It is interesting because your having the opposite problem of others haha. You are giving the emotion, but the words are too spread out sometimes. I'm sorry if I explain this badly I'm newer to japanese too but I consistently study it. Anyway, emotion is good, but try to make the sentence flow together more. At the moment I am looking for people who are at least my level of Japanese, so I cannot accept this particular audition. You are always welcome to practice and try again. I hope this helps.

Oh no I fully was aware the words were too spaced out. I am trying! Just really wanted feedback lol. planned to look into the full pronunciations. I try to put the work in for things like this. Def was a first time for me! Maybe I will improve by the deadline..but it's difficult. It was easier each time I read it. Depends on the lines for this particular character! I figured I would try haha. I can try again soon and look into it more. Only Japanese I know is from my shows 💀