Let's Read HOMESTUCK - Alternia Trolls Section
Project Overview
Howdy! This is a HUGE dub-over of the entirety of Homestuck, potentially including its epilogues. (If they're better by the time we get to them. Do not even get me started on what I think of them in their current state.) I'm splitting these calls into each character category, since there's SO MANY characters within Homestuck; this is the Alternia Trolls section, which is about the twelve trolls we see at the beginning of Act 5. They're the reason the four beta kids are even able to play Sburb in the first place.
If you've never read Homestuck, I'd advise that you do that and then come back; full disclosure, it's a MASSIVE time investment. Over 8000 pages. Really.
Some requirements:
1. A Discord account (Discord is what I use to contact people)
2. A good microphone, as I have way too much to handle without making your audio sound good (sorry if this sounds rude, but this is a massive project that requires a ton of time!)
3. Be at least 13 years old; there's a lot of cursing within Homestuck, and I've found that a majority of kids aren't fully on board with that; as well as the fact that it's inappropriate to curse this much in front of <13 year olds.
3a. Following the previous point, please be familiar with cursing! It's a huge part of certain characters' dialogue. (Dave, Karkat, etc.)
4. At least be somewhat familiar with Homestuck and its concepts. I'd ask for you to understand it, but it's ridiculously overcomplicated at times? So don't worry about it.
A recommendation, have a YouTube channel for me to advertise! I'd like for you all to get the credit you deserve, which can't really be done if you don't give me anything to forward people to!
Thank you for auditioning, and I'm happy to potentially have you on board!
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Karkat Vantas is the troll protagonist of Homestuck; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and, as with John Egbert, is the catalyst for most of the main events within the story. He's the Knight of Blood, and his land is the Land of Pulse and Haze. He sounds like a normal 13 year old boy, really. As with the other ten trolls, give your own spin on their voices!
I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE.
OOH, VAGUE BULLSHIT, IT'S THE EXACT FUCKING THING I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE A SLIME TECHNICIAN OR A FROG FARMER OR A MYSTICAL FUCKING CROAK DECODER. I'M A WARRIOR AND A LEADER AND A COLD BLOODED KILLER.
Tavros Nitram is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is generally disliked by most of the others. He's the Page of Breath, and his land is the Land of Sand and Zephyr. He's an exception to the rest of the trolls in that he has a canon speaking voice; he speaks in a faltering manner. Anything else is up to you!
i'M TOO CONFIDENT NOW TO LET MY AFRAIDNESS MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE,
fIRST, oK, i THINK YOU'RE FANTASTIC, wHICH IS TO SAY, jUST AN ENVIABLY COOL GUY, wHO i ADMIRE, lET'S PUT THAT COMPLIMENT ON THE TABLE WHERE WE CAN BOTH SEE IT,
aND i THINK CONSEQUENTLY, tHE EMOTIONAL RESULT IS PROBABLY, tHAT MAYBE i HAVE SOME POSSIBLE RED FEELINGS FOR YOU,
Sollux Captor is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is an extremely powerful psychic, as well as prone to themes of duality. He's the Mage of Doom, and his land is the Land of Brains and Fire. He's an exception to the rest of the trolls in that he has a canon speaking voice; he speaks in a lisp. Anything else is up to you!
ii recommend we dont bother wiith them, though aradiia 2eem2 two thiink we'll all be iin each other2 2ponge2 iineviitably.
oh my god ii ju2t had a breakthrough!!! thank you 2o much for thii2, iit wa2 great. that wa2 a joke, here type "ha".
fuck that ju2t watch, thii2 2hiit ii2 du2ted. check me out, all du2tiing iit liike a 2aucy fuckiin maiid.
Nepeta Leijon is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; she's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is very prone to cat puns, as well as roleplay. She's the Rogue of Heart, and her land is the Land of Little Cubes and Tea. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on her voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
its hard to explain, maybe cats think diffurntly, but trolls tend to be pretty cautious about expressing their f33lings when it comes to the flushed quadrant
heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve
*ac pawses a moment and nods knowingly with a couple of smug grins on her face*
Kanaya Maryam is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; she's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is very fashion-minded for a troll. She's the Sylph of Space (just like me!), and her land is the Land of Rays and Frogs. She speaks very clearly, and enunciates each word she speaks.
