A fun bastardization of the first 10-15 or so minutes of Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn, because why not?
A couple of guys made jokes about Catgirl Scouts and I wanted to see if I could extend that joke as far I possibly can/am willing to. Simply put, this is an abridging for a video game (if that's even a thing). The content will be crass and risky/suggestive (think SMG4), but it's nothing graphic or explicit; either way, just be mindful when auditioning in case that's not your thing.
In order to audition, you must:
- Be over 18 years of age.
- Be OK with swearing if it calls for it.
- Have at least a fair bit of knowledge of Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (a recommendation rather than a requirement, really)
Overall, this is a just-for-fun project fueled by boredom, so have fun with it.
Thanks to everyone who auditioned for the project. At first I didn't think I'd get much attention, but it's nice to find people who are willing to invest in a literal joke of an idea.
That being said, I'm going to extend the deadline because I forgot a couple of things. There's one additional character I forgot to add to and I wasn't clear on some of the character descriptions, so I'll update them. If you've already submitted an audition, feel free to send in another one.
A simple Miqo'te girl who aspires to make and sell cookies to all of Eorzea. For what purpose? Only she knows... probably. But this business has complications she did not forsee, and she's about to learn them the Eorzean way.
Catgirl might be inexperienced and comically inept, but she's not stupid--in fact, she can be surprisingly sassy when certain things start irritating her.
For her voice, I'd like something a bit ditzy and playful--maybe even teasing and suggestive, but don't go overboard. Also this character will swear so be prepared for that as well. (Preferably Middle-tone)
Hello! I'd like to sign up to become a Catgirl Scout and sell Catgirl Cookies... and some Catgirl Milk, if you know what I mean... wink wink nudge nudge.
THIS! This right here is the problem! You never mentioned GEOMETRY being a part of a Catgirl Scout! I'm bad at geometry!
(IMPROV: Say what you think this character would say based on the information given)
A lalafell Guild Receptionist who runs the Adventurer's Guild in Ul'dah. She's supposed to put up a friendly, joyful front for the new adventurers, but the guild's reputation of being the gathering place for ERP has left her radically jaded--to a comically dark degree.
For her voice, I'd like a Southern accent--also be able to switch between joyful and apathetic.
(Friendly tone) Well, howdy there darlin' and welcome to our fair city of Ul'dah--where the desert heat ain't the only thing making you sweaty and thirsty!
(Irritated tone) ...You do realize that bein' a Catgirl Scout is like 17 different fetishes rolled up into one, right?
(IMPROV: Say what you think this character would say based on the information given)
As the Guild Receptionist of Limsa Lominsa, (and the place where you go to pick up both cook and book, fittingly) he's the one who starts guiding Catgirl in the right direction to become a Catgirl Scout. Though he's not above making fun of her.
For his voice, I'd like the usual pirate talk, but with something thrown in to make it unique. What that is, I leave that to you.
Well lassie, you may just have a reading problem. In which case, LMAO GIT GUD SKRUB COPE+SEETHE
I usually don't say this on account of it being a hurtful stereotype, but consider me timbers SHIVERED!
(IMPROV: Say what you think this character would say based on the information given)
A mysterious Miqo'te Catgirl meets. May or may not be drunk.
Can be done with any voice, but preferably something like this.
I am the bear that waves. I am the guide that winds. I am born a guy--then die. Thus reads the Stoner's Requiem, or something like that.
(IMPROV: Take any non-spoiler line said by this character and absolutely butcher it)
The mother crystal that bestows Catgirl the power of reading.
Much like the game, give her a divine, calm voice.
Hear. Feel. Think.
My child, I shall grant you power to stand against the darkness. The power of reading and anime.
Just an absolute child doubling as a loan shark saying the most hilariously adult things involving money and beating people up for not paying.
Go wild with this one. But if you can't think of anything, think Text-to-Speech Justin.
(IMPROV: Come up with a short, random loan-shark-esque line)
oH pLeAsE gO eAsY oN mE hAvE mErCy!1!1
Oh YeAh HiT mE wItH tHoSe TaX rEfOrMSsSsS BaBy~~
The Guild Receptionist for the Adventurer's Guild in Gridania. Straightforward and strict. Doesn't show up for much.
I would appreciate it if you used your REAL name --there's a special place in the seventh hell for those who use "amusing" aliases.
He's just there. He follows you wherever you go. And he's certainly going to talk your ear off about the current state of Eorzean affairs. He's been thinking about starting up a crystal meth business, but Catgirl wants none of it.
So anyways, I've been thinking about starting up a crystal business. Y'know, what with the calamity having dried up the lands resources and whatnot. In these times, people have been becoming more desperate--even relying on crystals! It may seem like a stretch, but I think being able to revitalize Eorzea with crystals is genius! Though, I'm fairly certain I'm not the first bloke to think of the idea. There was another... What was his name again? Wilson Wheat? Soss Bakkah? Well, that won't stop me from trying either way. I may be old, but I've got big plans in store for the land!
A guy with a mask. One of the shady characters that Hydaelin warns Catgirl about. They're pretty evil... or they're just dank.
Come to the dark side. We've got cookies.
(IMPROV: Say whatever you think fits as the agent of darkness... or dankness)
