Devil May Cry: Budget Cut (Baines, Enzo, Vergil, Rabbit)
Error404 for William Baines
The fanatical, red-spectacled Vice President who runs DARKCOM like a high-yield spiritual pyramid scheme. He treats the US Constitution as a holy spellbook written to manifest defense budgets, barking orders with the terrifying authority of a megachurch dictator. He hides all Seven Deadly Sins behind a thick layer of federal paperwork, fully convinced that God personally authorized his tax-exempt crusade against Hell.
... 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘤 KEVIN CONROY! 𝘐’𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘦. 𝘍𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺... 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵.
"Our founding fathers didn't sign the Declaration of Independence just to let illegal immigrants from Hell skip the mandatory tithing to my campaign!"
"Think of the financial synergy, kid. You get to stab demons for the Lord, and I get to write off your strawberry sundaes as a fully subsidized national security expense."
