The streets are always pretty dirty at night… which is always… and if you ain’t careful, you’ll get dragged down into the dirt too. See, I’m a man who enjoys his suits, I like ‘em clean, and I think it’d be a real shame if anything ever happened to them. I follow 3 rules to keep my suits clean. One: No Dames. I ain’t no simpin’ scumbag, I don’t tip my waitresses, and I sure as hell don’t hold the door. In my line of work it’s bad for business. Two: No taking off the hat while on the job, which is always. A man is nothing without a good hat, and I ain’t gonna get caught with a head full of nothin’ like some kind of day 1 dew licker. Lastly, Rule number Three: Never, under any circumstance, go anywhere near The Applebees. The only chance a guy like me would go to a place like that would be if I had an itch to puke up blood on the side of the walk. It’s these three rules that have kept me clean, and it’s these three rules that’ll keep it that way. 

Well, looks like this punk played his last game of… eh, I’m too sober to come up with a witty one liner. I’ll just steal his wallet instead.

Huh, and here I thought a piece of gum would stop an entire train from moving. Ah well, live and learn I guess.