The Central Sphere [ROUND 2]

The Central Sphere [ROUND 2]

Project Overview

[If you've seen this listing before, don't worry, you're not experiencing Deja Vu! I made a bit of a kerfuffle in purchasing Premium after making the original post, so it was only listed for 5 weeks instead of 12 - this will just ensure it runs to its' proper deadline. If you auditioned on the previous listing, worry not, your audition will still be considered!]


INTRODUCTION

Inspired by the writing and atmosphere of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, 'The Central Sphere' will be an audio drama that will adapt, expand and update the 2004 book of the same name.


Set in a world that blends sci-fi and fantasy, 'The Central Sphere' asks "What happens when you actually follow up on those poorly made plans drummed up in the pub last night?", and it follows a wonderfully colourful cast consisting of:

  • Slobber: A large, blue man with a drooling problem.

  • Potfondle: A small, furry chap with nothing better to do.

  • Tree: Pot's lifelong bonsai best friend, and cynicism addict.

  • Frutely: A scientist driven by curiosity, but starved by her circumstances.

  • & Matchwood: A 280-year-old talking boat with a knack for mischief.

Together, they set out to discover the source of a string of recent earthquakes felt across Gweep, which have been leaving the Pillicks restless.


Had they known that their adventure would lead them into a world of evil, deceit, bagpipes, war and death, they probably would have opted to stay at home.


Will they survive? Will they discover the secret of 'The Central Sphere'?


BACKGROUND

So, why adapt a relatively obscure book from the early 2000s?

Answer: The second best kind of 'tism: NEPOTISM!


That's a joke. The truth is that 'The Central Sphere' was written by my Dad as a short story to read to me as a young child, which he would also enjoy. As things do, it spiralled out of control and became a forty-six-chapter-long novel with a lot of heart, and before you know it, one of the most important books in my life was born not long after I was.


As the years passed, it's held up remarkably well, and he and I have had frequent conversations about how incredible it would be adapted into something else.


So, in short, this is very much a passion project with the blessing, and collaboration of the original author, my Father.


AUDITION REQUIREMENTS

Please submit your auditions before the 25th of August 2026. This deadline may be extended if need be, but for now, consider that a hard deadline with no auditions afterwards being considered for the role. Also, while 'The Central Sphere' is intended for all ages, I'd like to kindly ask that all applicants be 18+.


For a much greater chance of being cast, it is also highly advised to submit high-quality recordings, ideally as a clean .wav file, with as little background noise as you can.

Additionally, while there is no set limit to the number of takes you can submit for each character, 2-3 of your best takes are preferred in either AABBCC or ABCABC format, with there also being no limit to how many characters you can audition for.


Minimum editing is absolutely fine, as long as it's kept to:

  • Normalisation

  • Noise Reduction

  • Speech Rolloff

Finally, I've included 'Vocal Inspiration' for each of the characters listed. This is entirely optional, with 'Inspiration' being the key word. I'd recommend not trying to mimic those performances, but feel free to use them as a tonal reference to inform your own.


OTHER IMPORTANT INFO

PAYMENT: As this is a passion project being produced independently, I have listed this project as 'Unpaid' for the time being. If, however, the audio drama takes off and begins earning revenue, I would love the chance to split profits equally amongst cast and crew. Until then, it's purely a volunteer-led passion project.


AI: I'm of the opinion that a vast amount of generative AI is unethical and has no place in the creative process of art and as such, will not be used in, or for this project. In addition, I will never utilize contributor's work (voice acting, music, writing, visual art, etc, etc.) for the purposes of AI training and will gladly sign a NAVA AI Rider, or any such similar agreement upon request.

Artists
Artist Artist
Artists
open
Unpaid

Description: I'm currently working from the art provided for the original book, which while absolutely fantastic, is a little limited. So if you're an artist, and would like to contribute your skills towards artwork for promotional material, thumbnails, videos, etc etc - I would love to see your portfolio!

  • *Say something you think would fit*

Musicians
Musician Musician
Musicians
open
Unpaid

Description: For this project, something fun I've considered is the idea of giving it some original music. This would consist of a few tracks, that being an intro, an outro, and potentially one or two ambient tracks for some big, rhythmic moments in the story.

