KFAD2 Mojo Dub

天郷2号? www それはただのガンダム偽造品です。【-∧-】

らんらんるー! ドナルドが幸せなときはいつもこれをしなきゃ。ぜひ参加してねぇ!  さあ!

♂ Why not you and I settle it right here on the ring? ♂

Hey now, did anybody just hear something? Ah, nevermind that: it was only my handsome voice.

Well, you see, my furry little friend, I’ve heard a lot about this king at the tournament from some of my fellow superstars back at CN City. Some folk like that fat kid with the diamond and the karate lookin’ OK O fella were really excited about the thought of being invited, but the letter ended up goin’ to me instead.

Silver… gunner? Who’s guns are we talking about here now? The only guns I know about are none other than my own. Hmph!

Ooh, is this where the interviews are happening? Sorrey to interrupt, I was just doing some sweeping in the back.

Okay! Catch you guys later, then!

Hiya everyone! Don’t worry, I’ll have this cleaned up for you in no time!

ME, WARIO, TREASURE HUNTER EXTRAORDINAIRE, MASTER OF MICROGAMES AND ALL ROUND LADIES MAN

OF COURSE WE WON’T CHEAT (shut your trap Waluigi). Just that uh… our plans are so good, it’s just like cheating!

WEH? Why are you next door?! Are you stalking us again? We told you that you’d get your rips in due time!

AND ME, WALUIGI, PINBALL WIZARD, SUPERSTAR ATHLETE AND CHEF OF ONLY THE FINEST FOODS

Yeah that’s right, we don’t need to cheat when we’re already the best business in the competition.

Aw crud that’s today? We haven’t done anything yet.

DID YOU JUST CALL ME A POSER WHEN I CAN HEAR YOU TWO BUFFOONS NEXT DOOR?!?!

Are you two that clueless that you don’t know we record The Silver Zephyr here? Or that we have a stockholder’s meeting after this?

*sigh,* Look I only came here to ask if you’ve seen my cane, Goodstyle, around here as we need him for filming, but clearly you dolts haven’t.

With my sources expanded, I’m almost certain I’ll be able to make it to first place! Yoko Shimomura is a lovely songstress, and I believe it’s only fair that all of her work should be represented in this tournament. Those two troublemakers that had the better of me in the previous tournament won’t be standing in my way this time.

Really? You know, it’s strange- I asked Mario if he would like to join me on this adventure but he simply said he would be “acting as the Studio Gunner Janitor”, seemingly with this tall teenage girl with a six to eleven year old kid helping them out.

…Erm, if you’ll excuse me, I believe I must be going now. Farewell!

While Goku can be a little imbecile, he is also a good friend. Without him, Earth would’ve been blown to bits by now. Blast you, Cell! I’m going to kick everyone of these contestants' butts no matter what it takes!…Then I’ll treat them in my office later with my doses, daily.

Please don’t bother with them, let’s just make this quick and act like they aren’t there. Got it?!

Will you promise that you will tell me if that thing starts evolving? Gohan would gladly tear that thing into absolute shreds.

Hey Piccolo, nice interview you got here! Mind if I join in?

Dude…we both saw what happened.

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU. CAN. DO. THIS!

Good evening, Piccolo.

Piccolo, that was a rather inappropriate tactic.

You will have the find that answer yourself, Piccolo.

Thanks for having me, Meowth and HyperCam! By the way Mr. Cam, I know it’s your favorite, so I brought you a Twinkie Weiner Sandwich.

It was after the first tournament, when I lost to that fat penguin. Losing the first match of the entire competition was the most embarrassment I’ve felt since losing on Jeopardy! But I remained determined, and that determination manifested into 「BEAT IT」.

No problem! I’ve gotta say, this fancy new way of doing interviews is super interesting.

Shamone, hee hee, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

Next time, maybe don’t pick fights with guys who got big hammers? You were playin’ with your life back there, that ain’t no truth or dare.

Nobody wants to be defeated, but I always knew you could beat it.

You’re such a cute kitty! Quote, can we keep him?

