Steven Universe Abridged
Project Overview
EDIT - SECOND CASTING CALL COMPLETE
Thanks to everyone for their efforts. We're looking forward to getting the show out there. We have all the VAs we need to bring you season 1A of our abridged. If you want to br notified when we run a future casting call for season 1B, follow us on Twitter here: twitter.com/PWAbridging
EDIT - SECOND ROUND OF AUDITIONS IS NOW OPEN
We are looking for Garnet, Pearl, Sugilite and Lapis specifically. All other roles have been filled, any that are not showing are either from off-site submissions, or are bit parts that do not warrant a dedicated actor/actress and we'll get a performance from one of the main cast. Head over here to audition: https://www.castingcall.club/projects/steven-universe-abridged-second-casting-call
EDIT - FIRST AUDITION WINDOW IS NOW CLOSED: Thank you so much for all the auditions. We had some truly stellar submissions and some very fierce competition in many roles. We were able to fill the majority of roles but will be holding a second, more focused round in Janurary for the remaining four roles. We encourage anyone and everyone to stick around and audition, or just keep on hyping us up. The unexpected level of support was truly heartwarming. In the second round of auditions we will be looking for Garnet, Pearl, Sugilite and Lapis specifically. All other roles have been filled, any that are not showing are either from off-site submissions, or are bit parts that do not warrant a dedicated actor/actress and we'll get a performance from one of the main cast. Thanks again :)
Anyone who has been assigned a role, if you have Discord then please join the SUA discord server so we can coordinate the project. https://discord.gg/UqHhQ9RMAj If you don't have one then we will DM you on here and work out an alternative (probably email).
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Hi there, we are Pizza Wheel Abridging (All edge, no point). Our intended focus will be primarily western cartoons, which receive far less attention from the abridging community and represent a wealth of opportunities.
For our first project we have decided on Steven Universe, a show with a large and divided fanbase. As a story that attempts to include many sociopolitical themes but has… lacking execution on these ideas, there is a lot to criticise through humour.
Our writing comes from a place of both love and (deep) frustration with the source material. No matter your opinion on Steven Universe, love it or hate it, we think there’ll be something for you. If you want to be part of a hard-hitting comedic satire of this show, an irreverent, brutal hatchet-job, then we look forward to hearing your auditions.
If you would also like to join our Discord server to discuss the project, here is a link: discord.gg/UqHhQ9RMAj
We have a Twitter account where we post periodic updates: twitter.com/PWAbridging
GENERAL VOICE ACTING GUIDELINES
While not a hard rule, voices resembling the original cast of the show typically enhances the humour. If you can do a good impression then we would especially love to hear that. However, if you feel you have a different take on the character that works well with the sample lines then don’t hesitate to send those in too.
You can audition for multiple roles if you like. Give it your all with each role, and there’s no disadvantage to this. As well as the main cast, there are a number of smaller characters. It’s possible we may end up casting you in more than one role, if your performances are distinct enough.
Mic Quality: While this is our first project we are aiming for a certain level of quality. Nothing too top-tier required, but no laptop microphones either please.
Audio file type for submissions should be .mp3, preferably at least 250kbps.
Please compile all the lines for a character in one audio file. Edit down your submission so that there is only a couple seconds of silence at either end of the audition.
Monetisation: This will most likely not be making money and as such we can’t offer any finance in exchange for your voice-acting talents. Links to any of your relevant social media accounts and websites will be included in the video descriptions of course, should you desire.
If you would prefer not to create an account on this website, you can instead submit your auditions to us via email. Please still follow all the above guidelines, and add the magic word 'Ravioli' to the end of your subject line. It's to help with bot spam. You can find our email address in the descripion of our trailer on Youtube www.youtube.com/watch?v=bK-y-5irxEo (can't post email adresses here).
SETTING OVERVIEW (FOR NERDS)
The series begins with Steven living with the Crystal Gems. He previously lived with his father Greg but recently moved in with the Gems in order to begin his training. He is expected to fill the shoes of his mother, the famous Rose Quartz who surrendered her life and gem in order to birth him. However, at age 12, he is nowhere near as capable and our series reflects that. While the gems in the show are patient, kind and (debatably) nurturing parents, in this abridged show they will be significantly less tolerant of Steven and his antics.
They guard the small town of ‘Beach City’, a tiny coastal area with a small population full of supporting characters. Most human characters besides Steven reside here.
What the hell are Gems?