-

While the tracks listed above won't need vocals, if you are skilled in A Capella, there's a moment in Episode 2 where four, short ad slogans for a low-budget holiday resort are mentioned, and I love the idea of them being performed barbershop quartet-style. If you're interested in auditioning for that specifically, here are two examples - feel free to alter the wording

-

'If you can't afford the other place, come see us!'

'Bog off, you sick-faced tourist! Come to Lesser Shallowpool and we'll break both your legs!'

-

Whether it be for the ambient tracks or Lesser Shallowpool's passive-aggressive ad-campaign, if you're interested and would like to contribute some music towards The Central Sphere, I'd be more than interested in listening to some of your other work!

  • *Say something you think would fit*

Slobber
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Slobber
open
Unpaid

Description: Years ago, the ancestors of this 6'6" blue fellow ditched their unfeasibly long names in favour of one name: 'Slobber'.

The name was born out of necessity from the mind of a drunk king, making note of his species' defining feature - they drool, a lot! A single Slobber is able to produce up to 50 gallons of saliva per day, making them naturally excellent swimmers.

Our Slobber is strong, reliable, humorous and approachable. Something of a realist, his heroism is tempered by natural fear but bolstered by a true sense of honour and the need to do what is right - regardless of personal cost.


Voice: Deep, sensitive, confident - Slobber is akin to a bouncer with a heart of gold. 


Many would be quick to assume this large, literally drooling man to be an idiot. They'd be wrong.

Slobber has lightning-quick wit, and a strong understanding of his emotional intelligence. He's deeply sentimental towards his friends (no matter how newfound), risking life and limb to help, and laden with guilt when he believes he's failed them.


Vocal Inspiration

  • The Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who)
  • Sully (Monsters Inc)
  • Fezzik (The Princess Bride)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • all english accents
  • radio drama
  • male young adult
  • male adult
  • english (british)
  • (Cheerful) Just visiting a friend. Little furry chap I met in the pub last night. You'd probably like him since he is in the habit of communing with nature.

  • (Confident) Drowned!? You thought I was drowned!? Not a chance. You don't spend a lifetime with saliva glands like mine, and then go and let yourself get drowned... I'd be a laughing stock back home!

  • (Victorious) YES! Talk about blind faith. You really do care for the little guy, don't you?

Potfondle
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Potfondle
open
Unpaid

Description: Despite the peculiar theatrics by which the world of 'The Central Sphere' operates, Potfondle (or 'Pot') would be considered run-of-the-mill even in our real world. He's young, completely average, and often uses humour to partially obscure his perpetual anxiety. Despite once having childhood dreams of being the greatest Pillick who ever lived, Potfondle has reached a point where he doesn't really have any main goals beyond existing. Curiously enough, however, it was actually Potfondle who suggested the weekend trip in the first place on a night out with Slobber - whether it was the drink bolstering ill-placed confidence, or perhaps a glimpse of a long forgotten determination resurfacing is unclear. Perhaps what matters more is that he commits - dragging his lifelong best friend 'Tree' along with him.


Voice: Polite, naive, compassionate - Potfondle is affected the most by feeling like a fish out of water (which is ironic, because Pot can't swim).


He's sweet, sometimes putting on a 'Heroic' voice and playfully acting the part of a mythical dragon slayer when he's at his most terrified - not as an attempt to convince others that he's okay, but as a means of telling himself that he will be.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Shaun (Shaun of the Dead)
  • Arthur Dent (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
  • Hughie (The Boys)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • southern british
  • all english accents
  • english (british)
  • male young adult
  • radio drama
  • (In a 'Heroic' voice) That'll do! We don’t want all the comforts of home. This is, after all, supposed to be a weekend of ‘derring-do’. We will procure our groceries from the fine trades-people in the village.

  • (Light-hearted) Tea!? Tea is for breakfast. This lovely fire, will provide heat to dry our bodies and bedding. Beer, will help me overcome the shock of believing you'd drowned!

