Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Dramatic Reading
Project Overview
I wanted to make a dramatic reading of Harry Potter, and this will be it. I hope I will not get copywritten, but for now, let's all just have fun. Everyone must speak with a British accent unless instructed otherwise. A good quality mic is appreciated but not mandatory. What is mandatory is that you have no background noise and minimal echo. Remember, extras are needed as much as anyone else. Without the extras, the drama can't begin. So, if you notice the extras are empty, audition. What have you got to lose? Afterwards, please either have a copy of the Philosopher's Stone, or download a pdf from online. Thank you, and good luck.
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Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.
Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak.
(Nervous) Er -- Petunia, dear -- you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?
(Stern) There's no such thing as magic.
(Enraged)"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!
The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard yes, their son, Harry.
(Ecstatic) Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!
And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern.
Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?
Well, Ted, I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early -- it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight.
Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.
Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday.
Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. "We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful?" I was the only one to see her for what she was... a freak! And then she met that Potter. And then she had you, and I knew you would be the same. Just as strange, just as... abnormal. And then if you please, she went and got herself blown up, and we got landed with you.
(Amused) I should have known. Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.
(Gentle) You can't blame them. We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years.
My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You- Know-Who' nonsense -- for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort. It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name.
You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day.
(Impatient) Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right. You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no -- even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news. I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars.... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent -- I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense.
(Half exasperated, half admiring.) I know you haven't. But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of.
No, sir -- house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol.
(Sobbing) S-s-sorry. But I c-c-can't stand it -- Lily an' James dead -- an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles -
(Roars) NEVER - INSULT- ALBUS- DUMBLEDORE- IN- FRONT- OF- ME!