You laughed at how that Peter kid was frozen just in time for Christmas and then proceeded to call him a terrible Christmas tree whenever we walked by for 12 goddamn years.

It's your own fault. You always take your jokes too far Carter. They would've let it slip if you hadn't tried to put ornaments on him this year to push your point across. After that they took a closer look at your file and all your other stupid shit came to light *sigh* But hey look on the bright side you now get to be a mediocre chess piece in their grand new scheme. Beats being security for over a decade. Now that headquarters forced the boss to unfreeze her subject for "a greater purpose" she's been pissier than usual. Yesterday she took away 2185s lunch breaks because they brought her the wrong temperature coffee. Not to mention she's been throwing fireballs at your desk ever since you left. She hates that your punishment lets you be more involved in..whatever the new school plan is. Trust me. You're much safer with egotistical teens.

As important as Links ridiculous life making sense is to me. Believe it or not, I'm doing actual work. So go and do your job smartass. You can call me back when your world starts to crumble at the all-powerful hands of kids.