  • (Uneasy speculation, followed by panic) That’s why we are alone. That’s why they quickly cleared off. They don’t want to become victims themselves. After all…two small Pillicks? Not much of a feed for a giant!... For the love of toast- we're sacrifices to a giant!

Tree
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Tree
open
Unpaid

Description: In most cases, the Tanglepine trees do not converse with bipedal lifeforms - not because they're unable to, but because often, "bipeds" rarely say anything worth such an intelligent tree's time. Unlike their much taller cousins, the affectionately named 'Tree', a bonsai equivalent to the Tanglepine, does- and they talk a lot


Keen on always having the last word, and never letting the moment for a sarcastic comment, or cynical remark pass, Tree is a real scene-stealer, either complimenting or outright delivering some of the funniest moments in the story. However, while most of what they say is often condescending, Tree really does care about the group, Potfondle especially so.


Voice: Condescending, snarky, and wry. If Tree had eyes, the rate at which they'd roll would start to look like a tennis match.


Tree is a character with the unlucky pairing of a mouth that's faster than their mind, and very little self-control, usually resulting in biting remarks. However, as mentioned before, Tree does feel a lot of compassion for the group and is more often laughing with them than at them.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Wheatley (Portal 2)
  • Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)
  • Rocket Raccoon (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • all english accents
  • cornish
  • nonbinary
  • west country british
  • radio drama
  • androgynous
  • all american accents
  • celtic
  • somerset
  • welsh
  • scottish
  • irish
  • devonshire
  • (Complaining) The blue guy isn't even going to show up... I wouldn't if it was me. No. We're just going to sit here for an hour or so, before going back home via the nearest pub. Pot will end up trying to cook whilst drunk, and burn the house down. I, being made of wood, will blister and blacken before-

  • (Sarcastic) Are you stupid!? I know as much about the origins of the Great Twit as this Pillick here. I'd have added a couple of rings to my trunk by the time you'd managed to get anywhere near an even vaguely interesting fact.

  • (Furious, but on the brink of tears) You pathetic, useless sod! You had to show off, didn’t you!? Had to show us all what a great master of the water you are! You couldn’t have played it safe and run away!? Ohhh no. Not the great Matchwood!

Matchwood
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Matchwood
open
Unpaid

(While Matchwood is written here as male, the gender's not set in stone, and I'm very open to hearing a female, or an androgynous take on the character. All voice types are welcome; it's the performance and overall vibe that matters most!)


Description: Having spent most of his life as a sentient boat, this former Kia Willow tree turned warship, and now ferry for the people of Kettle's Reach yearns for the adventurous life he once had. Having been felled at the tender age of 33 and now pushing 280, this old vessel has been wisened by a long life at sea. Don't let his age fool you, though; having been itching for fun for the past several decades, he tackles this adventure with a keen sense of mischief and more life than ever before.


Voice: Outgoing, wise, and sometimes too cantankerous for his own good. Match should sound like an old friend you've just met; happy to lend you sage advice with a warm resonance and a hearty southern drawl. 


However, his consummate honesty often leads him to speak his mind, no matter how painful it might be to hear, often punctuating each sentence as if it were obvious. 


Despite his age, Matchwood is one of the most energetic members of the cast, as prone to bursting into fits of laughter and disjointed songs as he is to bouts of wisdom and seafaring stories.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Victor (Fallout: New Vegas)
  • The Engineer (Team Fortress 2)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • texan
  • male senior
  • female senior
  • androgynous
  • american (southern)
  • male adult
  • radio drama
  • female adult
  • (Friendly) Well climb aboard son and make yourself comfy. I'll be damned if I'm gonna hang around here all day!

  • (Reassuring) Don't be silly! It's who you are. Change your name if *you* wish to, not because a foolish old vessel makes a joke at your expense.

  • (Mildly irritated to enthusiastic) You're not listening to me are you? Let me spell it out for you. This thing is very, very big. Big! Understand? Large, enormous in-fact. Big body, huge fins, and it's teeth... Teeth that size are difficult to miss. I tell you this my sticky friend... a dentist could retire after only one visit from this thing!

