I never thought...how many people did I let down?

You felt sorry for yourself-- so you tore up the warmest, brightest woman who ever walked the Earth! I don't care how scrawny you are-- little man-- I'm going to beat you till there's nothing left at all!

Sorry... No outside influences. It would have changed a lot of things if there had been, wouldn't it? But no, I made my own mistakes... And I have to live with them.