Heartbreak For Hire
Project Overview
The show about 2 Anti-Cupid besties who mix business with torment! They aren't exactly human, but they are just as confused and fascinated with love as the rest of us. As freelance contractors, they are hired to break up relationships by any means necessary. Getting the bills paid is sometimes a struggle in their line of work, but in the end, with the power of friendship, they always get that bag!
THEMES: Love/Avoidance, Consumerism/Hustle Culture, Absurdity/Young Adult Comedy
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The natural scientist of Breakup For Hire, Moony is a passionate student of all things love and attraction. Although dedicated to a truer understanding of human love, Moony’s approach can sometimes be more detached and scientific, and she is known for her quick one liners that she delivers with her trademark deadpan inflection. She hasn’t quite figured out what its all about yet, but this little freak of nature goes with the flow and gets weird with it along the way.
*We want to cast a black voice actor for Moony who is a black character, looking foreword to your submissions!
- female young adult
- androgynous
- deadpan
Informative : "Interesting… This may be the perfect scheme to unveil my new “anti-love arrow”. Upon contact with mammalian red blood cells, it replaces attraction hormones with intrusive thoughts of YouTube car crash videos."
Questioning Val: "I don’t know… should we maybe workshop some ideas before arson? Maybe castration?"
Devastated: "What have we done…"
The “big sister” of Breakup For Hire, Val is a meddlesome little diva. A bad bitch to her core while also being Moony’s biggest cheerleader. She is passionately anti-love and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. While she is often guided by her big emotions, Val keeps the business afloat in hard times and gets the job done by any means necessary. She brings the energy and the sabotage, and always looks cute doing it!
- female young adult
- high energy
Energetic: "Hold your jizz bitch cus mama just secured us our next paycheck!"
Customer service mode: “Break up for hireeeeeee, ask about our seasonal polycule destruction special, how may I help you this eveniiiiing?”
Disgusted : "GAWD these humans are vile! Too bad the client wants him back alive. Disappointing."
Gaslight, girlboss, girlfriend, this bitch does is all.
- female young adult
- fake
- influencer voice
- american valley girl
BABE Oh wow, you’re like, dying. My followers will gobble this shit up!
I-i- like literally can’t live without you… OKAY BUT WHO ARE THE FREAKS WITH THE BOW AND ARROW, LIKE SERIOUSLY?!
Young, dumb, and gorgeous, with a little sprinkle of misogyny! Alpha male mentality but quick to revert to a helpless baby. A surface level character with a lot of comedy acting potential!
- male young adult
- Alpha Bro
- dumb
**mansplaining** Yeah so that’s like why I can’t read books written by women anymore. But like it’s really a form of feminist protest.
** dying** baby I’ll always love you… (sliding off seat, reaching for tit)one more squeeze before the darkness comes?
**in baby voice** Baby will you kiss my boo-boo to make it fewl betta?
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