Quooote!! Why are you still using that cruddy gun? You should be using your Missile Launcher or my Machine Gun if you’re going to be fighting! Wait, is that why you’re here? Quote, you’re going to be fighting this kitty?!

You mean that guy chugging those 60 ounce beers just outside the room? He seems pretty flimsy to me. Only thing he’d hurt is my ears with that trumpet of his!

Ugh… for the last time, we don’t get matching jackets! I wouldn’t even care to wear it, I look better in my suit than I would in some cruddy numbered jacket.

(Man, he just does NOT shut up… Wait, why does the poster have to be about him?! We’re supposed to be a team!)

Hey, wait! Did you go see Maya without me?! What did you talk to her about??

Then how about posters? I can see it now: Me and my rippling muscles surrounded by alllll the ladies, with the text “Vote Monokuma | All my homies love Monokuma”! It would guarantee my win of the tournament!

Whaddya want?? Can’t you see I’m trying to go over strategies on how to propel #TeamKuma to victory!?

Phuhuhu, why don’t you go see little miss Maya~? If they let me just waltz in there, I’m sure you’d be fine!

Hah! You said it, pal!

Bean just got out of the hospital to watch this thing with everyone, and now this is all happening. Poor fella. Let’s show them our support, pal!

OOO! Hypercam and Meowth! Hello! I’d love to do the interview!! Why me though, aren’t Nick and that cute teddy bear the ones who are contestants?

What?? Of course not! Nick’s gonna prove as much in court- just you wait!

Oh yeah! We haven’t even mentioned Ace Attorney or Danganronpa- So yes, I’d say I’m pretty confident in Nick. He didn’t say it, but me caring so much about KfAD is probably why he didn’t just let Monokuma enter alone. He’ll fight his hardest to win while solving the case, even if he can’t seem to get along with Monokuma- I just know it!

Things have been going well! The hotel bar stocks Kirin, which was a pleasant surprise. *laughs*

What do you mean, Meowth, Reimu’s in my pocket! It’s actually quite simple though: Gensokyo is separated by the Great Hakurei Barrier. There’s no way to guarantee that mail can be delivered there, unless it gets lost in transit, so unless you find some way to cross the Barrier, there’s no method to deliver an invitation. Even if that wasn’t the case though, this tournament is primarily focused on the musical aspect of the series, so even if someone like the Prismriver Sisters got invited, it might make more sense to have the music represented by the composer rather than a character.

I actually learned quite a bit of English before entering last year’s tournament; in the past, when I travelled outside of Japan, I usually brought a translator, but in the doujin spirit, I decided to take it upon myself to learn the language.

SANS DIDN’T WANT TO GO AT ALL, IT SEEMED! AS HE SO PLAINLY PUT, IT WAS “TOO MUCH WORK.” ADMITTEDLY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN KIND OF FUN IF HE CAME ALONG WITH ME!! A SHAME, REALLY.

ALL YOU WOULD NEED TO DO IS JUST UPLOAD “HIGH QUALITY RIPS,” SANS! IT’S NOT EVEN MUCH EFFORT!!! ALL YOU’D NEED TO DO IS JUST MAKE SOME ENTERTAINING MASHUPS OR REMIXES THAT ADORING FANS WOULD ENJOY!

… UMMM. BECAUSE I’D GET TO MEET A BUNCH OF NEW FRIENDS???

oh, you know. was in town and just wanted to pop by to support my favorite brother is all.

well, it’s just too much work. plus, being king isn’t my kind of thing. i like to take it easy, you know?

that’s fair. anyways, i’m out. i’ve got a bunch of napping to catch up on.

To monitor alien activity occurring around this area. You wouldn’t happen to know anything right? I’ve been hearing about one of the contestants here who’s been looking to “balance” the universe. Even worse, I also hear he’s working for Disney. So, do you know?

Oh, you mean Agent H? He joined Men in Black after a scuffle with some of his former alien friends following last year’s tournament and he wanted us to know about possible extraterrestrial threats coming from here. Because of all this, he asked if he could become my partner for this mission. He’s very passionate about it. Isn’t that right, H?

Aight my apologies. You best be glad K isn’t here, he probably would have shot your head off by now.

