False Charming Pilot

Sorry about that last announcement, our previous captain had some issues. But don’t worry, we’ve “taken care of him”.

Try to stay in your seat because if you stand up, your body will be smashed against the wall, and that’s a huge mess we don’t want to clean up, and we don’t want a third lawsuit on our hands.

And we’re done. You may want to sit for a few seconds as to not shatter every bone in your body, and liquify your brain. Again, lawsuits.