D&D RadioLab Series: Kris Tells Veers (Episodes 7-11)

D&D RadioLab Series: Kris Tells Veers (Episodes 7-11)

Project Overview

What if NPR had a radio program in Dungeons and Dragons?

Kris Tells Veers is a fully voiced, narrative audio series set across the Dungeons & Dragons multiverse. (It is a pun on Crystal Spheres)
Presented in the tone of an interplanar public-radio broadcast, each episode follows journalists Kristof and Bruce Veers as they investigate bizarre phenomena, interview eccentric experts, and uncover cosmic mysteries across the Crystal Spheres.

The show blends dry humor, immersive world-building, and grounded performances — think NPR meets Spelljammer.
Each guest appears as a pre-recorded interview played back during the episode, allowing subtle realism and performance variety. Foley, scoring, and editing are handled in post-production; what we’re casting for are distinct, believable voices that sound like real people who happen to live in extraordinary worlds.

If you're not familiar with us, "Ogrid's Adventuring Club" is a podcast for a TTRPG group in Colorado Springs. We use audio to enhance real-time gaming experiences for a growing community of tabletop enthusiasts. Our listeners are passionate and engaged, tuning in regularly to immerse themselves in our world.

What We’re Looking For
  • Naturalistic performances — you’re speaking as if in a recorded interview.

  • Clear mic quality, minimal room echo.

  • Distinct vocal personalities: scholarly, mystical, rough-edged, or weary — whatever fits your character’s description below.

  • Passion for fantasy world-building, subtle humor, and collaborative storytelling.

Each role will only be about four or so lines.

You can audition for more than one role!
Each role includes two audition lines and a short personality guide.
(Scroll down to “Roles” for details.)

Catch Up on Previous Episodes

If you’d like to hear our tone, pacing, and production style, check out these earlier Kris Tells Veers features:

Tone & Direction
  • Genre: Fantasy / Cosmic Noir / Mock-Documentary

  • Style: Grounded, introspective, witty but sincere

  • Delivery: Think of a well-produced radio interview — conversational, authentic, never cartoony.

  • Recording: Clean, unprocessed WAV or high-quality MP3; no background music or filters.

Process after Casting
  • Trever Shirin will reach out to you to get Discord information (or email if that is preferred)

  • You will be sent a script and given an opportunity to ask any questions you may have

  • You will be requested to give any information you want to be shared by way of credits in the episode

  • Submission of files can be sent through discord or email

  • Once the episode releases you will be sent a link to the final product

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Latest Updates

  • Final Casting

    Thank you to everyone who has participated in the audition process for Kris Tells Veers! I'm so excited for the talent here. Many of you have already gotten me final assets, and the final recording for the episodes should be scheduled in December with a release of episodes throughout January.
    For everyone who is following this project, thank you. For those who auditioned but did not get assigned a role, know that there were really difficult decisions I had to make for each role. Please know that I would love to hear from you for future episodes, because I love writing these scripts!
    More to come from Kirs Tells Veers in the future!

  • 11/17 Update

    Thank you to everyone who has auditioned for this project, followed this project and referred others to this project. There have been some absolutely incredible auditions so far!
    I've had so many debates with myself about different casting for roles, which is great, and one of the reasons I so love CCC.
    I've been going through and casting for roles that feel like a perfect fit to what I've been looking for, and what's crazy is that some of the final assets for those roles have already been delivered. This leaves me both grateful, and full of energy to come up with more ideas for Kris Tells Veers episodes.
    If you have not been chosen in a role that has been closed, please don't be disheartened! Feel free to audition for other open roles, as for many of you I had a hard time not involving you in a role. I hope to see you audition for future projects as well and am very grateful for the time you took to look through my project and put your voice towards what we are doing at Ogrid's Adventuring Club. Please feel free to listen to the previous podcast episodes as well!

    I, for better or worse, keep adding the scripts which means there are probably still a couple of roles that will be added, and perhaps an extension on the deadline, though I'm hoping not to (I need to write new episodes instead of making these ones longer).