[SPEAK FELINE]

[CLOUT. THEY TRIED TO GAIN TOO MUCH CLOUT.]

[AGREED. EAT AT MCDONALD'S.]

Hello! I like money!

Advertising, me boyo! Me darlin’ daughter Pearl introduced me to the Internets recently, and I realized that I could promote me Krabby Patties across the seven seas with this here channel! I might even make a few of those “High Quality Shanties” or whatever they be called.

Believe I had one encounter with one of em. He was speaking all of those bad words! Including 🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬 and 🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢🚢 and even 🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋🐋. It would have made my poor mother pass out!

Curse you Krabs! One day me and my superior intellect will have that formula, just you wait!

You haven’t seen the last of me Krabs! I went to college!

Good evening! KRABS!

Some nerds in my studio were talking about this SiIvaGunner guy, never heard of em. They told me he was in the middle of his fourth season. I didn’t exactly knew what that meant, but when I heard “fourth”, I knew it was my destiny to join his tournament.

Hmm, if I’m being honest, I’d like to face Mr. Krabs. I am a huge fan of Spongebob, so coming face to face with the Eugene Krabs would be a dream for me.

Hah, like a typical Daft Punk album! Except this time, the Skateboard P will be there too!

I understand why one could think that. But recontextualizing our music is still experimentation and risk-taking in a sense, especially for us. It’s always weird to hear your music beyond your vision and within new realms. But we’re used to remixing our tracks quite a bit, and that’s what we are planning to do if we win the tournament. And we think it will be fun!

Il te demande ce que tu penses de nos adversaires.

Yeah, but to be fair, I’m mostly interested at that guy who seems to have resurrected Michael. How the heck did he do that?

This is Snake, reporting in. Is this conversation being monitored?

You did a good job for a camera, but I don’t think I’ll get booted so early this time. Expect the unexpected. I’ll hit before you even know what happened.

I decided to take inspiration from Mr. Kojima and his past works. He’s a highly skilled individual after all, and trenchcoats always look good.

Snake. Sorry to bug you, but I think we- hey, wait just a minute. Where are you, Snake?

Oh! Marvelous! I would love to introduce myself. My name is Hal Emmerich, but you can call me Otacon. I’m a good friend of Snake’s, and a big fan of Japanimation.

You’d be right to think so. The aliens go by the names Popoy and Marcianito, and they’re both well known for being party freaks. They didn’t make it very far in the first King For A Day Tournament, but they make for quite a challenging opponent now that they’ve teamed up with Pitbull.

Oh, hehe, sorry. Bananas on the brain!

Well, ol’ Donkey Kong’s ready to win! Inka Dinka Doo said I’M the future ruler, not any of these other half pints.

Well, then I’ll do what I do to Kuhrool and his Kronies: give ‘em the Banana Slamma! Then after that I’ll get lunch. By the way, are either of you guys hungry? I’m starved.

You call that an introductory description? Disgusting! Shameful! You’re lucky I even bothered to break the fourth wall for this. Honestly! Back in my day, people could do a lead-in without throwing in a ham-fisted joke or fancy pop-culture reference!

Oh excuse me Mr. IGotCutFromKFAD1McGee! Really stinks that you’re stuck with this instead of redeeming yourself in the second one. Not that it would have done you any good, because I could beat you blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back!

Another Pokymans?! Is that all you’ve got? WOAH! Put me down! OW!! MY BACK!

A golden opportunity, that is all. In the time since I was acquired by Disney, I’ve been promoted as the head of their public relations board. When I heard there was another chance to gain ownership of the SiIvaGunner channel I notified my superiors and they agreed with me that the opportunity was too good to not take up. There was, however, the issue of not having anyone who could reasonably go to such a tournament. That is, until I volunteered to represent Disney. And so here I am.

Oh, the fool survived? Curious. How could he have lived through the snap of the Infinity Gauntlet?

 I quite like “It’s a Small World” although, it’s inaccurate. But it will be accurate soon.

Aight well, my fans have been buggin’ me for years to drop this, teased it at the end of “My Band” about… damn has it been 15 years already? Shit’s called “My Salsa”, I’ve been cookin’ it up ever since, just never really felt the world was hungry enough for it y’know? But now’s the time, and I know everyone’s gonna eat it up.

