Scott Pilgrim's Little Life
Project Overview
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Lead role
"Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else, yes, I'm dating a 17 year old."
" Wallace, when my journey began, I was living in an ordinary world. Ramona skated through my dreams and it was like a call to adventure, a call I considered refusing. But my Mentor, that's you, told me if I want something bad enough I have to fight for it. So I did. There were tests, allies, enemies. approached a deep cave and went through a crazy ordeal, during which I totally seized the sword. Sadly, I died. Then I resurrected! Now I realize what I should have been fighting for all along. But before I do that, I need to ask one final favor of you."
Lead role
"I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. I guess that's not very nice, but I used to be kind of...like that. We hated everyone. We wrecked stuff. Nobody cared. He punched a hole in the moon for me. It was pretty crazy. A week and a half later, he told me his Dad was sending him to the Vegan Academy, so I dumped him. Does that help you at all?"
"Well now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club."
Supporting role
"Hey whoa, whoa. Scott's mourning period is officially over. He's totally dating a high schooler."
"Okay! From here on out, no GIRLFRIENDS or GIRLFRIEND talk at practice, whether they're old, new or new-new. We were lucky to survive that last round. This is sudden death now. Okay?"
Supporting Role
"He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick! I hate his stupid guts! I'm gonna disembowel him!"
"It MUST be her fault. Obviously it's just a twist of fate or whatever, isn't it? Star crossed lovers! Born too late!"
Supporting Role
"So you've been out of high school for like, 13 years and-"
"Scott, you are the salt of the earth. .... Wait. I meant scum of the earth."
Supporting Role
"Three piece rock outfit with a semi-attractive female drummer? Music to my earholes. You know, I'm not even going to wait to see how you guys do in the final. I'm signing you right now for a three album deal. See? I'm not such a bad guy after all."
"If my cathedral of cutting edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall grant you a swift exit from the premises. And fast entrance into HELLLLLLL."
Supporting Role
"These Canadians offend my superior artistic abilities"
"Oh I concur"
"We are much better than them"
Supporting Role
"Back off hasbian. If Gideon can't have you, no one can. The League hath spoken."
"Fight your own battles, lazy ass! Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. Some sooner than others. Your B.F's about to get F'd in the B!"
Supporting Role
"Basically, you can't win this fight and you'll have to give up on this girl, 'cos Todd is going to kill you."
"Maybe you'll see him soon. We're playing Lee's Palace. You guys should like, so totally come."
"Just saying, cute couple. I like your outfit Ramona. Affordable?"
Supporting Role
"Hey. The only thing keeping me and her apart is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass."
"Looks like you're seeing double. He's good, right? Sometimes I let him do wide shots if I feel like getting blazed back in my winnie. I'm nothing without my stunt team."
Supporting Role
"You'll pay for this, Flowers! If you want to fight me, you're not the brightest. You won't know what's hit you in the slightest Me and my fireballs and my Demon Hipster Chicks, I'm talking the talk because I know I'm slick. Fireball Girls! Take this sucker down. Let us show him what we're all about."
"Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation?"
Minor Role
"Yeah man. Ramona Flowers. Someone said she was coming tonight actually."
"You got the hots for her? I hear she's hardcore..."
Minor Role
"This is called "I am so sad. I am so very very sad." And it goes a little something like this. Thank you."
" This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called "We Hate You, Please Die.""
Minor Role
"Some guy back in New York."
"I know. It's so 'Ramona Quimby, Aged 8' and yet...Flowers."
Minor Role.
"Doesn't she have the most ridiculous name?"
"I think she has a boyfriend."
Minor Role.
"I think you mentioned she was fa-"
"We should rinse-"
"She's cool? I thought she was fat-"
Minor Role
"Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested."
"And you didn't bang her? Are you gay?"
"It's over. Move on."
Lead Role.
" I didn't make up the gay rulebook. If you have a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's Ghost. Now put the bacon down and go do your dirt while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon on TBS Superstation."
"If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game. Break out the L-word. ... The other L-word. ... Okay, it's love. I wasn't trying to trick you or anything. Look, if she's really the girl of your dreams, then you have to let her know. You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path. You have the spirit of a warrior, Scott. You can do it! Be with her! It's your destiny! Plus, I need you to move out. ... Or someone. Either way, I'm kind of banking on her calling you back so I won't have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit. I have a feeling that's for you, guy"
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