Haunted Audiobook
Project Overview
A fan-made audio book of Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted. To summarize the book, 17 adventurous writers with their own dark secrets visit a writer's retreat where nothing is as it seems.
The unique part about this interpretation of the book is that the lines are read by the characters in succession. As each one dies/disappears, the narration is limited to whoever is left. It is up to who gets which lines.
There is also a poet. They are the objective viewer of the situation, and they are the closest thing to a narrator. While their part is smaller, they are just as important.
Please message me your email and Skype so I can aid in the process of choosing who says what. I'm looking forward to hearing all of your unique voices!
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Very mater-of-fact. Stern, like a non-forgiving teacher.
(matter of fact) His name is Cora. I didn't name him.
A police officer has to protect a Satan worshipper. You don't get to pick and choose.
If it helps, just think of these things as seventy-pound condoms...
Actually a teenager with progeria, so it's kinda hard to pinpoint how to do the voice. Kind of pretentious, oddly menacing. Nasally but wavering.
Writer's Retreat: Abandon your life for three months.
Look at the stains in the lobby carpet... See how those stains have arms and legs?
Would it be so bad? To be the last two people in the world?
She's the closest to a mother anyone has. Lacking lips after attempting to rescue an injured colleague. Don't have to talk w/o lips, but if possible, try.
Most of us have quit trying to break the furnace after it's been fixed by the ghost.
Sometimes, sure, you're trapped. Other times... you just sit down for what turns out to be the rest of your life.
Even if God won't forgive us... we can still forgive him.
Only reads the poems. They are basically a ghostly representation of victims past.
A gun. A scope. Good aim and a motorcade.
Mrs. Clark onstate, her arms wrap across the front of her, each hand cupping the other elbow to cradle breasts chosen by a much braver woman. With a much stronger back.
This was supposed to be a writer's retreat. It was supposed to be safe.
Big, burly, professional. Think someone who knows what they're doing.
It's better Mr. Whittier died offstage. This way leaves us to script the worst.
Easy as skinning a chicken breast. Christ Almighty, I do love these knives...
To become a household word, all you need is a rifle.
Almost like an animal about to pounce, he is quiet but always on edge. Portray that in his voice.
It turns out this wasn't a real date.
The floor feels so sticky, the carpet, that every step tries to pull off your shoe.
That night will become a legend. The Mythology of Us.
Often seen observing others, very pensive. Reflect this in his voice.
Who's the bigger fool? The reporter who refuses to invent a meaning for life? Or the reader who wants it?
He's asleep, still smiling, when I slip the gun into his mouth.
No, a theater is built to exclude the outside reality and allow actors to build their own.
A bit snotty, kind of pretentious. Knows everything before it happens. That probably contributes to her personality.
Yes, I did just read your mind.
With all the studio top brass sitting around her Mexican table, Monroe drinks champagne and tells them she plans to kill herself.
It's in the Italian Renaissance lounge that Mrs. Clark finds Director Denial slumped over a heavy, dark wood table.
She's the closest to a mother anyone has. Lacking lips after attempting to rescue an injured colleague. Don't have to talk w/o lips, but if possible, try.
Most of us have quit trying to break the furnace after it's been fixed by the ghost.
Sometimes, sure, you're trapped. Other times... you just sit down for what turns out to be the rest of your life.
Even if God won't forgive us... we can still forgive him.
Somewhat apathetic, a little bored. Not knowing or caring about what to expect. Slowly grows more aggressive and matter of fact as the situation gets worse. Mid-low voice
Inhale. Take in as much air as you can.
People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway"... It means that moment when you find the answer and it's too late.
Trust me, I happen to know a lot about human insides.
Somewhat of a ditz, but business-savvy and thoughtful of others. Takes on a business mom role sometimes. When danger strikes, she becomes "loopy", to understate the feeling. Higher voice, more nasally.
I'm always looking for what's NOT to like.
Losing all that blubber was really the only heroic thing I've ever done. If I gain it back, then it'll be like I never lived.
(desparate and oddly cheerful) I was so hungry. Last night, I ate all my lipstick.
A young and ambitious artist. Someone who is willing to get ahead any ways possible. Sensing pride in his voice.
No, any resemblance between these characters and anyone living or dead is just a complete accident.
Before I used to sell a painting, I used to be the opposite of an art thief.
We all sit here, watching each other. Waiting for the next plot point or bit of dialogue to catch and squirrel away for our next marketable version of the truth.