Hold onto that jar, this shit’s gonna fly off the shelves. My fans will pay top dollar for anything with my name on it, y’know? I know they’re gonna get me real far in this tournament.

Yo, did you say Donkey Kong? Man I’ve beat that damn monkey a million times over the years, this is gonna be a piece of fuckin’ cake. Can’t wait to beat my high score once again, tryna crack my previous record of 465,000.

Hey, how’s it going, I’m Jack, and this is my pal, Elmo.

Well you see, I joined so I can impress my kids that watch this SiIvaGunner with my totally amazing and awesome selection of sources, and my buddy Elmo here asked if he could go so he could make some new friends at this tournament.

Well, I was thinking we would make it more educational, thus making it more awesome! We could do all sorts of stuff, like learning all eight glorious sides and stunning angles of an octagon!

Hello everyone! Elmo and Jack are going to have a lot of fun today!

Hmm, Elmo recognized Pharrell! He showed Elmo how to use his imagination by reading a book! Elmo wonders why he’s hanging out with robots though.

Kill everything.

Sorry for the interruption, metal scraps. But GET BACK TO THE TRAPS AND MAKE SURE THEY WORK NEXT TIME! OVER!

Of course! My genius intellect predicts that much of your audience is blinded with nostalgia, so bringing back some good classic YouTube Poop material was an obvious ploy. I also learned that some string beans like mean beans around here, so I brought them along as well.

How DARE you invade my BEAUTIFUL HEAD, money grabber? That was such a fiendish plan from my genial brain!

Yeah! But I have another reason too, don. Ya see, I have a dream: to make taiko drumming known all over the world, da-don! But I realized that this dream would never come true if I kept sleeping on the roof of my house, don…

I trained hard too!… well, to be fair, I slept a lot, don…

A puppet? I think it looks more like a cheery Oni, da-don! Well, I wonder if it’s really an Oni, he is very small and he doesn’t have horns, don… But if he is an Oni, that will be a good test of my drumming skills! Ohhhhh, I can’t wait, da-don!

You bet! Since the King for a Day Tournament is all about music, it made perfect sense for us to show to the world that rhythm can make music, well, Perfect!

Later, when I received the invitation, I asked all of my Rhythm friends to train me harder than ever to be sure to hit a perfect beat every time. So I didn’t only train my feet like I usually do, but also my arms with baseball bats, my hands with forks and sweets, and I even learned some Karate with Joe! I have no excuses now if I don’t hit a Perfect!

The rocker guy and his puppet? It’s interesting our first opponent is another duo! Personally, I trained with rockers, so I’m well rounded to take him on! I just hope he knows how to finish his songs well, otherwise I will feel a bit sick, hehe…

Hahaha, I must say, it’s really great to be here. You know, I always start every interview the same way, I’m sure you know the phrase? YEEEEEEOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha… You see, it comes from my brother. He would scream “YEEEEEEOOOOOOOO” whenever there was a problem – or as I prefer to call it, a “situation” – because there are no problems, you see, only solutions. He would go “YEEEEEEOOOOOOOO” and then someone else would hear it, and it was kind of like a cry for help, you know? Now don’t get it twisted, just because I use it in my music doesn’t mean I’m crying for help, no. I use this signal on behalf of everyone else who is listening, because *I’m* the problem! ;)

Popoy, tone it down just a couple of notches, ok pal?

…AHEM. As I was saying. There is no losing. Only learning. There is no failure. Only opportunities. There are no problems. Only solutions. You starting to get my drift?

Hahahahaha don’t worry my little cheetah man, we’re just playing. We’re all super tight. Man, me and my coochie Marcianito? We’ve been fuckin around for MILLENNIA man. It was just last year when my main man El Chombo said I’d be workin’ with this half-Gringo asshole. At first I was like “WHAT? Fuck that shit, that ain’t gonna bring no pussy.” But now we’re all as tight as much as this motherfucker says yeah.