Gems are an alien race, a small group of which have made their home on Earth. Their actual physical body consists only of their actual ‘gem’ rock, hence their name. The humanoid bodies we see in the show are actually hard-light constructs projected by their gem in order to allow them to interact with the world. They are incredibly technologically advanced by human standards, strong, powerful and able to regenerate from lethal wounds provided their gem is not damaged. While Gems are technically genderless they almost exclusively present as female and use female pronouns.
Homeworld / The Gempire / The Diamond Authority
The Gempire are the main antagonists of the series. They represent the bulk of the interstellar Gem population: a rigid and fascist caste system ruled over by three high-ranking ‘Diamonds’ from a planet imaginatively named ‘Homeworld’. There was formerly a fourth Diamond but she was ‘shattered’ (killed) in a rebellion by the gems on Earth.
The Crystal Gems
The rebels are former Gempire colonists who defied the Homeworld’s rule after they saw the beauty and worth of the planet Earth they found themselves on. While their rebellion was successful in driving off the Gempire and preventing them from strip-mining the planet for resources, they were almost entirely wiped out in the process. The only currently active Crystal Gems are Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl, veterans of a milennia-old war.
Corrupted gems / monsters
Until the Gempire begins seriously attacking Earth again later in the series, the bulk of the Crystal Gems’ duties involve the capture and containment of monsters. These are actually corrupted gems, damaged and reduced to a bestial, feral intelligence.
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Character Bio: Steven Universe, the titular main character. An upbeat and fairly unintelligent 12-year old. Steven is the inheritor of his mother Rose Quartz’s magic gem as well as the responsibilities she left behind. His attempts to fill these big shoes are often… lacking. He is good-natured and enthusiastic, but tends to annoy his fellow Crystal Gems. Consequently, he is often the butt of jokes in our rewrite.
VA Requirements: Must be able to sing at a decent standard in-character (songs performed: ‘It’s Monster Fighting Time’ and ‘Big and Chunky’) Please provide at least four lines from ‘It’s Monster Fighting Time’ in your audition.
Example from the original show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiyHHQaehxE
Line 1: (mouth full, casual)
“Hey guys, I got bored and ate everything in the house!”
Line 2: (panicked at first, then calm)
“…you’re right dad, this is crazy! It’s not like I have magical powers or somethin- oh. Right.”
Line 3: (yelling)
“Food activates my POWERS!”
Line 4: (genuine)
“You know, I learned something today. Turns out the secret to stop being a cringey loser… is drugs!”
- english
- male child
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
EDIT: PEARL'S ROLE HAS BEEN UPDATED AND IS STILL OPEN TO AUDITION FOR IN OUR SECOND CASTING CALL, CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW VERSION.
Character Bio: A while ago, Steven moved out from his father Greg’s van and came to live with the Crystal Gems. Pearl was closest to Steven’s mother Rose, so she took on the parental responsibilities. However, as a millennia-old cleanliness-obsessed servant with no concept of birth or childhood, the messy reality of caring for a human child is highly unpleasant to her. Steven also is far from an easy kid. As such, by the time the series starts, Pearl is torn between her loyalty to care for Rose’s boy and her frustration with humanity (Steven in particular). She is prim, proper, vengeful and long-suffering.
VA Requirements: Singing capabilities useful but not required
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/fcBbJ4X0OTQ?t=73
Line 1: (annoyed)
“I swear most humans are *not* this resilient…”
Line 2: (vindictive and ominous)
“I’m just going to let Holopearl take care of you…”
Line 3: (fed-up)
“I asked for so little Steven…”
Line 4: (action)
“Garnet! Remove our limiter!”
Line 5: (motherly)
“Steven, you stay here. Go sit in the shade until we get back.”
- english
- Steven Universe
- animation/character
- female adult
- aristocratic british
- english (posh)
.
EDIT: GARNET'S ROLE HAS BEEN UPDATED AND IS STILL OPEN TO AUDITION FOR IN OUR SECOND CASTING CALL, CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW VERSION.
Character Bio: Stoic, capable and to the point, Garnet is the de facto leader of the Crystal Gems. However, she is a gem of few words, so the others often end up making decisions without her. With her future vision, she can predict likely futures (when the writers remember), and also, in our version, break the fourth wall.
VA Requirements: Singing capabilities useful but not required
Example from the original show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-CNlCVjQpI
Line 1: (deadpan)
“Well, we’re written to map onto certain human cultures. I’m sure this will be culturally sensitive.”
