Pitch needs to be lower, much lower in fact as it sounds like you're straining your voice and coming off as almost croaking part of your lines. Delivery is somewhat balanced in pacing, but you lack a bit of that initial rhythm you had for the audition in your first lines. Tone is strange because I can tell that you want to have that aloof emotion to your voice yet it's your pitch and delivery working against your intent. What should be a calm and collected tone, ends up coming off as dull because it doesn't have the rhythmic pace behind your speech or the impact necessary to emote this.