Fuck yeah! We are SO going to win this tournament! Ok, so you know how we lost like fucking losers last time? That was the old us. That ain’t us no more. We’re the new us now. Then we were just some goofy-ass dance clown town. We ain’t just a joke no more.

Yeah yeah yeah, I play video games too! I did my research! I know my stuff! I do the Mario! Shake your hands from side to side…

yeah

ayy lmao

hubo una gran oportunidad y la aprovechamos. sin resentimientos.

 In the flesh! Thanks for havin’ me here, cool cat!

Well, not with this rickety old body. I’ve certainly looked better, that’s for sure. Hahaha! While these bones may be gettin’ old, my beats are ALWAYS fresh. Anyone who tries to step up to me must be out of their minds to expect anything less!

As cliché as it sounds, the secret’s in the music, son. Music’s what gets the blood pumpin’ in those young souls out there. It’s a universal force in our hearts that drives all of us to keep goin’ at it and never stop! For as long as I’m still standing, I’m gonna fight to keep that message going, to inspire the young, rebellious spirit inside all of us, no matter what comes in my way.

YEAH, WHAT’S UP! IT’S LIL JON FOR HOBART, AND WE’RE HERE TO SHOW YOU ALL THE POWER OF MY FRIEND, THE ALL-NEW HOBaRT FROM HOBART!!!

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, I SAID AUSTRALIAN! LIKE CROCODILE DUNDEE-TYPE SHIT! THEY EVEN MADE IT SO THE ATTACHMENTS SPIN THE OTHER WAY, THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S REALLY FROM DOWN UNDER! BUT I DIGRESS, LET ME DEMONSTRATE THE POWER OF OUR ALL-NEW RIPPING TECHNOLOGY FOR YOU!

NOW BREAK IT DOWN HOBaRT, LET ME SEE YOU MIX IT UP!

Absolutely!… Well, that was a big part of it at the very least. My home will always be at Nintendo, but eventually, you just want to get out there and try something new. Which is why I am here, and ready to kick some ass!

Bill, you’re telling me that if it wasn’t for donuts you wouldn’t have helped your friend out? What’s wrong with you?

Bowser is very misunderstood. He only wants what’s best for his son and the company, he’s very big on parental controls. Just because he likes kidnapping a princess does not mean he’s a bad guy. Besides, who’s more fitting to own the company than Bowser? A plumber?

Well it wasn’t exactly my decision to make. Miyamoto really wanted Reggie to have a partner, he really wanted Reggie to have that true power from Nintendo. So when I was offered to go, I was hesitant at first, due to being really busy translating. However, they told me if I were to go, I would get “as much donuts as I pleased”, and so I packed my things and headed straight for the tournament!

It’s a curse, Reggie. That Yo-Kai has long-term effects, you know. I still see you dancing from time to time.

 Back at Nintendo Japan, there is a safe that contains all kinds of weaponry, just in case of an emergency at the company. Lifting these Joy-Cons is not gifted to anyone, you have to be a chosen one. Someone who is so big in the company, that the soul of Nintendo itself lends you power. You have to train, work hard, and most importantly, have the power of Nintendo among you.

Nyeh, what’s up doc? The names Chungus, and I’m the leader of this crew of maroons.

We’re here to win this darn tournament through any cartoonish methods possible.

Of course we are. You saw that direct right? It’s gonna be a breeze if our opponents are a cell phone and a pickle. Though I am worried about going against another rabbit.

Hello bruddah. I was told I could have de queen if I became de king.

I am looking forward to putting dat Mario to shame with de entire sonic the hedgehog franchise.

Bruddah! Why are you running??? This is not de wae!!!

WOAH

WOAH

WOAH! WOAH! WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH

“you can talk!” says the talking cat eating lunch with the talking camera at a tournament that has already a talking doll as a contestant. that’s right, i’m a talking fumo, and this is my lunch, thank you very much.

…i don’t know the guy at all, no. i guess gift kinda tossed me at him since they thought everyone was gonna vote for him. so they put me in his pocket and now people will buy more fumos cause im like, cute, i guess? and a meme? i don’t know.

can stuffing is a very popular activity among fumos. we have a discord server. it’s okay.

Huzzah!