Line 2: (businesslike)
“Right, that should keep him busy at home, here’s the mission ladies…”
Line 3: (dramatic)
“The forbidden one has the replicator wand.”
Line 4: (deadpan)
“Vague nondescript answer.”
Line 5: (annoyed)
“Dammit Sugar.”
- english
- female adult
- animation/character
- british
- american
.
Character Bio: The youngest (relatively) of the Crystal Gems and the most in-touch with humanity. Hatched after the Gem War ended, she sees the world as a giant sandbox to play around in. Living in the moment, she enjoys fighting, eating (even though gems don’t need to), playing pranks and hanging out. She is mostly laid-back and sassy, but does get genuinely angry if something or someone keeps bothering her.
VA Requirements: Must be able to speak Spanish. Singing capabilities useful but not required.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/7J38yYBRQp8?t=21
Line 1: (enthusiastic, comical)
“Yes! Kill the babies!”
Line 2: (excited)
“Aw yeah, one cabrito comin’ right up!”
Line 3: (pissed off)
“I am sick and tired of this Indiana Jones BULLSHIT!”
Line 4: (goofy)
“Heheh, this one looks like a bong.”
Line 5: (pained)
“Arrgh, right in the baps!”
- english
- spanish
- Steven Universe
- female adult
- female young adult
- animation/character
- latin american
- generic spanish (european)
- spanish (mexican)
.
Character Bio: Greg Universe is Steven’s dad and washed-up former rockstar, living in a van by the beach. After Rose’s disappearance he gradually descended into a downward spiral, with Steven being his only reason to keep things together. Since Steven moved out to live with the Crystal Gems, Greg has only rarely managed to see his son. He tries to be friendly and warm, but sometimes the mask slips and his depressive tendencies show through.
VA Requirements: Singing capabilities useful but not required
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/gE-GhM19qqE?t=7
Line 1: (surprised and confused)
“Guys! Someone stole the ocean!”
Line 2: (genuine)
“Convenient that there was a ramp on the bottom of the ocean.”
Line 3: (fleeing)
“Pfft yeah, fuck that!”
Line 4: (depressed)
“All my old hopes and dreams. Just sitting in there. Rotting away.”
- english
- male adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: Connie Maheswaran is a very smart 12 year old girl who has been somewhat smothered and repressed by her family. She enjoys her time with Steven despite his aggravating tendencies because of how loose and free his life is compared to her own. Sarcastic, smart and funny. Also has a violent streak although she is not trained in actual combat (yet). Well-spoken.
Example from the original show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bG-tp5Jd-Q
Line 1: (sarcastic, calculating)
“Great. That means we have about six minutes of oxygen left until we die.”
Line 2: (genuine, passionate)
“Yes, it really shows how beautiful animation can look when you put the time and effort in.”
Line 3: (nonplussed)
“Huh, and I thought those were just moobs.”
Line 4: (angry then wondrous)
“Argh gross, right in my fucking… Eyes?”
- english
- female teen
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
EDIT: LAPIS' ROLE HAS BEEN UPDATED AND IS STILL OPEN TO AUDITION FOR IN OUR SECOND CASTING CALL, CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW VERSION.
Character Bio: A Homeworld gem who has been trapped inside a magic mirror for millennia, Lapis Lazuli is carrying some significant trauma. She tries to be edgy and dramatic, but underneath secretly loves meme-humour and references. Her urges to be both dramatic and comedic are at odds. Initially an antagonist, she is however somewhat sympathetic and the climax of the season is eventually resolved nonviolently.
VA requirements: Must be able to at least talk-sing decently in-character.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/DPQbYFYDkSM?t=53
Line 1: (angry)
“A Lapis! A. Lapis!? That’s all I am to you? You hypocrites.”
Line 2: (incredibly frustrated)
“What is wrong with you people! Why can’t you just leave me alone!”
Line 3: (faux grandiosity)
“General K- ahem, behold I have built a tower with its top in the heavens! Why have you come, child of man?”
Line 4: (disturbed and grossed-out)
“Today I learned not all water is good water…”
- english
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- female adult
- british
.
Character Bio: UPDATE Peedee Fryman is a boy about Steven’s age who works at his father’s fry takeaway. Our new iteration of the character speaks a million-miles a minute, his mind constantly awhirl with whatever comically ill-fitting tangent pops into his head. Technically a recurring character but his appearances will be rare.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/PbuR_97oASo&t=137
Line 1: (rapidfire)
"Hey Steven wanna see something cool!? Look I can summon birds with my mouth LALALAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Line 2: (nonchalant)
“Hey do you hear screaming or is that just in my head?”
