Mass Effect: The Suicide Mission (LE2/ME2 Parody)
Project Overview
Welcome to the Suicide Mission BioWare’s ultimate “You better hope you picked the right space wizard to hold the damn door” finale. After hours of building loyalty, probing planets for iridium, and listening to Tali explain ship ventilation systems, it all comes down to this: a one-way trip through the galaxy’s deadliest car wash the Omega-4 Relay.
Your goal?
Infiltrate a space meat factory run by alien Terminators, rescue your kidnapped crew (if they’re still, y’know... digestible), and stop a giant human-shaped Reaper fetus made out of gooey nightmares and poor life choices.
This is entirely a fan project with possible to and non profit from out of pocket towards members of the team. As a fan of mass effect this was a dream I wanted to do and it will be heavily modded with outfits etc and cool unique dialogue for each chapter of characters.
with each week we will add more characters during scenes etc.
stay tuned keep an eye out!
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Liara T’Soni is a brilliant Asari scientist and Prothean expert… with a deep, borderline disturbing obsession with Commander Shepard. At first glance, she’s sweet, shy, and endearingly nerdy — but mention Shepard’s name and her voice dips into unhinged devotion. She tracks Shepard’s every move, hoards data logs like love letters, and sees any rival for Shepard’s affection as a problem to be eliminated… quietly.
In this parody, Liara plays the “yandere” archetype: lovesick, over-attached, and just a little terrifying. Think Gasai Yuno from Future Diary meets Mass Effect lore nerd. Whether she’s whispering sweet nothings or threatening Shepard’s latest crewmate with a biotic implosion, she always does it with a smile.
- adult
- female adult
- all english accents
- fluent in almost any english speaking accent
“Shepard… I was analyzing the neural imprint of your voice again. It’s... soothing. Like the hum of a mass relay… or the sound of a heartbeat in a stasis chamber.”
"If Miranda touches you... I will smear the wall with her.... Darling....." (Sadistic/Yandere voice)
"Oh?! whose these females you have with you shepard? are they.... Yours?! Hmmmmm?!?!"
Miranda Genetically perfect, totally knows it. Cerberus’ resident cheer-captain with a side of ice queen energy. Thinks saving the galaxy is just another excuse to show off her biotic moves—and her designer jumpsuit. She’s smart, deadly, and only slightly insufferable. Go team… Miranda.
- english
- female adult
- british
- fandub
- fluent in almost any english speaking accent
The Reapers are coming, obviously. But more importantly, we can’t waste any more time. We need Shepard back. Like, now. Not in six months, not in three. I’ve already waited two years and frankly, I’m at my limit. My hair serum is stress reacting"
"You didn’t see them, okay? The way they looked at me when I said 'mission briefing.' The subtle nod. The connection. You can't engineer that, sir. Believe me—I would’ve
"Oh Ashley? yeah she died... like a bitch and cried for you shepard ... oh? did I forget something else? wanna cry about it? Cope cry seethe and mold shepard"
Normandy’s resident pilot, professional smartass, and the only person allowed to roast a Reaper while barrel-rolling away from it. Constantly complaining, chronically sarcastic, and weirdly married to his pilot’s chair. Has hollow bones, but his insults are solid steel. Thinks he's the funniest person alive and unfortunately, he's kinda right.
- english
- adult
- all english accents
- male adult
- fluent in almost any english speaking accent
"Hey uh, that ship is kinda.. Not matching up.. and why is it... Oh... (shout) Oh fuck!...."
"HEY UH SYSTEM ALLIANCE?! YEAH THIS IS JOKER! SEND SOME HELP MAYDAY?! ANYONE!? ahhh... shit--- Shit shit shit...." (over coms)
"Yo watch the arm man! shit hurts like a mother fucker!"
- english
- all english accents
- male adult
- video game
- fluent in almost any english speaking accent
*Say something you think would fit*
*Say something you think would fit*
*Say something you think would fit*
*Say something you think would fit*
NIhlus survived how?! me2 modded
"Surprise motha fuckah" (Dexter reference)
"You thought my old ass died on that planet? Ya know I got off that bitch right?"
"Those blue suns, always running their mouths you know how it can be shep, sides finishing jobs is what I did best when I was a spectre fuck saren by the way, he is a lousy shot"
Commander Shepard
- male adult
- creature
- any
Improve Here
Jack from mass effect 2, Russian Accent instead
- female adult
Improv
Kaiden Alenko Mass Effect 1/2/3
Improv
Drell Assassin from ME2
Improv
I AM URDNOT WREX!
"Shepard? Shepard.. SHEPAAAARRRRRRRRDDDDD"
IMPROV
You son of a bitch (Predator Reference)
Improv
She's a green Asari from that ME1 mission
Improv
Kasumi from ME2
Improv
WE ARE HARBINGER
WE ARE ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!
SUBMIT NOW SHEPARD
WE ARE HARBINGER
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