    Thank you again to everyone who has been involved so far!

  • Wednesday Update

    Thank you everyone who has auditioned! I have been working yesterday, today, and tomorrow so I have been sneaking in time to listen to all of the auditions when I can.

    Tomorrow evening I will go through them fully, and will probably begin assigning a role or two here and there as well. I also have four more roles to add in the next week for the Aethera episode (I just don't have the script fully finalized for that one)

    For those who are assigned a role, I'll be reaching out for your discord information and then sending you the script as well as submission details and request for how you want to be credited.

    Thanks again everyone! Really, really pleased with the turn out!

    Feel free to message me if you have questions.

Project Roles: Lester Festering - Franklin's Marketing Specialist Administrator Veliss Tenhand – Auditor for the Draconic Concord Lady Carinth – Historian of the Platinum Order Dragonborn Chanter (High) Dragonborn Chanter (Mid) Dragonborn Chanter (Low) Meret Var — Court Historian of Schleswig Franklin the Goblin – Founder & CEO Trixa Boondle – Head of Temporal Operations Void Dragon Sibilance - Whisperer of Truths in The Astral Sea Oswald Stormhammer — Dwarven Industrialist, Creator of the Starbolins Navigator Myra Tross — Explorer of the Reyna Islands High Magister Pleneth – Archmage of the Celestial Library Jax Marr – Tactical Courier Arch-Priest Eir Faldur — High Cleric of the Gray Basilica Captain Judge Queen Anne Wellwater II — Monarch of Judication Idonea — Bard of the Guild of Hanlan Professor Nim Wizzlebrass – Head of Research & Development Captain Brann Kuld – Commander of the Tower Guard Callidus Dux - Patrician of Continent Tor Halvig The Voice from the Tower Professor Veyra Lorn — Planar Anthropologist Sir Thalmerax – Red Dragon Knight of the Vermilion Order Pippa Quickwick – R&D Customer Runa Vex — Cartographer of Impossible Spaces Sisterhood Scout — Agent of the Sisterhood of Stars Bertrand Ranke - Wizard Historian Captain Orla Venn – Adventurer & Frequent Customer Gladiimitis - Compassionate Solider Reginald Bex – Interplanar Economist Vagabundus - Researcher and Authority on Political Theory Scholar Glynn — Archivist of Endymion Vir Ferrum - Aetheran Soldier Narrator - Narrator Voice for Small sub-Radio Theater Portion Benignus - Citizen within Aethera Franklin's Freight Jingle Singer
Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Lester Festering - Franklin's Marketing Specialist
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Liebou

Intelligent goblin in charge of marketing for Franklin's Freights.

  • Sing the jingle for loot transportation, but only when the fight is done, the dragon felled, or the curse lifted.

  • Using a coupon summons a goblin courier—already holding what you were about to ask for.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Administrator Veliss Tenhand – Auditor for the Draconic Concord
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: LTaylor

Polite, officious, overly composed; bureaucrat with unshakable patience.

  • Every duel, every shipment, every hatchling’s education—everything must be logged. Even rebellion requires a permit.

  • Dragons make war with fire. We make peace with paperwork.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Lady Carinth – Historian of the Platinum Order
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Amanda

Soft-spoken, mournful, poetic. Sounds wise but weary.

Voice description:
  • female adult
  • Some say reunion will heal the scar. Others fear it will wake the buried god.

  • We train for peace and sharpen our blades for when peace fails.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Dragonborn Chanter (High)
closed
Unpaid

A Gregorian chant sung by Dragonborn cultists as the recycle the dead into knights for their king in a dark demi plane.

Voice description:
  • High
  • Clean
  • presentation
  • Brick by bone, the black walls rise,

  • Death below and darkened skies.

  • Breath to dust, and dust to call, Dauðrskalla—take us all.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Dragonborn Chanter (Mid)
closed
Unpaid

A Gregorian chant sung by Dragonborn cultists as the recycle the dead into knights for their king in a dark demi plane.