Pretending to be poor out of boredom, she is somewhat established and educated. Sounds logical, but isn't.
We're all... some kind of genius. Just, some of us in other ways.
In the boring new world of everyone in the upper middle class, Inky says nothing helps you enjoy your bidet than peeing in the street for a few hours.
It's my late husband, created and made into a three carat diamond...
Kind of down-to-earth, hippy personality. Somewhat disturbed, can be very sarcastic. Becomes somewhat "broken" near the end of the book. Mid-low voice
Don't laugh, but in aromatherapy, they warn you never to light a lemon-cinnamon candle at the same time you light a clove candle and a cedar-nutmeg candle. They just don't tell you why...
(distraught) How can you be so awake?
Don't be stupid. He knows you're infected with that... brain virus. How can you possibly believe he really loves you?
A drag queen with a hatred of religion. Don't get overtly "sassy" or flamboyant, Reverend is very tough and aggressive in his beliefs. It's okay to have him with a higher voice, though.
You put on a curly red wig, lip-synch to Bette Midler at the Collaris County Fair and Rodeo, and offer people the chance to punch your face at ten bucks a shot, and you can make some real money.
Everyone, our hands are wrapped in bloody rags. Gloves hang flapping-loose with fingers empty. Shoes are stuffed with balled up socks to replace missing toes.
Every bag had a good until date that wouldn't come until we were dead. A shelf life until most babies would be dead.
Almost like an animal about to pounce, he is quiet but always on edge. Portray that in his voice.
It turns out this wasn't a real date.
The floor feels so sticky, the carpet, that every step tries to pull off your shoe.
That night will become a legend. The Mythology of Us.
Constantly sniffling and coughing. Youngest of the group, somewhat naive. Remains quiet through most of the story, but hopeful.
Here, we were the modern equivalent of the people at Villa Diodari... Just people telling stories out loud to each other.
The ghost light is our only campfire left. Our last chance.
Except for the fact that they're each carrying their own personal potentially world-pandemic plagues, they're the healthiest batch of folks you could ever not want to meet.
Constantly sniffling and coughing. Youngest of the group, somewhat naive. Remains quiet through most of the story, but hopeful.
Here, we were the modern equivalent of the people at Villa Diodari... Just people telling stories out loud to each other.
The ghost light is our only campfire left. Our last chance.
Except for the fact that they're each carrying their own personal potentially world-pandemic plagues, they're the healthiest batch of folks you could ever not want to meet.
The lady in charge. Has been a part of too much pain, and reflects it when she speaks.
The night before she disappeared, Cassandra cut off her eyelashes.
We still create the drama and pain we need, but this first disaster is a vaccination, an innoculation.
Cassandra, honey? You need to tell the police everything.
Constantly filming something. Gruff, but not as gruff as the Missing Link.
Not every day was filled with terror.
Inside the briefcase, a rubber band wraps a thick stack of business cards, all of them saying: Lewis Lee Orleans, Private Investigator.
According to Mrs. Clark, the average person burns sixty-five calories per hour while asleep.
Somewhat soothing voice, but not very cheerful. Very grim, almost, or disappointed motherly.
Silly names for real people. As if you cut open a rag doll and found inside: Real intestines, real lungs, a beating heart, blood.
Mr. Whittier is not our biggest problem.
It was the summer people quit complaining about the price of gasoline.The summer when they stopped bitching about what shows were on television.
A bit of a cowboy type. Chews tobacco, constantly has something in his mouth. Acts smug and pompous.
In the Arabian Nights gallery, you can see your breath steaming in the cold air above the cushion where Mr. Whittier used to sit.
If you love something, set it free.
You might go to war, the uncle says. Or you might get cholera and die. Or, he says, and moves one hand sideways, left to right, in the air below his belt buckle: Shoo-rook...
As the name suggests, very snarky and sarcastic. Believes herself to be right most of the time. Arrogant.
My character wouldn't be crying. I'll swear by the rose tattooed on my ass, that old man raped me.
Purely ornamental, I assume. And of no nutritional value...
From the minute he sat down, we tried to explain... We don't allow men.
A bit snotty, kind of pretentious. Knows everything before it happens. That probably contributes to her personality.
Yes, I did just read your mind.
With all the studio top brass sitting around her Mexican table, Monroe drinks champagne and tells them she plans to kill herself.
It's in the Italian Renaissance lounge that Mrs. Clark finds Director Denial slumped over a heavy, dark wood table.
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