Wanted for an audio drama skit about 3 minutes in length That I plan to pitch to audible. This is a PROOF OF CONCEPT script to present to Audible for a full series. The work is very light, little more than an hour of recording time needed. offering about 25 USD per role.
Premise: Kobolds are diminutive reptilian gremlins who take pride in serving their great Dragon Master in their not-at-all evil Lair. But when the great Dragon Gougenvore suffers a fate of 'death by overexposure to kobold love,' Three Kobolds embark on an adventure to find a new Dragon to lead the Kobold clan: "Fine, You're a Clan Now, Just Let Me Sleep." Or clan fine for short.
This is a madcap adventure with lots of silly jokes, misundersandings, and lots and lots of broken english.
WHAT IS A KOBOLD: A Kobold is about 2-3 feet tall. They are not very smart. they are not very strong. and they do not live very long. not because they have a short life span, but because they regularly befall an untimely demise from a cross of overbearing curiosity and diminutive attention span.
Kobold voice recommendations: I’m looking for something a little high pitched but not shrill and too annoying to listen to. A good example would be the grunts from halo:
https://youtu.be/bywbnEBx7xI
Another EXAMPLE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipGCZ8lzfGE
Strap is the leader of a group of kobolds working to find their new dragon. Inquisitive, cheerful, and a little dim. Strap wants nothing more than to use his uncommon ingenuity with various traps to protect his master. Strap is the closest we have to an everyman in our cast (for KOBOLDS at least). He has a bit of an authoritative voice when he's organizing the group, but he's also a silly little kobold who enjoys fun, shinies, fighting, and explosions as much as the next kobold. He might be a little dumb like most kobolds, but he possesses heart, passion, and a depth of wisdom that we'll eventually discover as the show goes on. But here, he's just an excitable kobold. For most kobolds I'm looking for a bit of childlike, and a bit animalistic, like a feral Elmo. but please take your interpretations however you want to go!
NOTE: Strap can be male or female, there are no restrictions for who auditions.
(giving orders) Okay! Trap-a-snap's bout to open! Stabbies up! Annnnnnnd- Wait hold on I'm not ready. I'll be right back.
I’m gonna show him my biggest trap yet! And show him that I can set up all his tunnels so the pinkskins will never bother him again. It’ll be amazing.
Master! Master! We ave an extra special gift for you! But. Uh... but! But. It’s not a shiny. It’s uh it’s a practical gift! here! we made a new trap to protect your lair! Look over by the stuffed manny kin. we call him dumbface. happy hatchdayy~.
Nom is the youngest of the three Kobolds in our adventure. She is also the party healer. She doesn't actually know much about healing, she just has a habit of engorging herself on healing potions even though she doesn't need them. She does know one spell that makes berries taste better and that, like, helps a little? but her understanding of health goes as far as spilling healing potions on people.
Nom has a bit of a young, british accent, the cadence of a 5 year old girl asking way too many questions.
You think he got heal-y potions? All the pinkskins that visit us do. If I drink enough when I'm not hurt, I'll never die!...... (bashful) I also like the taste.
Did you get a shiny for master gougenvore (Pronounced gouge-an-vore)? *gaaasp* you didn't? but Master LOVES shinies! What did you get him?
*tasty gulping noises as she engorges a healing potion that is absolutely doing nothing for her as she is not injured.*
ooh! you wan some? I think there's some le-no wait. sorry. I actually want more. next one, okay?
Spelunk likes going down holes. he likes jumping into holes. he likes tumbling down holes. and he likes falling into holes when he's not up for it. Spelunk is one of the more reckless, and gullible of clan fine. easily duped into doing big things that could get him killed. but he doesn't mind. he's just happy to be included. he's also a bit of a prankster when dealing with humans, and will mess with their heads if he has a chance to. but is compliant enough to go with the group if they have plans.
(spooky voice)Weeeee have come for you mortal! your god has forsaaaken you! (dropping spooky voice) oh we're not doing that? ok. GET HIM!
Good job strap! The trap was extra smart!
Awwww but I like eating the pinkskin sometimes!
This knight made a few mistakes. First he signed up to kill a dragon. then he fell for a cardboard cutout of a dragon, then he mocked the cardboard cutout of the dragon, now he's falling down a hole and is about to die. This guy was an overconfident jerk with gusto and bravado before this moment, but now he's about to meet his god thanks to very tiny grabby hands. I'd love this to be comically over the top and emasculated, but do what you like!
*tumbling down a slide after falling through a trap door. Aaaaaahhhhhhoof! Argh! nnfh! Aaaaaaaah!
*terrified in the dark* Wh-who's there!? I have a sword!! Stay back!
No! No keep away! I’m sorry! I’m sorry for all I done! I never should have kicked that pig! YEeaaaarh! (death rattle)Death!
Kobolds are little murder gremlins, dumb, cheerful, and eager for fun and mayhem. often encountering their demise by their own design. they're a bit scatterbrained, but they all sound a bit raspy, young, and very happy regardless of how much danger they're in.
he still fallin! He uh did it!
Yaaaaaay spikes!
Shiny dog pile! hahahahaha!
