Youtube Voice Actor

Have you ever talked to a friend in a bar? Great, then you are what I'm looking for!

Short recap, looking for a YouTube Voice Actor/Narrator, dunno which one is the right word, for longform narration (mainly commentary). The tone should feel conversational and human, not over-the-top, and definitely not robotic or commercial like.

Any accent is welcome really. Just looking for:

Native-level English (or extremely fluent) with clear pronunciation

Natural pacing + good storytelling instincts (you know when to slow down / emphasize, switch in pitch a lil', stretch words out, ad some ad-libs)

Clean audio quality (no room echo, hiss, keyboard noise, etc.)

Reliable turnaround + easy communication

Deliverables

1 clean audio file per script 

Demo lines (feel free to do about 3 takes of your conversational feeling for the highest chance at success, one of which in the style you'd go for yourself!):

At some point, everyone watching a horror movie has the same thought. Just call the cops and shoot the killer. Or do it yourself. It’s not that hard. A gun doesn't trip over its own feet, neither does it split up from the group. You point it at something and that something stops being a problem. Which got me thinking. I've got a Glock 18 and one 33-round magazine… Do I have a license? Do not ask me that. Am I any more competent than the people in horror movies? Do not ask me that either. What you should ask me is what we are doing next...