I am Astrologist Mona Megistus, meaning "The Great Astrologist Mona." If it is divination you seek from me, then I ask you respect my name by learning it wholly, here and now.

When I first received my Vision, the elderly woman that gave it to me, she put on this air and said "May your heart of truth be with you." And yet this thing does nothing for my hydromancy, all it does is get me wet.

You want me to explain how astrology works? I'm not sure you'd understand even if I told you. But since you ask... The method I use is called hydromancy. The art of inferring fate from the illusory reflection of the stars on the water's surface. The inverted reflection in the water is an image of the heavens from within which the truth of our world can be observed. ...It is the one and only success story of that old lady's research endeavors.