Dr Frutely Gaiberond
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Dr Frutely Gaiberond
open
Unpaid

Description: Gweep's one and only seismologist, Dr Frutely Gaiberond was strangely not called upon to investigate the region's recent earthquakes. Instead, they hired a much less qualified team that took the chance to turn the geological survey into a luxury holiday, returning with impressive tans, cheap souvenirs, and a short research study that read: 'NON CONCLUSIVE... SORRY' - much to Frutely's chagrin.


Being intelligent, resourceful, naturally inquisitive, and with Gweep's government choosing to sweep the incident of wasted funds under the rug rather than giving her a grant, she joins the group without hesitation, and they're incredibly lucky to have her. After all, without her, their adventure would have been nothing more than a mildly interesting camping trip.


Voice: Bright, articulate, grounded. As a woman of science, Frutely's cause is one driven by the knowledge that she will always be a student.


She's fast in finding a positive rapport with the group; her reputation precedes her. She's very happy to oblige in answering their questions about what she's learned, explaining her findings and inventions with competence and patience.


What she finds disquieting, however, is the idea that even the fundamentals might be wrong. Magic has faded into myth and superstition rather than history, especially so in Gweep. But she never loses her strong sense of curiosity.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Clara Oswald (Doctor Who)
  • Lara Croft (Tomb Raider - Survivor Trilogy)
  • Dana Scully (The X-Files)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • radio drama
  • female adult
  • english (british)
  • female young adult
  • all english accents
  • (Informative) Now, you and I are touching. I'm holding the grass, the grass is touching your beer, your beer is touching the bottle, and the bottle is in your hand. You may not even be aware of the fact that you have moved at all, but the grass knows- if you see what I mean, the beer knows, and the bottle knows. They have all changed their relative position.

  • (Speculative) There's something in the rock, perhaps. You went into a trance as soon as you touched it. The same thing happened to me while you were sleeping.

  • (Analysis, followed by excitement) See, look here... Most of them are just simple pictographs, but this- this is writing, ancient writing! Amazing!

The Toothwranglers
Voice Actor Voice Actor
The Toothwranglers
open
Unpaid

(Five parts available: Enamuelle, Gobswane, Plaquard, McCavity, and Pastey)


Description: A bold, wetsuit-clad crack team of tiny warriors in dental hygiene; The Toothwranglers, under the charge of Seargant Enamuelle, are the fearless, highly-trained specialists in cleaning Slobber's teeth. 

While they are smaller parts (in lines, as well as in stature), the Toothwranglers really come into their own throughout this adventure, and serve the narrative's heart that anyone, regardless of how small or seemingly "insignificant", can topple giants.


Voice: Professional, eager, and competent, the Toothwranglers are paired with a salute so sharp, it could slice cheese.


They take a great amount of pride in their work; however, to people so small, a task as simple as brushing teeth is a complex mission with high stakes. They know their stuff and treat it with total sincerity.


Vocal Inspiration

  • The Elves (Arthur Christmas)
  • The Penguins (Madagascar)
  • Green Army Men (Toy Story)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • welsh
  • all english accents
  • scottish
  • irish
  • radio drama
  • male adult
  • female young adult
  • all american accents
  • male young adult
  • male senior
  • female adult
  • female senior
  • androgynous
  • cornish
  • english (british)
  • (Mid-mission precise co-ordination) Detach ropes! Ready for elevation, sir!

  • (Professional debrief) Right...! A little over one week ago, you departed base camp en route for Gweep. Upon arrival, you rendezvoused with the rest of your squad, and employed the services of one "Match Wood" for safe passage upstream.

  • (Confident) Now we discover why good oral hygiene is such a must!

The Voice
Voice Actor Voice Actor
The Voice
open
Unpaid

Description: Just referred to as "The Voice" for the time being, this is the big bad of the series. Coming straight from the depths of myth, this creature belongs to a race of beings who ruled the world. Seemingly friendly at first, this monster is nothing but utterly callous and evil. He is filled with rage and seeks to control, intimidate, lie and murder his way back to greatness - remarking "That... is why people shouldn't bunch" with sickening satisfaction after crushing a group of defenceless individuals into a bloody pulp.