Whoa! That’s impressive. Nice job, little guy!

Hello Quote! Now that we’ve found you, we should get back to our rooms at the hotel.

Couldn’t you have you called later, Mr. Krabs? I’m taking my daily relaxing spa bath!

Don’t worry, it’s just Spongebob and Patrick doing something idiotic. Like usual.

Everything is under contro-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not just “someone”! Don’t you know how to respect your elders?

Call me Mr. Sakamoto, don’t forget that! As for who I am, I’m simply a cat trying to live my life. I was invited here by this… television, but I only showed up because I was promised food!

Leave it to college students to have such a lack of respect!

I-I’m from the Light Music Club! I came here because Yui insisted, even after I refused many times! She even made me keep these cat ears on…

I’m not very confident in my guitar skills, but if I get the band over here, maybe I can put on a performance. Although I’m a little…nervous…

We will see about that once this match is over. I-I can be feisty if I wanted to! Please don’t be so rude!

Hey big buddy, you did it! Hah hah! You really showed that salsa-loving salamander what for!

Well gee DK, I didn’t think I’d walk in on YOUR interview and meet a couple of legends!

I save the world from dastardly evildoers alongside my big buddy, and what do YOU do?! Count? Look at shapes!? I save LIVES!

Hurry up, you guys! We’re not even supposed to be in this interview!

Oh, a-are we live right now? Oh gosh, uh…hello SiIvaGunner fans!, u-uh I’m Edd, but people call me Double D! We’re all from this one place that’s called CN City, and, uhh, u-uh-

Dexter, you’re breaking the website! Don’t mess with it, the viewers need it to read the interview!

It is quite peculiar to have a place such as this for battles…

Correct. We have all decided to lend our good friend Johnny a hand by providing him with all the support he’ll need to win the tournament. There’s no doubt in my mind he’ll soar high with us backing him up. Defeating others on the battlefield with his…music…(which I still don’t understand, how does this competition work?)

Ah, so it appears you have some game after all, my friend. I was starting to lose faith.

Hey, let us introduce ourselves too you dumb buffoon! I’M Buttercup! Me and my sisters are superheroes, and we whoop some major a–

Hey, give us the short version, will ya? We don’t have all day!

Hey! Can someone tell me who THIS is?

Hmmmm.. What is zis “MOJO” supposed to be? Its function seems to be quite peculiar… but if I just make a few tweaks here and there, zen-

Interview? What is zis nonsense you are talking about?

You know, an INTERVIEW? Where you ask questions and get answers?

Woah! Hey, watch it!

Hi guys! Sorry we’re late, but we’re here now!

Oh my gosh, K.O., is that you!? How are you? It’s been a while!

Woow! That’s a lot of music!

We got a little lost on the way here! Lion thought it was a good time for a nap right before we had to leave, and honestly I feel that.

Hey, Double D! Tell ‘em about those papers you’re wiggling all over.

It’s this new genre Jake introduced me to! Trust me guys, if it’s a music genre coming from Jake, you KNOW it’s going to be totally ba-nae-nae! It’s called “PC Music”…

Don’t you worry, Johnny, we’re here for you! You may be an adult, but anyone fighting for the good of KND is good in my book.

Get back here, Courage! You got ta relax or we’re goin ta make a scene! Oh, hey, is this where we all are now?

What does te “PC” stand for?

It’s da one with te big square, you idiot.

Cannoli, can you please stop doing that? You might hurt someone, like me!

Ouch! You hurt me too this time! Their heads are harder than cinder blocks.

Gwahaha! Forgive me for the property damage, but the fans do like a big entrance!

Pardon my fashionable lateness, but let’s get this interview done quick, kitty. I do have a tournament to be winning, after all! Oh, and make sure that camera gets my good side.

What, that jolly green jerk? That quack’s outta here! Management heard the cries of all the fans out there, and what the fans wanted was the WORLD CHAMP! And as such, they got yours truly to be Big Green’s replacement!

Hey, PUNK!!! What’s with the long face!?Say something you think would fit

Sans told me about Round 1’s results, and, we both knew you’d be kind of bummed about it… I was MAD, personally!!! How could people NOT vote for you and your cool songs!?!

