Linhardt: You've never seen the wierd sunburna that people get when wearing crocs?

Caspar: But they don't have holes in the top of those

Linhardt: Well no I meant the regular crocs you know the good ones

Caspar: Did u just insult my crocs

Byleth: Ok class, which weapons are you all using today?

‪Petra: “Swords!”‬

‪Dimitri: “Lances.”‬

‪Edelgard: “Axes.”‬

‪Claude: “Bows!”‬

‪Caspar: These hands.

Caspar: Tell him to eat shit, Linhardt.

Linhardt: Tell him yourself.

Caspar: EAT SHIT, ASSHOLE! AND FALL OFF YOUR HORSE!

Caspar: I have an assignment due tommorow and I've only written two words. My name.

Linhardt: Actually, your name isn't part of the assigment so technically, you've written nothing.

Caspar: Wow, thanks Linhardt, that's deeply motivating.

Ingrid: I can’t believe you guys broke the bed!

Sylvain: You two must have gone /wild/ last night!

Caspar: Uh, yeah…

-Flashback to the night before-

Dorothea: Hey Caspar, bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling!

Caspar: THE FUCK I CAN’T! YOU’RE ON!!!