Heartless: Audio Drama
Project Overview
"In this prequel to Alice in Wonderland, Catherine may be one of the most desired girls in Wonderland, and a favorite of the unmarried King of Hearts, but her interests lie elsewhere. A talented baker, all she wants is to open a shop with her best friend. But according to her mother, such a goal is unthinkable for the young woman who could be the next queen. Then Cath meets Jest, the handsome and mysterious court joker. For the first time, she feels the pull of true attraction. At the risk of offending the king and infuriating her parents, she and Jest enter into an intense, secret courtship. Cath is determined to define her own destiny and fall in love on her terms. But in a land thriving with magic, madness, and monsters, fate has other plans." - Desc taken from Goodreads
This will require a large cast of voice actors to embody their unique roles. The list of characters is too long to be exhaustive; I will go into most of them here but there will be more - which means that some of you may be asked to read for or to take on roles that are not on this list as they come up.
Because this audio drama will be covering a relatively long novel, it will take a little while to produce - however the length of this process is solely intended to keep the work load for voice actors very low, giving only a few lines at a time.
All characters unless otherwise specified will speak with an American accent. Please read the full description of the character you audition for; some lines may require important context which will be included in the description.
I may ask some voice actors to do chemistry reads or callbacks; please keep an eye on your DMs or Discord friend requests.
Auditioners must leave their Discord handle or email address with their audition! The project will be organized in a Discord server, but I will make accommodations for people who do not have Discord by looping them in via email.
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The protagonist of Heartless and our leading lady, Cath is a dreamer who wishes to open her own bakery with her best friend, despite her parents' more ambitious wishes for her. She has a youthful exuberance and is fearless, passionate, witty, and intelligent. The actress who plays her must be able to embody this as well as her ruthless, jealous side when she inevitably becomes the Queen of Hearts.
- female young adult
- american
(pleased with herself and excited) Might I introduce you to the most wondrous lemon tarts ever to be baked within the great Kingdom of Hearts!
(enraged, screaming, practically hysterical) GET OUT! It’s your fault this happened! You cursed us! GET OUT!
(bitter, livid, angry) That Catherine was a fool. You knew the bakery would never happen. You've known that I would end up either destitute or married to the stupid King, and any other hopes were meaningless.
Jest is the court joker in Hearts, though he is secretly on a mission from his home country of Chess. He is clever, witty, playful, and often quite sarcastic.
- male young adult
- american
(teasing) Far be it from me to intrude upon a lady’s untarnished reputation. Which part of our encounter should remain undisclosed? The part when you fainted in the grass and I heroically revived you? The part where we took an unchaperoned stroll through the gardens? Or perhaps the part where you confessed to having had a dream about me, and I must be quite the rake to hope it wasn’t as boring as you’ve suggested?
(earnest) You know, I understand now why the King is so drawn to you. You aren’t only talented, but… do you know, you’re extra beautiful when you talk about your baking. You know you’re good at it, and the knowledge lights you up.
(soft) I can’t stop thinking about you, Catherine. I’ve been trying, but it’s useless. You’ve had me mesmerized from the first moment I saw you in that red dress, and I don’t know what to do about it, other than to use every skill at my disposal to try and mesmerize you back.
Hatta is a very closed off and moody person. He can be haughty and overly confident. He often makes jabs and sly comments towards other people. He puts on a very strong and confident front, staying cool and collected. Hatta is very witty and is always ready with a comeback. At his core, he is afraid and is on the run from Time itself, seeking to avoid his family's curse of madness.
- male adult
- american
(baiting her) Perhaps we should ask Jest when he returns. I daresay he’s the expert. He doesn’t usually disappear this long. Perhaps he was already tired of your company.
(matter-of-fact) He went mad. It’s an unfortunate family trait, one that’s been passed down for generations. My father, and his father, and so many fathers back that one could never count them all. Every one a fine, gentlemanly hatter, and every one mad as march. But… (smiling slyly) I know a secret they didn’t know, so perhaps my fate isn’t as hopeless.
(breaking, madness has finally come) Stuff and nonsense. Nonsense and stuff and much of a muchness and nonsense all over again. We are all mad here, don't you know? And it runs in my family, it's part of my blood and he's here - Time has finally found me, and I... I haven't the slightest idea, Your Queenness. I find that I simply cannot recall why a raven is like a writing desk.
Raven is Jest's good friend who can take the form of both a bird and a human. He spouts poetry and maintains a constant stream of jabs and quips, often quoting Edgar Allen Poe. He is on mission alongside Jest from his country of Chess, and is an executioner for the White Queen. He is dry and melancholic.
- male young adult
- american
Lady hath stumbled on this midnight dreary, with a pallor frightfully pale and weary.
Such happiness I hope you’ll make, but these flirtations I cannot take. Wish for you all the joy this darkened world can employ, but you’re still giving me a stomachache.
A practical, kind-hearted maid, she is Cath's best friend and shares her dream of opening a bakery.
(gentle) I want that, too, of course. But… Cath. The bakery, much as we’ve talked of it, has always been, well… something of a silly dream, don’t you think?
(measured) I mean to say that I do not know him. And despite how willingly you’ve gone gallivanting about with him after dark, I am not convinced you know him, either.
(hysterical, crying and panicking) Cath… it’s… it’s his wife! I saw her going into the powder room at the theater looking like she was going to be ill, and the beast came out. There was no one else in there, I’m sure!