Voice: Ranged, colossal, primaeval. 'The Voice' flips between eccentric jubilance and venomous spite, and anger on a dime. His friendlier face, and his evil true side should sound like entirely different people.


'The Voice' wears a theatrical, bold and kindly persona to our heroes at first, approaching them with the same candour of an elderly "theatre-kid" who doesn't often get visitors, but appreciates the company.


Remember, though, this is just a mask. When it slips, he should sound like Satan on a bad day - revelling in each small ounce worth of cruelty. Intimidation is his most useful tool - whether it's rage aimed on a pinpoint, or quiet threats to his lesser, Festulas Squit, that reverberate from a seemingly empty abyss off the cave walls.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Magneto (X-Men Films)
  • Gmork (The NeverEnding Story)
  • DIO (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)
  • Christopher Biggins - For his friendlier mask

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • english (british)
  • male senior
  • radio drama
  • male adult
  • english (posh)
  • (Delightfully camp) Oh splendid! You're both alive... Not only alive but awake! How marvellous. Oh I am so very pleased!

  • (Quiet, intimidating) My tolerance for you, Squit is not without end. However, though a snivelling wretch of a man you undoubtedly are, it is difficult in this day and age to find a creature with your boundless capacity for deceit.

  • (Anger, followed by quiet threat) Get out of my sight, slug. Return in precisely ten hours! [Beat] And Squit? Have more encouraging news.

Stennaron
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Stennaron
open
Unpaid

(This role appears toward the latter end of the series)


Description: Born of the same race as 'The Voice', yet not sharing in his ambitions, Stennaron is a gentle giant that aids our heroes leading up to the story's climax. 


Hailing from Scotland (which exists completely unchanged in The Central Sphere) and believing the locals to be savages who torture small four-legged creatures by blowing down their noses and inflating their stomachs to create music (bagpipes), Stennaron has kept himself hidden in a certain lake... Loch Ness - and thus, accidentally became a legend.


Voice: Light-hearted, colossal, primordial, Stennaron tries his best to be disarming and personable.


For this character, it's important that he be Scottish.


Vocal Inspiration

  • David Tennant (Staged)
  • Gobber (How to Train Your Dragon)
  • Demoman (Team Fortress 2)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male adult
  • male senior
  • scottish
  • scottish highlands
  • radio drama
  • (Conversational) Aye lass, I know. But when you're a walking mountain, little things like shrinking are worthy of comment. I mean, you try finding decent clothes off the rack. It's bloody near impossible!

  • (Empathetic, humerous) They're nice enough chaps, you understand. But when you see how they treat those poor creatures with the tartan tummies, long noses, and hollow legs... Well, let's just say I'd rather not find out where they'd try and get a tune out of me!

  • (Defensive) Listen here, you! Not everyone who sneaks up from behind is a bad guy. The reason I was behind you is because you were in front! It's just a question of time. Past is behind, future's in front... You know?

Festulas Squit
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Festulas Squit
open
Unpaid

Description: Utterly horrible, this streaky wretch is devoid of magnificence or even the merest hint of redemption. He is duplicitous and cowardly, leading his paymasters at the Port Establishment Agency (PEA) to believe that he is working with their nefarious interests at heart, when in fact he is under the absolute power of The Voice - echoing the same cruelty that his true master shows him, to those unfortunate enough to be under his command.


Voice: Nasally, pathetic, hammed up to the hilt. At his core, Squit is a bully playing second fiddle to another, far worse bully. 


When speaking with his master or his boss at the PEA, he should sound utterly terrified, carefully choosing each word like he's navigating a minefield. On the other hand, when speaking to anyone else, he should sound deeply sinister, revelling in his very temporary power. He's very in tune with where he sits in the food chain, but he should never sound like he's fully in control.  


His cruelty is not sincere; it's borrowed, not intrinsic. The audience should never forget that Festulas Squit is a truly pathetic character - his voice dripping from his mouth like a slug oozing it's way out of a hole.