Can it, camera, I’m being serious here!! Papyrus, you may have lost the first round, but that doesn’t mean you can’t climb to the top! Who doesn’t have an arc showcasing their VICTORY!? The tears, the BLOODSHED?!?

Crikey, you two are incredibly voiceforus! Could you kindly lower ya output volume by a couple of decibels a shmign- what in the outback?!?!?!

Ah, look here! It’s my homeboy Lil’ Baby John! It’s so wonderful to finally converse with ya usin’ this new acquired ability of mine, even though you can’t respond with full articulation in your unique swagger manner.

*gasp!* Whoa! Unreal! Perhaps it’s my next opponent, that bloody mongrel MissingNo, who’s responsible for this peculiar happenstance? Where is that absolute beauty of a creature? I must thank him for this blessing he has endowed on me!

It’s so lovely to be here! I’m so excited for this new opportunity to interact with my lovely fans. Hello everyone!

Oh, I’m not in control of what gets released or when. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything to tell you anything about Dan Salvato’s next game! He’s been very secretive about it, even with me.

Hehehe! Yes, I suppose I do know a lot of people! It’s hard being so popular… But I’m able to handle it by spending quality time with my true friends. Small groups are really what I prefer. Like for example, do you know that little kid, KO?

Oh no… I made a huge mess, I’m so sorry! I’ll clean it up right away!

Oh! Um…well the Professor reached out to me personally about… um…

…Bill! You shouldn’t be on the floor! I said I’d clean all that up!

Tiens, tu sais pourquoi il peut parler, au juste?

C’est celle avec les filles en style animé japonais?

J’le sens pas, j’le sens pas, j’le sens pas…

Oh hello.

So you’re giving this to me?

Heh. Car crash bandicoot.

Is this little chump supposed to be the American version of me…? I mean, I guess that’s pretty cool. I’m still totally cooler than you, though.

Ha! Please, I doubt you could ever say you’ve controlled a giant mecha before. I even have the power of transformation! Where’s YOUR belt? Are YOU able to do that, huh?

Oh yeah, that’s right! I can speak Japanese, too! Can you do that? あなたはとてもクールではありません！Ha!

I also want to say something! Girls of the tournament, we’re open for business.

Fuck… if we get through this, it’s definitely going in my tinder bio.

Yeah! Come get a taste of some real musicians. Catch ya later!

Wait, you think playing the hero card will be better than the fake cancer story? Damn, this must be good stuff.

Is that the best you could do, Chair Man!?

Damn right it is! A man’s peanut butter cup is his soul! I’m not letting some corporate asshole have the last one!

Simon, if we’re gonna win, we’re gonna have to bust out the big guns!

Bro, this guy’s seriously tough! I don’t think we stand a chance!

GIGA… DRILL… BREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAK!!!

Bro… if we keep going, we’ll be destroyed for sure. Surely there’s got to be another way to settle this. Maybe… you two could split the peanut butter cup?

…Those boys REALLY love their peanut butter.

He’s got a point, Kamina. It’d be better to split it than get yourselves killed over a snack.

Sorry, but we’ve still got a lot to do ourselves. Maybe I’ll pay this place another visit later though, hopefully under better circumstances. I swear, Kamina’s gonna get himself killed one day…

…what do you want?

When’s the last time you gave someone a hallucination of getting their eyes plucked out?

Are you out of your mind? Everyone will be eating their own fingers for dinner.

NO! NOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING, JUST DON’T PLAY IT AGAIN!

Alright… So, you might know me as Neil Cicierega. I’m somewhat of a prolific internet content creator, and under any other circumstances, that’d probably be that for an explanation. But due to some uh, “strange occurrences”, I’m now known as Allstar – a Phantom Thief of Hearts.

Well, it doesn’t really matter whether or not you believe me, this whole “interrogation” was more of a publicity stunt anyways. I got places to be and people to impress.

Oh, what’s up nerds.

Aight, this place smells like updog. Can we go and do something not boring now, for at least 10 minutes?

Yeah yeah, feel good feel good and all that- you got your light show last time.

