Well as the title suggests, I am creating an abridged version of the original Teen Titans from 2003-2006. The project will require the following:
More roles will be added as the series goes on, but for now we are focused on the first (technically third) episode of the series.
Robin is the leader and one of the five founding members of the Teen Titans. He is a natural-born leader. He is heroic, noble, kind, selfless, stoic, stubborn, brooding and usually serious in tone. However, in the abridged series we are making him, aloof to Starfire's growing love for him. He has a jock-like voice and attitude mixed with a bit of fuckboy.
Psst, Starfish, what's a calzone? I've never ordered for myself before.
Holy shit, that bus driver is speeding! Fucking savage!
Looks like daddy finally got his belt back!
Raven is a half-Azarathian, half-demon hybrid who is one of the five founding members of the Teen Titans. Raven is one of the most mysterious characters throughout the series. She is quiet, seemingly emotionless, intelligent, studious, and sarcastic. She can always come up with a smart remark, specifically in reply to most of the Teen Titans' antics and attempts at humor. The abridged goes along with this emotional path, cause if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
They went into my room. NO ONE should ever go into my room!
You know that PornHub is free, right?
HELP! I have no fucking idea what she is saying!
Cyborg (sometimes "Cy") is the half-cybernetic half-man, chief technological expert and one of the five founding members of the Teen Titans. Cyborg is a very outgoing, cool, and fun-loving character who likes to enjoy life, especially since he found friends who consider him a person, not a freak. He is upbeat, smart, funny, and cheerful, but serious and heroic when he needs to be. The abridge makes him a loud, almost obnoxious person who has no filter and an extreme love for porno magazines.
You stole my hair comb, my modelling portfolio, my selfie camera…
Weren't you talking about how you could travel faster than light? What the fuck took you so long?
I DO WHAT I WANT. And if you all haven’t noticed, we have no home, no leader, and NO PORNO MAGS!
Starfire (sometimes "Starfish") is an alien princess from the distant world of Tamaran, and one of the five founding members of the Teen Titans. She is very cheerful and sweet, yet somewhat naive and considerably insecure. The abridged version, flips that and makes her into a bold and obscenity-laden character. Her unrequited love for Robin is blatant and gives her a Yandere complex. Due to her being from Tamaran though, she looks at War on Earth from an objective standpoint and can make her statements extremely inappropriate if taken out of context.
Daddy! Daddy! Daddy’S HERE! URESHII DESU!
I leave for a FUCKING HOUR AND YOU GOT ROBIN KILLED YOU EMO CUNT!?
I left some of my cultural food in the fridge, I'll grab some so we can discuss the benefits of ethnic cleansing over a living snack.
Beast Boy (sometimes "B.B.") is a former member of the Doom Patrol and one of the five founding members of the Teen Titans. Beast Boy plays the role of the lighthearted jokester of the group. He is playful, dim-witted, energetic, and often immature. His abridged counterpart takes a piece from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged's very own Satan as he is a hipster, but still is child-like and a jokester.
I’m telling you, I didn’t take it! I don’t ever pound my meat, I’m a vegan!
That camera was vintage. It should be used for art, not selfies. AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE HAIR!
Ah, magic. It's non-GMO, right?
Gizmo is a criminal expert of technology who has confronted the Teen Titans on a number of occasions. He is usually affiliated with the H.I.V.E.. Gizmo has a very nasty attitude to most things. He usually shows little to no respect to anyone, even his own teammates. The running joke I made for the abridge is that he is a cancer-ridden Cailou. He idolizes Robin and is childish in nature, making corny jokes and is very defensive about his belongings.
Are you an egg? Cause you’re about to get beat.
Well, guess I'm not gonna get that high five from Robin. Bright side, we have an open table!
Oh golly, it's Robin! I was gonna get to meet him as my dying wish… But he canceled.
Doesn't Appear Until Episode 2, however, this doesn't mean that you cannot be a part of cast readings, and most likely you will be an understudy for Starfire. Blackfire is genuinely friendly and just making Starfire jealous on accident. In the end, Starfire frames Blackfire so she ends up getting arrested.
The name's Blackfire! Star has told me soooo much about you guys! Side Whore! (She means Cyborg in this line, but fucks up the names)
But why would I leave. You guys are my friends, especially robin.
I was just so eager to see you! Can you please do me a favor and get me a beverage? While she’s gone I’ll tell you how i arrived...
So Mammoth is a complete 180 from his original in the notion that he is a polite british gentleman, who still carries out his part in his H.I.V.E but apologizes almost incessantly.
These blue delicacies taste like the corpses of infants. However, my body requires nutrients. *AGGRESSIVE EATING NOISES*
Sorry to interrupt your lunch.
Terribly sorry, I'll be sure to clean up.
She's just an old lady running a school, whats more to add.
Yes, Mr. Slade?
They come in a bundle, sir.
I assure you that failure is not tolerated in our establishment, these students will be disciplined by the time they get back. Strictly... Disciplined
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