Fables | THIS PROJECTED HAS BEEN MOVED!

Only when we all thought she'd been murdered! Only in response to your quuestions, in an official investigation

I won't stand for this!

No, because she never "dumped" me, to use your own crude vernacular. We're still together, thought we've learned to be discreet about our relationship.

Over a year ago, Jack had another one of his all-too-numerous ge rich quick schemes. It was an idea for one of those dot-com startups, if you can believe it.

Nothing, as long as you behave. But if you expose us, we'll make you do something fatal to yourself. Hang yourself. Slit your wrists in the bath. Whatever strikes our fancy at the time. We've tasted your blood. You wan't be able to resist us.

Grimble, this is Bigby Wolf. Run up to Pinocchio's apartment and get him for me. If he's asleep, wake hi up. If he's out, go find him. He likes to drink at the Brainstock. Yes, it's important. Get moving.

Yes you were, ma'am, assuming you hoped to survive your last comment. Take my advice. Some topics are best never brought up. Never discuss personal hygiene with a bridge troll. Never trade casserole recipes with a black forest witch. But above all, when talking to the deputy mayor never mention the dwarves!

It's not like that. It's no big secret except that -- I'm not sure how to describe it. We have to do this every year. It's a duty, not a celebration. Inviting others would feel like trying to shift the burden onto someone else.

Snow: Ah, I get it. You don't want to dilute the guilt by sharing it.

I'm -- You can call me Blue. I'm aide de camp to Colonel Bearskin, comannder of the last of all free companies.

(yes this line is actually said in the issue we'll be dubbing)

As sorry as I am for your marital "difficulties," it isn't any of my business. We barely have enough money and manpower to run the most basic of underground government services. We can't afford to do marital counseling, and to be perfectly candid, I wouldn't allow it if we could. The mundanes may look to their government to solve their problems, but in the ffable community, we expect you to be able to run your own lives. Our only concern is that you're currently in violation of our most vital law: No fable shall, by action or inaction, cause our magical nature to become known to the mundane world. If you can't maintain a normal human apperance or purchase a concealing glamour from one of our witches our rules mandate that you be relocated upstate to the farm, where all the other nonhuman fables live.

Mister wolf! That's enough!

(ALMOST IN TEARS) Stop it! Both of you! You're acting like this is some private game but you're avoiding the one question that I need answered. Jack, is my sister dead? Did you kill her?

So this trip is going to be like one long encounter session with each other? Baring our souls? Airing our grievances andventing our spleens? Talking things out like civilized girls?

Relax, sis. You're safe from me. Even if I could get beyond the incest thing, you're not my type.

Because Colin's death wasn't the isolated act of a single lunatic. Because they can't afford to let us leave, or call for help. Open your fucking eyes, Snow, for christs' sake. Actually, forget I said that. You'll probably be safer the more you don't notice things. Do yourself a favor and continue playing the dullard for a few days. It should be ridiculously easy for you.

I am most certainly not having a good time. I never have a good time at this ridiculous celebration.

Because, sooner or later, that blue fairy, who turned me into a real boy, is going to show her face at one of these things, and I'm going to kick her pretty azure ass.

I'm over three centuries old and I still haven't gone through puberty. I want to grow up, I want my balls to drop, and I want to get laid.