Lord Tyrinar the Bloody, absolute master of the nation of Tyrinaria. He will be incarcerated for a period not to exceed the span of his natural life. However, Lord Tyrinar is not without mercy, and should you, as Mr. Starshine's only living relative, remit unto our master an appropriate gift of no less than 200,000 gp (cash), he might be willing to consider granting clemency to your father.
— Sincerely, Miron Shewdanker, Chancellor of Tyrinaria
Seems like an awful waste of resources if you ask me, Tarkie. You want Greatsword Dude dead, just send Jacinda to slit his throat in the night.
**battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
Laurin Shattersmith, Psion, is one of General Tarquin's closest allies and together, with the rest of the Vector Legion, control all the politics on the Western Continent from the inside.
You indulging your first son got Malack killed. Now you're throwing perfectly good troops away to influence the other one. Do what you want with your own country's resources, but I see no reason to enable you.
(during battle) Don't tell me what I'm "allowed" to do, elf. You people up there in your lush forest while the rest of us have to fight for scraps— **gets hit by a spell** —you can shove your false respect, because you don't know anything about me!
(filled with awe and wonder) I peeped a look in this weird portal thing with Clairvoyance before the battle started. When you're close, you can see a whole ocean in there! Enough water to support a new city, with the right desalination magic.
**battle noises, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
Felix is a pirate on the airship Mechane. He was Julio Scoundrél's sartorial adviser when he was still the captain, as well as having other duties on the ship. He would easily fit in with the Queer Eye fab 5.
(excited) Hey everybody! Look, I got us all winter gear!
(weirded out) Uh, sure, just don't poke me with your weird puppet again.
(upon seeing Julio's disastrous outfit) Captain! I cannot in good conscience allow this!
(mid-attack) And would it kill them to break up all that blue and grey with a few gold accents to pull their ensembles together? .....What? You think a splash of fuchsia would pop better?
**battle sounds, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
There are TONS of these guys so I'll be casting lots of people for this role. Most of them just have one line before being brutally killed in battle, but there are some with a few more lines.
**Try out any of these you like the sound of, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
You know, at first I wasn't sure about this goblin as a leader, but this is just awesome!
Yeah, any leader who'll let us invade a city and crush it beneath our heals is OK in my book.
Dude, you used that joke like, 3 rounds ago.
(horrified) Oh man, that stuff is like 90% saturated fat!
(commanding) FIRE!
Orders, Supreme Leader?
(tearful) *sniff* I think... I think there's something in my eye.
**battle noises and/or dying sounds**
Same as for the hobgoblins, there are loads of them so will be casting multiple people.
**Try out any of these you like the sound of, any other lines from the comic or anything you think would fit**
(worried) There's so many... Crap, are those flying troops there? Oh, this sucks!
(commanding) ARCHERS! RETURN FIRE!
That's the last ghoul, I think.
Quick, someone get up there and check on the enemy!
(aghast) Uh, guys... I think you should come see this.
You know, he's right. I watched my brother and my best friend get eaten by ghouls today--and my best friend's fiancé cut in two by a hobgoblin. I'm done. I'm getting out of here while I still can.
(shocked and frustrated) What are you doing?? We have to defend our homeland!
**battle noises and/or dying sounds**
One of the two devils who sit atop Belkar's shoulders.
Dude! Ten grand just to watch while your new buddy rubs out that sanctimonious jerk? Can I get a "Hell, yes!"? Hinjo totally screwed you on that prison sentence thing, so now, it's payback time!
One of the two devils who sit atop Belkar's shoulders.
Belkar, wait! Hinjo promised to remove the Mark of Justice once and for all after the battle. If he's killed now, you'll never be able to wantonly slaughter innocents again without worrying about whether or not you're standing in a city!
No, it's just the two of us and the slaad, and trust me, you don't want him to come out. The angel... doesn't work here anymore.
The angel who used to sit atop one of Belkar's shoulders. This is the only line they have.
(traumatised) ...and he kept stabbing them, again and again... He's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly... Why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY???
