(spoken) It was my lucky day today

On Avenue A, when a lady in a limousine drove my way

She said, "Darling, be a dear, haven't slept in a year, 

I need your help to make my neighbor's yapping dog disappear."

This akita, Evita, just won't shut up.

I believe if you play non-stop that pup 

Will breathe it's very last high strung breath

I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death

(sung) Today 4 U

Tomorrow for me (x2)

We agreed on a fee

A thousand dollars guaranteed 

Tax free

(spoken) And a bonus if I trim her tree.

(sung) Now who could fortell

That it would go so well

But sure as I am here

That dog is now in doggy hell

(spoken) After an hour, Evita,

In all her glory

On the window ledge of that 23rd story

(sung) Like Thelma and Louise did

When they got the blues

Swan dove into the courtyard

Of the Gracie Mews