Line 3: (babbling until distracted by table)
“Ooh tentacles this is just like those animes Ronaldo likes, I’m not supposed to know about them but I snuck into his room one day and- oh cool a table!”
- english
- male child
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: While initially a gifted and passionate amateur reporter and student, Ronaldo Fryman is never quite the same after receiving a beating during his first appearance. Thereafter, he is relegated to being a crazy Alex Jones-esque conspiracy theorist and neckbeard. A bit part, but if the series continues he will be a recurring character.
VA requirements: Please don’t try and match how Ronaldo sounds in the original show, it’s pretty unsalvageable. Ideally, should be able to switch between a sane reporter persona and an Alex Jones impression.
Example from a more entertaining show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ePLkAm8i2s
Line 1: (sane but dramatic)
“I’m not here to wrestle! I’m here to expose the dirty secret at the heart of Purple Puma’s success! Purple Puma… is a ‘juicer’.”
Line 2: (full Alex Jones ranting)
“Piiiiiink! I knew it! They’re putting chemicals in the water to turn the freakin’ cats gay!
And you’re in on it aren’t you… Tiger Millionaire!”
- english
- animation/character
- male young adult
- Alex Jones
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: Bit part. Kofi Pizza is unironically the best character in the original show. The actor preferably should be able to replicate the accent. He is the patriarch of the Pizza family, who run a fast food joint in town. A very angry man when crossed.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/W05RbMrwimY?t=70
Line 1: (angry)
“Are you shitting me!?”
Line 2: (sarcastic)
“Oh yes, these cheap barbecued pig cylinders totally make up for you BREAKING MY STORE!”
- english
- male adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- ghanaian
.
Character Bio: As in the original show, Lars Barriga is an insecure, irritating teenager. He occasionally breaks the 4th wall to reveal the actor beneath who is much more passionate and nice.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/xAfVisCF59Q?t=31
Line 1: (grouchy)
“Peer group… Shove off Steven, you’re cramping my style… Nobody likes a guy in pink.”
Line 2: (high on drugs)
“Steven, we need to get higher!”
Line 3: (worn-out)
“Come on Steven, you didn’t even work out.”
- english
- male teen
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: Bit part. Jenny Pizza is a girl from the Pizzeria who hangs out with the other “cool kids”. Has enough hassle from her job, just wants to unwind.
Example from the original show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG1DYbhU3Bo
Line 1: (mild annoyance)
“Do I look like a gamer?”
- english
- female young adult
- Steven Universe
- animation/character
- american
- ghanaian
.
Character Bio: Bit part. Normal human brother to Onion, the town’s resident eldritch horror. Another of the town’s “cool kids”. Talkative but laid-back, speaks in monotone.
Example from the original show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n4UrH56gRg
Line 1: (disappointed)
“Ah shit, it’s the pigs.”
Line 2: (dope)
“Dope.”
- english
- male young adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: Bit part. Buck Dewey is the son of the Mayor, but has no time for politics. Much prefers the company of the “cool kids”. Voicework for him needs to retain that chill, stoner delivery from the show.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/xAfVisCF59Q?t=141
Line 1: (chill)
“Ah man, looks like pops got into my stash again.”
- english
- american
- male young adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
.
Character Bio: Bit part, used solely for his role as a wrestling announcer. The character himself also runs a theme park and arcade. Howard Smiley is a big man with a bigger smile. The more bombastic the delivery the better.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/N2s6dYwGMEo?t=71
Line 1: (wrestling announcer)
“Welcome Beach City to the Underground Wrestling Ring! The puissant pussy power of this predatory powercouple is unparalleled as Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire stand supreme! Will their reign of terror come to an end at the hands of the Lochness Bloggster!?”
- english
- male adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
EDIT - This character has significantly changed in a script re-write since posting. We have published a new revised version in our second casting call, which you can audition for here.
- english
- female adult
- animation/character
- Steven Universe
- american
.
Character Bio: Bit part. Opal is the fusion of Amethyst and Pearl. She retains Pearl’s elegant and calm demeanour but it is contrasted by Amethyst’s more aggressive tendencies. Particularly in our script, as she violently and bloodily dispatches several gem monsters during her appearance.
Example from the original show: https://youtu.be/1NBB9Drtq5Q?t=63
Line 1: (demure)
“I like ‘em big.”
- english
- animation/character
- american
- female adult
- Steven Universe
- british
.
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