Great job! You have a believable salesperson tone. I could totally see you doing paid commercial work. Excellent.

Dang, you sound like you are born for making people spend their money. Great sales pitch!

I like the unique character you added to this performance! My main feedback is the genuine nature of the read. It felt like you were pushing to give us that energy, which is fantastic, but make sure we can really FEEL that passion. Use your entire body to push that voice from the diaphragm and give your all to sell us this product. Aside from that though, your articulation felt good, and I liked your pacing. Just make sure you aren't taking too many unnecessary and shallow breaths through your many pauses. Keep up the good work!