Voice description:
  • Mid
  • Brick by bone, the black walls rise,

  • Death below and darkened skies.

  • Breath to dust, and dust to call, Dauðrskalla—take us all.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Dragonborn Chanter (Low)
closed
Unpaid

A Gregorian chant sung by Dragonborn cultists as the recycle the dead into knights for their king in a dark demi plane.

Voice description:
  • Low
  • deep
  • Brick by bone, the black walls rise,

  • Death below and darkened skies.

  • Breath to dust, and dust to call, Dauðrskalla—take us all.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Meret Var — Court Historian of Schleswig
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Jill F

Tired bureaucrat; dignified but hollow-eyed. Speaks like someone who keeps records to avoid thinking about what they mean. Mid-low pitch, calm, slightly clipped delivery.

  • The first stones appeared after the Incursion—black marble pushing through farmland. We called it a miracle. We were wrong.

  • Every morning the Tower casts a longer shadow; every evening, someone insists it was always that long.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Franklin the Goblin – Founder & CEO
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Lee Cherolis

Fast-talking, endlessly enthusiastic, evangelical about logistics. He genuinely believes the Prophet Ezekiel’s “holy aura” made him start the company. A little unhinged, but charmingly so.
Mid to high pitch, warm, energetic, and full of comic conviction.

Voice description:
  • male adult
  • gruff
  • high pitched
  • Goblinoid
  • almost whining
  • Ezekiel looked at me like destiny owed him change! I signed one receipt and—bam!—I’m the CEO of fate, freight, and frequently asked questions!

  • If the Prophet shows up again, I’ll comp his shipping. It’s the least I can do for divine inspiration.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Trixa Boondle – Head of Temporal Operations
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Amy Lam
Voice description:
  • slightly sardonic tone
  • calm
  • mid-range
  • Technically every delivery is on time—some just arrive before they’re ordered.

  • If you ever meet yourself delivering the same package, sign for it politely and walk away.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Void Dragon
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Tristan

Melodramatic enemy of Captain Judge. Go full gritty one liners.

Voice description:
  • male adult
  • When the seas are gone, your laws will dry with them! When the oceans are dry, my shadows will walk where ships once sailed.

  • You cannot kill what’s eternal!

  • You can’t end the void–it swallows everything!

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Sibilance - Whisperer of Truths in The Astral Sea
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Jill F

A being of unknown origin to floats through space, offering wisdom and guidance upon the future... at a cost. Earie, unnatural, soft and whispy

  • The tower is a precursor of the end, a symbol in the land of the soon to die of what awaits them in the victory of the Hallow Star.

  • The Tower is the victors crown maturing for the moment of coronation.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Oswald Stormhammer — Dwarven Industrialist, Creator of the Starbolins
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Doctor_Throwback

Gruff, booming, proud craftsman energy. A salesman who can’t help but pitch, even when describing nightmares. Low range, gravelly, energetic pacing.

Voice description:
  • irish
  • swedish
  • scottish
  • Graveled
  • deep
  • male adult
  • Starbolins keep Ezili running—clockwork crew, polishers, even law clerks! I built them to endure salt air and arrogant sailors in equal measure.

  • People say the sea never rests. Neither do my machines.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Navigator Myra Tross — Explorer of the Reyna Islands
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Natasha V.

Cheerful, adventurous, practical. Sounds like someone who’s seen far too much but still loves the sea. Mid-range, warm tone, light island accent or sailor dialect welcome.

Voice description:
  • female adult
  • neutral spanish
  • Imagine sailing west for weeks, thinking you’ll find another port—then the horizon just ends. The sea spills off the edge in a red glow, and you can see the spray freeze mid-fall.

  • We call it the Eternal Edge. Some captains throw flowers before turning back. It’s our way of saying sorry to gravity.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
High Magister Pleneth – Archmage of the Celestial Library
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: David Wamala

Elderly and scholarly, dignified but slightly unhinged.