Vocal Inspiration

  • The G-Man (Half-Life)
  • Mr Burns (The Simpsons)
  • Rimmer (Red Dwarf)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male senior
  • english (british)
  • all english accents
  • radio drama
  • male adult
  • (Afraid) Moles. Yes Master... Where? Oh. Yes Master, I see. I will, Master. Eastern Lands... I understand. Roundabout... Left at the lights... Yes Master, I will.

  • (Quiet, callous) Give me ten feet an hour, or choose one of your men to die.

  • (Steadily rising anger) You pathetic, snivelling wretch... You weak, feeble, creature of the darkness. We have success! We achieve our aim and all you can do is charge about like a frightened child!

The Moles
Voice Actor Voice Actor
The Moles
open
Unpaid

(Four parts available: Graith, Chokkle, Scoop and Wormil)


Description: Not big parts, but a lot of fun! Believed to be the last surviving clan of master diggers, the moles were awakened from their long hibernation by Festulas Squit. They have an uneasy alliance with him, following his commands with unnerving loyalty, mainly since he possesses their civilisation's most sacred artefact: The Egg of Gertrude. 


Voice: Gravelly, strained, exhausted, the Moles should feel tragic. They may be aiding a great evil, but they're innocent in their intent - having very little knowledge of what they're actually doing.


They find solace in each other. The labour is back-breaking, and the working conditions are worse, but they have a strong bond and a shared sense of camaraderie when things are looking up.


However, they are deeply terrified of Squit, and address him with reluctant reverence.


Vocal Inspiration: 

  • The Chickens (Chicken Run)
  • The Miners (Chernobyl)


Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male adult
  • female adult
  • all english accents
  • radio drama
  • male young adult
  • female young adult
  • british (northern)
  • all american accents
  • british (cockney)
  • geordie
  • english (cockney)
  • english (northern)
  • (Terrified) Your word is our law, sir. You tell us how far you mean us to cut into this accursed rock and we will do it. Our lives are yours. To do with as you please. Our deaths are a small price to pay...

  • (Shocked) By the grace of Climpanion- that's over 21 feet, guv! 21 feet in two hours!

  • (Endearing, followed by confidence) You lads... You lads are the best. Our ancestors thought they knew how to dig. Ha! They were beginners!

The Orb of Skeltenna
Voice Actor Voice Actor
The Orb of Skeltenna
open
Unpaid

(This role appears toward the latter end of the series)


Description: Appearing to our heroes (and enemies) as a figure in grey robes, the Orb of Skeltenna has sat motionless, in a cave, for centuries - awaiting the time when it can manipulate events and people to fulfil it's benevolent goal. The Orb itself houses the consciousness of a forgotten God, cast out by the other Gods long ago.


Voice: Even-toned, resonant, powerful - with no specific gender. The Orb of Skeltenna is a wise, calming presence both capable of beautiful restoration, and untold destruction - whether or not it wants to. The Orb is a tool with a conscience.


Vocal Inspiration

  • The Narrator (Baldur's Gate 3)
  • God (Bruce Almighty)
  • Mufasa (The Lion King)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male adult
  • female adult
  • all american accents
  • radio drama
  • male young adult
  • androgynous
  • female young adult
  • male senior
  • female senior
  • all english accents
  • No need to speak your words, my dear Pot. No need to think of what to say before you say it. In this place, all thoughts are heard. All life is.

  • I am not an object for destruction. You would use me for carnage and mayhem. My purpose is far removed from your petty ambitions for power.

  • Rules may, from time-to-time, be bent... Just a little. But there is a vast chasm between bending the rules and breaking them altogether.

King Bob
Voice Actor Voice Actor
King Bob
open
Unpaid

One-Timer: This role appears only once within the story. These roles are memorable roles with plenty to chew on. Perfect for actors looking to supplement their voice reel or portfolio with a relatively quick turn-around.


Description: Arguably one of the most famed historical figures from the world of 'The Central Sphere'. King Bob (who's full name was ludicrously long) was an ancient monarch who ruled over the nation simply now known as Slobber. 


His, and his people's long names are what prompted his Highness to drunkenly make the declaration that all subjects were to change their names to Slobber. A name befitting a race of large, blue, drooling people. While controversial at first, the idea caught on quickly, and thus, history was changed forevermore.


