Hey there, wanted to comment to say that I love the second take (the one that has the less deep voice) but I think you’re severely lacking in delivery. It’d also help to add a slight growly aspect to it. If you improved on delivery and did that, I think it’d definitely be worthy of being shortlisted!
I will certainly take this in consideration, thank you for your criticism 🥂 I will hopefully learn from these mistakes in the future