  • When Azazel sought dominion, we cast her down—but the spell misfired. The sky bled, the world split, and the wound remembers.

  • We sealed the breach with will and fire. But fire is never still.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Jax Marr – Tactical Courier
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Chewie

Goblin delivery employee for Franklin Freights, working the job to put food on the table for his tribe of lil ones.

  • Delivery for Bruce Veers... Looks like a copy of Franklin Freights: A Love Story

  • Please give us a ratin' an I'll be owf

  • We knew yous was gonna call. Here ye are.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Arch-Priest Eir Faldur — High Cleric of the Gray Basilica
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: BreadAcres

Nordic/Icelandic accent preferred (approx. ‘DOHTH-ur-SKAH-lah’ for Dauðrskalla). Measured, resonant; speaks as if reciting scripture carved in stone.

  • We call it Dauðrskalla — the Skull of Death. To worship it is forbidden. To ignore it is impossible.

  • It feeds because we feed it. The King brings the meal; the Tower says grace.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Captain Judge
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Matterdad

Not gonna lie, this is Judge Dredd, just a captain in a made up world within our D&D canon. Go full Dredd.

Voice description:
  • male adult
  • gritty
  • Over Dramatic
  • Intense
  • Order is the anchor, chaos the undertow. You came from Cella-Five to drain my ocean? Then drown in your own ambition.

  • (Not your line: You cannot kill what’s eternal!) Good. I prefer life sentences.

  • (Not your line: You can’t end the void–it swallows everything!) Then open wide. I’ve got a verdict to deliver.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Queen Anne Wellwater II — Monarch of Judication
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Fizzyemi

Regal but empathetic; deliberate, composed authority. Speaks with conviction and clarity. Medium-to-low pitch, clear enunciation, commanding presence.

Voice description:
  • female adult
  • Order is the anchor that keeps us from drifting into chaos. Our laws are harsh because the sea is harsher.

  • The Guiding Light must never go dark. When it does, that’s when the pirates sing.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Idonea — Bard of the Guild of Hanlan
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Amanda Lynn Newkirk

Roguish charm, quick wit, a touch of melancholy. Speaks like someone who’s seen truth in too many songs. Light, lyrical tone, slightly theatrical but grounded.

Voice description:
  • sing song
  • Elegant
  • female adult
  • bardic
  • Every song we write is a map back to a place we can’t remember. Maybe that’s nonsense—but songs remember truths before scholars do.

  • We sing of Cella-Five, though none of us have seen it. Maybe we just miss something the sea can’t give back.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Professor Nim Wizzlebrass – Head of Research & Development
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Smol Solace

Excitable, scatterbrained scientist. Cheerful menace in every sentence.

Voice description:
  • occasional giggle or breathless enthusiasm
  • quick speech
  • mid-to-high pitch
  • On Tuesdays, a potion may produce wings! We don’t guarantee where they sprout.

  • Please return the feedback form if you’re still corporeal!

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Captain Brann Kuld – Commander of the Tower Guard
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Cullen Malley

Gruff, pragmatic, darkly funny. Speaks like a soldier who’s long stopped believing in victory.

  • We used to build walls to keep the dead out. Now we build lines to send them in.

  • The King says the Tower tests courage. I say it measures stupidity in corpses per step.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Callidus Dux - Patrician of Continent
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Travis Himebaugh

Contentious, political leader of a roman inspired culture. They are very formal, haughty, and regal in how they speak.

  • We are the people, and the people are one. Those barbarians to the West are fools to stand agains the tides of change.

  • Such accusations are dishonoring to our Lords, I shall not hear them any longer. Away from me, quickly, before I have you seized.

  • Our systems are clear, concise, and designed by the people, for the people, the people we serve and speak for are pleased by our actions, certainly.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Tor Halvig
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: JazzCat

Frightened, fragmented, and twitchy. Every line sounds like a nightmare remembered mid-sentence.

