Midnight Pals: The Tale of Dracula
rcohare for Dracula
Guest lead (39 lines). The eponymous old-school vampire, who traps Jonathan Harker in his Transylvanian castle and then wreaks sexy bitey vampire havoc in London. Stoker actually changes the character's name to "Dr. Acula" at the last minute as a result of an argument with Clive Barker. In Stoker's mind, Dracula represents the danger and disgustingness of all things sexy. Played as an old school Bela Lugosi impression—please feel free to ham it up for all it's worth.
- english
- male adult
- romanian
- eastern european
[HAVING BEEN CALLED "MR. ACULA" BY JONATHAN HARKER] Um, that’s "Dr. Acula", actually. I didn’t go to 4 years of Scholomance medical school just to be called mister, thank you very much.
[TO HARKER, WHOM DRACULA IS PLANNING TO TRAP IN HIS CASTLE] I’d like you to write a letter to your fiancée and tell her that you’re going to spend the next month here in my castle, just hanging out with me, like bros... maybe drink a little bit of each other’s blood, nothing gay, you know.
[HAVING ARRIVED IN LONDON, SEARCHING FOR VICTIMS] I’ve come to England and now, using the Pick-Up Artists’ Guide to London, I shall finally achieve my goal: of drinking some delicious English lady blood! I’ve heard that English women are very submissive and respectful. Not like women back home in Romania--they’ve all been ruined by western feminism. Mmm, do I spy an open window? Perhaps some delicate bloom of English womanhood awaits within, some delectable morsel of vitality filled with blood like a big, wobbling blood balloon.