I Am A Bit Perplexed As To Why I Find Myself So Vehemently Fondling The Short End Of The Antagonism Stick Here
Well I Have Read A Lot Of Novels Too. I Just Dont Brag Much About It. Because It Would... Literally Be Preposterous To Do So
There See I Just Did It Too. Saying The Opposite Thing To Emphasize My Contempt. But Suddenly I Feel More Primitive And Hate Myself A Little More
Terezi Pyrope is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; she's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is extremely blind and extremely weird. She's the Seer of Mind, and her land is the Land of Thought and Flow. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on her voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
TH3R3 W1LL B3 T34RS. TH3Y W1LL SM3LL S4LTY, 4ND TH3N YOUR CH33KS W1LL B3 MY S4NDY B34CH
F1N3!!!! WOW D4V3. SO TOUCHY 4BOUT 4 S1LLY L1TTL3 CO1N
4ND NOW TH3 W1ND BOY MUST 3MBR4C3 H1S ROL3 4S TH3 W4YW4RD H31R, UNBOUND FROM TH3 T13S OF C4US4L1TY, 4ND PUT 4LL H1S F41TH 1N 4 F4LL3N S33R TO BR1NG R3D3MPT1ON TO US 4LL
Vriska Serket is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; she's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is absolutely fucking shithive maggots. She's the Thief of Light, and her land is the Land of Maps and Treasure. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on her voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
Can't you see I'm trying to but all that 8ehind me and make amends with every8ody?
Just hanging out, working together, not much drama except I guess for the occasional ethical de88 on on how our foes should 8e dealt with.
Do you want to flyyyyyyyy, Tavros? Have you ever tried to fly? I 8et you haven't! How a8out we take to the skies, Pupa!
Equius Zahhak is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is really strong and very obsessed with the hemospectrum. He's the Heir of Void, and his land is the Land of Caves and Silence. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on his voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
I will now seek the highb100d, Nepeta. I command you to go hide, as we di%cussed
Can you detect anything within you might describe as. Smoldering passion? I mean. Just out of curiosity
Are you saying the highb100d has finally embraced his position atop the hierarchy
Gamzee Makara is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is literally fucking insane once he's exposed to Insane Clown Posse. He's the Bard of Rage, and his land is the Land of Tents and Mirth. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on his voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
MOTHER FUCK NO, BRO. i'm not looking on any more of your blasphmemes.
AnD hOw It'S bEiNg AlL lIkE hIsSiNg AnD sHiT. mOtHeRfUcKiN hIsSiNg MaN, wHo WeNt AlL aNd ToLd It To Do ThAt? HoW wOuLd It EvEn Do ThAt, It'S cRaZy. iT's A mIrAcLe.
I mEaN, yOu GoT tO sHoW sOmE fAiTh In YoUr FrIeNdS, cAuSe ThEy'Re AlL tHe OnEs WhO'rE bEiNg To LoOk OuT fOr YoU.
Eridan Ampora is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; he's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is extremely racist towards landdwellers. He's the Prince of Hope, and his land is the Land of Wrath and Angels. He, canonically, speaks with a "weird and wavey sounding accent". You can interpret this however you'd like!
a magic wwand is that so? kar come on noww evveryone fuckin KNOWWS this memos rubbish
fate isnt real. its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS
noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth, purity, nonfakeness, hope, and abovve all SCIENCE
Feferi Peixes is one of the twelve participants in Homestuck's Alternian Sgrub session; she's 6 sweeps old as of the beginning of Act 5, and is the to-be empress of Alternia. She's the Witch of Life, and her land is the Land of Dew and Glass. As with the other trolls, put your own spin on her voice. I'd love to hear what you have!
Your clouds tell you everyth)(ing so w)(at do you even )(ave to worry about?
In order to be destined for moirallegience, both people have to be on board, don't you think? But I cannot do it anymore. So I think it just wasn't meant to be all along.
I mean, I don't really mind talking to t)(em! It could be fun and t)(ey look interesting. But I really don't t)(ink t)(is is all t)(eir fault.
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