Your voice is lovely, however to me, you sound like you're reading a script and not talking to an audience. I know that's what we're doing, but we are supposed to "advertise" to the "client." Again, your voice is lovely, but try to sound like you are talking to a gym full of people.

I LOVE the tone of your voice. I thought your enunciation was really good. One thing I noticed is that during the first part, the S sounds at the end of words would hiss a little. I often have trouble with that too. That said, I didn't really notice it in the second half, so I think you'll figure it out in no time. Also the "some restrictions may apply" line sounded SO GOOD. I actually went back and listened to it again. I could hear that delivery in a ton of commercials.

Great read! You have a very nice voice. The pace was good, but make sure you're focusing on your clarity, especially when doing a read like this. Articulation should be #1! My other piece of advice for you is to mix up your voice. It doesn't sound exactly monotone, but it does feel like you are reading a script. Bring more energy to your take, which will in turn spice it up and make it sound like you are TRULY passionate about selling this product! Overall, work on your articulation and projection both, and your voice will improve in no time. Nicely done.