I don't think you should be embarrassed at all !I felt like you had some good variation in your voice and you seemed to be projecting, but your enthusiasm did seem to peter out as you went on and it started to sound more like a list. Maybe try recording the beginning, taking a break, recording the next part, and so on and then stitching your best takes together? Just make sure you listen to the previous part right before you record so you can catch the rhythm and feeling of it! I enjoyed listening to you!

This was great! Don't be embarassed whatsoever, I thought this was a very nice read. My main feedback for you is to slow it down a little bit. I could tell you wanted to go strong and quick to nail that sales-type sort of voice, and while it works nicely, I'd rather you took your time to nail the projection and articulation over the fast pacing. I like your energy, too! Add even more of it, using your entire body to help truly bring the heat in your performance. Good job!