Voice description:
  • timid
  • Scared
  • male adult
  • Worried
  • female adult
  • Hands in the floor… black as oil… pulling the screams down.

  • It wanted me to keep climbing. I did. I still am.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
The Voice from the Tower
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Jeremiah

Genderless, ethereal, haunting. Calm, not monstrous. Almost inviting.

Voice description:
  • Ethereal
  • deep
  • inhuman
  • strange
  • creature
  • If you climb high enough, you will find where you began.

  • The Tower is not a place. It is a memory of one

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Professor Veyra Lorn — Planar Anthropologist
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Adam Brighter

Calm, clinical scholar; unnervingly composed while describing horror. Clear diction, precise pacing, slightly detached tone.

  • At the summit lies a demiplane — a workshop where death is redesigned.

  • They call themselves the Dragonborn of the Void. They believe the end is not destruction but refinement.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Sir Thalmerax – Red Dragon Knight of the Vermilion Order
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Pryce Cleaver

Deep, resonant, knightly; confident and proud, like a warrior-philosopher.

Voice description:
  • Chivilrous
  • english
  • confident
  • male adult
  • clear
  • A red dragon’s flame is passion, not merely destruction. Our squires learn to temper that fire with duty.

  • To wear a color is to bear a burden.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Pippa Quickwick – R&D Customer
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Josie B.

Delightfully optimistic adventurer; oblivious to danger, thrilled by chaos.

Voice description:
  • bright
  • high-energy delivery
  • Cheerful
  • Your Pinkify Prototype turned me bright pink for a week! Loved it. Matched my boots.

  • Then the Gratitude Draft made me dedicate every coin I earned to a tree spirit. Also loved it! Learned budgeting!

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Runa Vex — Cartographer of Impossible Spaces
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Skelly Wabbit

Young, androgynous voice; soft wonder tinged with exhaustion. Speaks like a poet forced to describe nightmares. Mid-range; airy tone; faint accent welcome.

Voice description:
  • Urchan
  • Streetsmart
  • child
  • Every map I draw folds itself when I sleep. By dawn, the halls have moved again.

  • The Tower doesn’t grow up—it grows through us.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Sisterhood Scout — Agent of the Sisterhood of Stars
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Amy Lam

Mysterious, whispery, patient. Feels like she’s always half in shadow. Soft delivery, slow pacing, ethereal tone.

Voice description:
  • female adult
  • We move by signs—branches laid crosswise, stones in spirals. The sky has forgotten us, so we speak through the earth.

  • In the red storms, you see flickers of white. The Sisters say those are windows to the beyond.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Bertrand Ranke - Wizard Historian
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Neonredmask

Bertrand is a historian of magic in the world who goes through the history of long forgotten spells and their originators. He is measured, formal, and critical in his approach to evidence.
I'm thinking lots of vocal fry, but happy to know how you would approach the cahracter.

Voice description:
  • male adult
  • icelandic
  • british
  • bserved minor auditory hallucinations post-casting. Possible sympathetic feedback loop between subject and illusion.

  • Evidence of Aum-Shadar’s influence predates even the proto-Netherese inscriptions by several millennia; the oldest runes bear traces of both prayer and spellcraft, as though the first mortals still could not distinguish worship from survival. I have attempted three of the lesser workings from this grimoire. The results were… humbling.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Captain Orla Venn – Adventurer & Frequent Customer
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Steven DuChene

Loud, confident, battle-hardened, and gleefully dramatic. Loves a good story and a good sale.
Medium to low pitch, hearty laugh, storyteller cadence.

Voice description:
  • Medium to low pitch
  • Storyteller cadence
  • Hearty Laugh
  • Mid-ogre, sword snaps, I sing the jingle, and pop—there’s a goblin courier with my replacement sword and a free sticker!

  • The ogre stopped to read the sticker. Best crowd control I’ve ever bought!

