Duh, I just said it wasn't for sale. Gosh, you really are the typical customer, asking dumb questions and shit. 'sides, it's dangerous. Let this one guy ride it once, ended up with his femur coming out of his throat. I've been on the deepest, darkest forums in 4chan, and that shit made even me feel queasy… plus People try to steal it, that's why it's locked up. If this thing ever got loose, my boss would cook my goose.  

Girl, it's way faster than just fast. It's the fastest broom there is!

nah, nah, nah, even if you did have this thing, you wouldn't beat Diana. She's clearly the best in the relay this year. She's going to be this year's winner, no doubt about it!