Hello, everyone. I thought I heard someone call for me?

And how could I not be? Between him and that penguin I’ve seen around, I was getting robbed of worldwide recognition as the strongest Puyo popper in all the world.

Things are definitely much different today. These days, everyone recognizes me as the true king of Puyo, although a lot of people wouldn’t realize that by what they call me…

Was it you who summoned me?

Salutations.

Is that you, Jables? Where have you been my dude? I’ve had to cancel THREE Tenacious D shows on the Post-Apocalypto Tour! You have NO IDEA how EMBARRASSING it is to have to feature Amy Schumer as the opening act!

But wait…what about everything we’ve gone through to come as far as we have! Our meeting with the devil! Our *second* meeting with the devil! Our ASS TATTOOS! Jables, destiny is what has linked us together all these years! You can’t sit here and tell me that you’re going to disregard our FATE!

You know what, I’m gonna stop you right there: I QUIT! AGAIN! AND THIS TIME WE’RE *NOT* GONNA BE BACK TOGETHER!

It is I, Billy Herrington, and I would like to bring you and the viewers a message.

To Johnny Bravo, your muscles were a force to be reckoned with, my friend. You’ve shown us who the boss of this gym really is. You were a part of childhoods of many, and that shows with the voters. I wish you the best of luck.

Don’t just thank me, my friends. Thank all the beloved Nico Nico Douga memes that have a special place in people’s hearts. Without them, Nico Nico and you wouldn’t be where you are today.

Dude! We are SO happy to see your stupid face!

Oh yeah? Then why’d you leave without telling any of us, huh? What’s the big idea?

That joker had arrhythmia! He dropped dead during the 7:00 Saturday banger hour!

Careful you don’t bust on that grind, dude! This thing’s huge!

Alright, let’s look at the funk. We’re not just here for the thrills. Tokyo-to needs you back ASAP.

Yeah, you tellin’ us we sat on a dumb boat for nuthin’? You expecting us to go back empty handed? You’re out of your mind!

Yeah, fool! What’s your business over here that you got-ta be gone for like a whole month? Tokyo-to can’t run without you man!

Go do that Shinji crybaby garbage somewhere else, yo!

We got here on a boat, yo! We had to hide in the storage compartments! It was bad, yo!

Oooo kitty!

No!!

Mhm!!

Melody… Kimi no tame ni… Hmm, that’s not bad…

Hm?

Melody, everything is alright… Melody, everything is alright…

*decisive groans*

Why hello Cranky! I heard something about mooching off of other people’s success?

Mr. Bean? Never heard of him, so probably not worth my time… HMPH!

もしもし?

アラアアアア!

ランランルーーーーーー!!!

My?…Ohhhhhhhh! Piccolo, you’re so gullible! When I told you I had ligma it was a joke! Ligma balls, get it? Funny, huh!

Uh… yeahhhhh. You really need to start knowing how to take jokes, Piccolo.

Anyway, do you and your uh… friend there wanna go get something to eat? I’m starving after being suffocated by your hand.

…Typical.

…Silence.

…So they may be.

Unprepared for us? That’s not very professional of you two, you’re supposed to be a legitimate business, aren’t you~?

Is this true, Wario? You lost and you didn’t tell us?

I don’t like being lied to, but I like this idea. However I will be taking some “Insurance” in case you do fail.

So a researcher, a robotics engineer, an archaeologist AND you’re a scientist too? My heavens, I didn’t know those two actually had so many connections in our community, especially someone as yourself.

Why yes! I’m so excited to receive more funding for my scientific endeavors, and they’ll be more frequent too due to my new friendship with Scienstein here!

If you need any help with printing on a mass-produced scale, I’m sure one of my inventions can help!

I’m surprised too, those two don’t know a Megavitamin from a Flintstones vitamin, yet they know the great Dr. Crygor of Diamond City! Ohohohohoho!

Of course, perhaps we could work a successor to Super MakerMatic 21 but for Wario games! Those Nintendo people you work with aren’t doing enough with us, so we oughta do it ourselves!

I couldn’t agree more! Would’ve liked if you were more honest with us but no company nowadays is! Ohohoho!

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