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Gladiimitis - Compassionate Solider
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Alexander Von Everec

Roman centurion who is kind hearted and seems to genuinely care for people. This role will have to give a short monologue akin to Tears in the Rain from Blade Runner

  • I’ve seen the sky split open… like wet cloth tearing in a storm.

  • I’ve watched creatures of light and shadow spill out of seams we were too small to mend.

  • And in the middle of all that breaking… all that unmaking… the only weapon we had left was kindness. The world fell apart. But we… we held hands with our common man as it did.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Reginald Bex – Interplanar Economist
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: JSVA

Dry, upper-class, HIGHLY caffeinated and definitely not impartial towards Franklin Freight.

Voice description:
  • measured pacing
  • male adult
  • Low to Mid range
  • You can’t tax what arrives before the invoice. Believe me, we’ve tried.

  • Economically disastrous, of course. Five eras, five competing currencies, and absolutely no respect for standardized taxation.

  • If you pump enough magic into an economy without regulation, you get exactly this: optimism, overextension, and eventual implosion. Classic case.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Vagabundus - Researcher and Authority on Political Theory
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Matt Weight

Roman historian who is overly involved in political theory, conspiracy, and how one thing inevitably leads to another, and after a leap of logic, you arrive at a Duck controlling the tides of history.

  • Praise the Dim for the protections around Aethera from those who would wish this world harm.

  • You think you chose your beliefs? No, the grain market did. Faith follows the harvest.

  • When magic died, we inherited its skeleton. We study the ruins, the relics, the broken monuments of five histories… because that is what Aethera is.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Scholar Glynn — Archivist of Endymion
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: The REAL Steve Rogers

Nervous, fast-talking intellectual who finds meaning in math. Speaks as though his ideas might combust. Higher register, slightly nasal or jittery cadence.

  • The trajectory doesn’t make sense—it’s not drifting, it’s propelled. There’s a missing core segment acting as an engine.

  • If you plot the course, it’s heading toward one coordinate. Some believe that’s… home.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Vir Ferrum - Aetheran Soldier
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Jordan Anderson

Honorable scavenger and warrior of a ruined world, full of hope in a time of destruction.

  • We walk through ruins of ages we never lived.

  • e salvage relics of heroes we never met. Every battle we fight is hopeless — but not meaningless.

  • If Aethera remembers its past, then so must we. Our victories are small, but our courage is ancient.

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Narrator - Narrator Voice for Small sub-Radio Theater Portion
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Amanda B.

I want this to either be the most intense warrior estrogen vibe or way too much testosterone, all in a very professional control. This role is the narrator for a OVERDRAMATIC comic that is a spin off of Judge Dredd and Doom Guy

  • On Ezili, the sea is the law’s domain. And tonight… the tide stands trial.

  • On Ezili, the sea connects every nation… and every crime. Judication keeps the waves honest. And Captain Judge? He keeps everything else afraid.

  • Next Week on Captain Judge

Voice Actor
Voice Actor
Benignus - Citizen within Aethera
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: Vixere

Have at it! Think roman citizen and do what you think is right!

  • I believe the leaders are disconnected enough from the farmfolk as to not know what we are facing during these attacks.

  • At night, the beasts come and eat our crops, the soldiers try to defend us, but even they are defenseless against such brutish beasts.

  • Life is good here... for some. For others, well, I hate to say it, but they simply haven't adopted the system or rule, that's why they suffer within it.

Singer
Singer
Franklin's Freight Jingle Singer
closed
Unpaid
Role assigned to: mackinmeat

Think 1950s “buy now!” tune or old-fashioned fantasy tavern radio ad. You're welcome to go in whatever direction you want with it, but it should just be a sing-song version of this rhyme.

  • When your loot’s too heavy and your quest’s too long, Just sing the jingle, you can’t go wrong. Franklin’s Freights — we’re already on the way!

  • Franklin’s Freights, don’t make me wait! Anywhere, Anywhen—deliver my fate!

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