The King of Hearts is a very sweet, simple-minded man. He is cowardly and often covers up problems in the kingdom by throwing parties to keep the people's spirits up. He is well-intended but foolish. He is head-over-heels for Cath and enjoys her baking, but finds it hard to express himself. He is awkward and silly. His voice should be high and reflect his high-strung, overly positive nature. A good reference for him comes from the fan musical production of Heartless, see here: https://youtu.be/T3lOcC_lo7o?si=8jh4t6AKxP0ej3Si
- male adult
- american
Lady Pinkerton, you are a treasure. Though I must confess, I have a particular weakness for key lime tarts as much as lemon. You know what they say. Key lime is the key to a king’s heart! (giggles obnoxiously)
I cannot call myself an unbiased judge, your honorable Mr. Rabbit, our most thoughtful master of ceremonies! I am full of bias. For this very pumpkin cake set before us was made by the ever-charming Lady Catherine Pinkerton, a girl that is someday to be my bride! So, you see, for any contest in which she is a participant, I will say to you, yes! She wins it all, my heart, my joy! What a queen you will make, Lady Pinkerton, cake baker, and happiness maker! Oh, oh, somebody write that down! Jest - there you are! Write that down! I shall include it in my next poem!
(frightened) B-b-but, darling! We…we have never… In Hearts, we don’t… Why, sweetness, we don’t even have an executioner!
A sly and clever creature with a smooth voice and persona, Cheshire enjoys gossip and sampling Cath's treats (without permission).
*Though this role is written as a male character, I am not going to gender it. Whether you sound masculine or feminine, you may audition!*
(toying with her) Shall I congratulate you now? Or do you suppose premature well-wishes could bring bad luck? I can never recall the proper etiquette in these situations.
An empty threat from an empty girl. There was a time... (yawns) when you overflowed with whimsy and powdered sugar. I liked that Catherine better.
Cath's mother, she is doting but firm, extremely class-conscious, and she is single-mindedly set on making Cath the queen, regardless of her daughter's wishes.
- female adult
- american
Tighter, Mary Ann. This dress won’t fit without a twenty two inch waist, although just once I’d like to see you down to twenty. You have your father’s unfortunate bones, you know, and we must be vigilant if we’re to keep from having his figure, too.
(laughing) Can you imagine? *You* running a bakery? Why... you'd become an elephant! You can hardly control your sweet tooth as it is!
No, no, darling, it’s fine. It’s just— (She bursts into sobs) We didn’t know where you were, and there was…there was…an attack! (sniffles)
Kind and warm, Cath's father is close to her, but even he is conscious of social standing and values keeping his daughter at the same level or above.
- male adult
- american
(gentle but firm) You're young, dear, and whatever you think now, we have only your happiness in mind. We know what's best.
(furious) That is enough!! You will not disgrace this family any more than you already have.
Margaret is stuffy, full of her own virtue and intellect - and she does not hesitate to point out other's shortcomings or her own knowledge any chance she gets.
- female young adult
- british
I must warn you, my dearest Catherine, that such an endeavor to capture attention could lead to lifelong arrogance and vanity. It is much wiser to let your inner beauty shine through a drab gown that attempt to conceal it with physical accoutrements.
(dramatic) Oh! Must we speak of it? I feel faint at the memory. Did you know - that beast broke through the windows and headed straight for me! One is made to wonder if a creature with such wicked propensities might not be naturally drawn to one of goodness and pristine moral values, such as myself.
(covering up her own vanity, stammering) That is to say… naturally, that pride and… the sin of arrogance… it requires willpower to… to doff the vanity that such attention-grabbing-ness might… otherwise… prevail upon oneself.
The Duke is a shy, but kind man, but a bit awkward with Margaret, who he loves.
- male adult
I know. It’s absurd of me to think I might be worthy of such a dear creature, or that she could ever share my feelings. But it’s just… she’s the jammiest bit of jam, isn’t she? So very clever. And righteous. And so very, very… pink. But I can’t even bring myself to speak to her. I can’t imagine what she thinks of me.
(stammering, awkward) Well, I wouldn’t… Th-that is to say, any man would have… Lady Mearle was in danger, and I… it wasn’t anything spectacular, I assure you.
Gruff, rude, and uncouth, Peter Peter is sharp and unpleasant. The white trash of Wonderland.
- male adult
(snapping) You don’t be needing no more pumpkin! You’ve had plenty enough already.
(enraged, shouting) I'll kill you for what you've done to her! I'll post your head on my gate!
(low, threatening, growling) I will ruin you, Lady Pinkerton. Mark my words, if anything happens to her before I can fix this–
Sickly, meek, and softspoken, Lady Peter is small and weak, an object of our concern.
- female adult
(stammering, barely a whisper) Might you… have any pumpkin pasties? We sold some pumpkins to the royal pastry chefs yestermorn and heard tell they would be making them for the ball, but I haven’t–
(desperate) Please!! I’ll die without it. Please.
Rather high-strung, the White Rabbit is the master of ceremonies in Hearts and takes his role VERY seriously.
*Though this role is written as a male character, I am not going to gender it. Whether you sound masculine or feminine, you may audition!*
- american
(a bit judgy) Why, Lady Pinkerton. You look so…er… So very noticeable.
Presenting His Royal Majesty, the King of Hearts!
Three very young (6-8yrs) girls who live in the Treacle Well. They are very eerie and recite frightening prophecies.
- female child
- american
(reciting it like a child's poem) One to be a murderer, the other to be martyred, one to be a monarch, the other to go mad.
(singsong) It is a truth, but one of many. Many, many muchness. Eeenie meenie miney mo.
The turtle is meek, kind, and warm - and a bit small when tragedy strikes.
*Though this role is written as a male character, I am not going to gender it. Whether you sound masculine or feminine, you may audition!*
- american
*whimpering* I’m a real turtle. You believe me, don’t you?
!["till i'm old & gray" [animated feature film ]](https://images.castingcall.club/project_images/image-1166842-cccthumbnail2.png)
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