Voice: Booming, slurred, Shakespearean. King Bob is ludicrously drunk throughout this entire scene.


Drunk as he is, however, he doesn’t relent on treating his announcement and subsequent speech with the grandeur that he believes it needs - pausing at the end of each point for maximum effect.

Don’t be put off by the incredibly long names either. As said, the man is very drunk, so very slight mess-ups can be part of the characterisation. 


Vocal Inspiration

  • King Richard IV (Blackadder)

  • Matt Berry

  • Henry VIII (Horrible Histories) 

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • male senior
  • english (posh)
  • regal english
  • male adult
  • royal english
  • queen's english
  • all american accents
  • radio drama
  • english (british)
  • (Announcing) I, King Bobbing-for-apples-in-the-rain-waiting-for-a-train-peeing-down-the-drain the Third, of Tripple-ipple-ipple-troople-woople-woop, on this day do announce that I am changing my name. Henceforth, I shall be known as King Slobber!

  • (Fed up) This naming scheme has become all too complicated. Consider this: when was the last time you had to go to a written reminder to send a birthday card to a member of your own family? Or how many weeks you’ve spent signing one census form alone?

  • (Full of purpose) No longer will two-thirds of a company’s expenditure go on ink. No more will classroom registers dominate the entire school day… teachers will actually be able to teach! Postal workers’ bags will shrink, and recipients of post will no longer spend the morning hunting through the interior of four-foot-long envelopes, looking for the piece of correspondence. Personalised vehicle number plates will no longer be a danger to pedestrians!

Flalian Trapp
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Flalian Trapp
open
Unpaid

One-Timer: This role appears only once within the story. These roles are memorable roles with plenty to chew on. Perfect for actors looking to supplement their voice reel or portfolio with a relatively quick turn-around.


Description: Festulas Squit may have a master in 'The Voice', but that creature's not the one paying him. Flalian Trapp works as the Director of Development at the Port Establishment Agency. Sitting comfortably on his wrung of bureaucracy, Trapp enjoys sitting in his large chair in his large office, and making Festulas Squit's life a living hell.


Voice: Petty, nasally, condescending. Flalian Trapp is the absolute worst kind of middle-manager.


He takes a small amount of joy in exercising his status and believes he has Squit truly wrapped around his finger, doing whatever he can to make him feel small, all with a punch-able smugness oozing out of every line.


Vocal Inspiration

  • Gilbert Huph (The Incredibles)
  • Dwight Schrute (The Office)
  • Beadle Bamford (Sweeney Todd)

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • radio drama
  • male adult
  • all english accents
  • all american accents
  • male senior
  • (Condescending) Well, Squit. I must confess to feeling a degree of disappointment with your efforts in Gweep.

  • (Petty) Please don't interrupt me when I am speaking.

  • (Jeering) I appointed this task to you personally. All you had to do was cut your way through a little Zintal and locate the Orb of Skeltenna. What happened?

Background VA's
Voice Actor Voice Actor
Background VA's
open
Unpaid

Description: Various assorted denizens of Kettle's Reach, Flintlewood, Gweep and beyond, these are the characters that really flesh out the world of 'The Central Sphere' and make it feel inhabited by well... inhabitants!


Voice: Feel free to experiment! There's no one intended voice for any character, so play around with different voices; however, they should never sound too comical. The ensemble cast are often silly, but not cartoonish, and the comedy comes from sincerity in the face of absurdism.

Language:
  • english
Voice description:
  • female adult
  • all american accents
  • female senior
  • male teen
  • male young adult
  • female teen
  • radio drama
  • male adult
  • male senior
  • all english accents
  • male child
  • female young adult
  • female child
  • androgynous
  • (Calling out) Marriage ceremonies will be shorter!- And gravestones won't need to be the giant monoliths we have today!

  • (Friendly) No charge for family. It's been great seeing you again. Do you still live 'round here? I'll have to come 'round!

  • (Awkward) Sorry about this. It's only my second day. To add to my problems, my hat broke down this morning and nearly drowned some poor old lady.

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Public Submissions