Hey if you looked like Ryan Reynolds crossed with a shar-pei, you'd understand!

How to be a super-villain, lesson 32: "When attacking your enemy, do not scream like a girl scouts -- as that may tend to alarm him to your presence, giving him the split-second he needs to reach --" his concussion grenades!!

You wanted to hear my story. Well, here it is: my name is Wade Wilson. I spent a lotta years doin' things I wasn't particularly proud of. Then I got cancer. Then I joned the Weapon X Project, hopin' to find a cure. I gained a healing factor which eliminated the cancer, and most of my skin. Then I washed out of Weapon X as a failed genetic mess. I was discarded, along with dozens of others. Left to rot -- in the dead pool. Busted out. Did a few more things I wasn't particularly proud of before I found my calling -- as Deadpool. Did more stuff. Saved the Universe. Got myself scragged -- woke up here -- wherever "here" is -- with you -- whoever you are. Which brings us to Chapter X: "Egghead gets his neck snapped!" A Quinn Martin Production.