Homestuck Comic Dub
Project Overview
This is the second upload of this project for the roles we don't have filled yet!
We (as in me and the other project owners) are Homestuck fans who decided they'd like to do a fan dub of the comic!
Just so you know, you can get multiple roles. All the roles left out are either already taken or aren't needed for now.
In order to be a part of our project, please join our discord server! If you don't join your role will be forfeited.
https://discord.gg/cNqDnBt
When you are logged in, you can comment, add submissions, create projects, upvote, search open roles, and way more. Login here.
This is the main narrator of the comic! A very clear voice is needed, but it can be pretty much however you want as long as it is somewhat "normal" and easy to understand. Nothing too crazy!
Shit!!! While you were distracted with the newspaper in dreamland, Squarewave has ambushed you for a rap-off!!!
Told you bro. Can't let your guard down for a second.Remember how that happened? That didn't stop being a thing that happened or anything.
You retrieve your adorable amphibious arms from your RAG OF DEMONS. And in doing so you reveal them to be adorably grasping the dreaded CROOK OF FRAILTY. No young salamancer should dabble in the dark arts without one.
EB: happy?
EB: wow, i dunno.
EB: i don't really know her well enough to say, i guess?
EB: plus, i was a little distracted.
EB: maybe i will find out next time i go to sleep.EB: maybe later, i will drop by your planet again and rescue you, thus breaking the spooky spell put on you by your nefarious, shadowy masters.
EB: it was hard to tell what was going on, but i saw him!
EB: im pretty sure it was the future, and he had the ring, and...
Dave is one of the four beta kids in the comic.
TG: i guess ill bone up on the faq for a while
TG: so i dont do anything stupid and deploy like 10 crux flangers and fuck up the whole game
TG: oh my god
TG: so many words
TG: do you think like the pulitzer committee is secretly scouring the dregs of the gamefaq archives or something
TG: damnDAVE: this is like some ex alien boyfriend prime directive shit
DAVE: i cant intervene cause i dont know what im talking about
DAVE: but you do so i guess keep goingDAVE: you are
DAVE: some sort of freak right
Roxy is one of the four alpha kids in the comic.
ROXY: so youre sayin
ROXY: youre surprised im unlike her in that way cause i dont seem like someone whod get drunk off her ass all the time?TG: want 2 wear that outfit
TG: want 2 kiss + marry that outfist
TG: look
TG: at that lollipop
TG: that fuckin LOLLIPOP
TG: hehhe look at me goin in 4 a lick
TG: like im the queen of fuckall yallTG: u a holes are behaving straight up RUDE i dont need this shit
TG: fuuuuuuuck AAAAAAAAAAALL YAAAAAAAAAAALL
Jake is one of the four alpha kids in the comic.
GT: Give me some credit man and some to yourself as well. You are too modest about all this robotics noise.
GT: Well damn.
GT: Looks like the egg monster took quite the spirited dump on my face this time.GT: Wow i still have so many questions.
GT: Its incredible that this is all going to happen right around the corner! I dunno if im ready...
Equius is one of the twelve beta trolls in the comic.
CT: D --> I don't understand
CT: D --> Are you
CT: D --> Are you saying
CT: D --> That
CT: D --> You are in a position of control over meCT: D --> There are no %%ings up my sleeve
CT: D --> Also, I don't have sleeves
CT: D --> I am as transparent as can be, and my word is my bondCT: D --> I command you to have free will and do as you please
CT: D --> And continue being bothersome and unpredictably destructive
CT: D --> I mean
CT: D --> If you want
Gamzee is one of the twelve beta trolls in the comic.
TC: AwW MoThErFuCk, No :o(
TC: I MoSt sUrElY wOuLd gEt mY ReMeMbEr oN FoR A BiTcHtItS TiMe hAd lIkE ThAt
TC: My mInD'S NoT ThAt sHaRp nOw tHoUgH, iT'S BeEn aGeS SiNcE I HaD A GoOd pIeTC: I DoN'T GeT TiMe
TC: I WaSn't tHe dUdE Of tImE
TC: I WaS ThE
TC: ThE MoThErFuCkIn
TC: BaRd oF
TC: FuCk
TC: I FoRgOt :o(PTC: HeY BeSt fRiEnD.
PTC: nOw wHaT ThE MoThEr fUcK WiLl i bE SuPpOsEd tO Do?
PTC: i'M nOt FoLlOwInG.
Eridan is one of the twelve beta trolls in the comic.
CA: oh god youre right i do
CA: i totally forgot about itCA: i dont knoww
CA: it probably doesnt matter
CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless nowwCA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwful
CA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked
Karkat is one of the 12 beta trolls in the comic.
CG: THEY MAKE IT MORE EMBARRASSING TO KNOW YOU.
CG: WHICH IS A FRIGGIN MIRACLE THAT THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.
CG: LIKE, WOW, GOD SURE COOKED UP A DOOZY THERE.
CG: TWINKLY EYED SON OF A BITCH JUST KEEPS YOU GUESSING, DOESN'T HE.CG: IT'S REALLY FUCKING UNSETTLING WHEN YOU DO THAT.
CG: I WONDER HOW FAR BACK YOU KNOW IT
CG: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A SPECIAL POINT OF NOT BEING THE ONE TO TELL YOU, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU THE SATISFACTION.CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY HMM AGAIN
CG: BUT COME ON
CG: DON'T YOU FIND THE SITUATION TO BE JUST THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTING?
Rufioh is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
RUFIOH: between you and me... 1 m1ss the days 1 could just jam w1th her about troll an1me... but now... you know how 1t 1s...
RUFIOH: l1ke... don't get me wrong... we had some good t1mes together... 1t's been great really...
RUFIOH: but maybe 1t's t1me to uh... 1 dunno.RUFIOH: no... not yet...
RUFIOH: 1 tr1ed... but 1 just couldn't do 1t... 1t's hard, you know?
Mituna is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
MITUNA: F15CHY FUCK3Y 815QU3 4ZZ H4G
MITUNA: Y0UR3 571LL 70UCH1NG M3 4ND 1 D0N7 UND3R574ND WHY 7H15 15 H4PP3PP1NG
MITUNA: WH4H47
MITUNA: N0G3
MITUNA: M4Y83 1 M347
MITUNA: 1 D0N7 D0N7
Kankri is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
KANKRI: Y9u w9uld understand if y9u spent time actually researching 9ther cultures t9 gain a m9re c9mprehensive f9undati9nal perspective 9n 9ur systemic pr96lems instead 9f meddling in 9ther pe9ple's enlightening and en9rm9us c9nversati9ns.
KANKRI: 9k. I'll interrupt my imperative m9n9l...dial9gue just this 9nce.
KANKRI: F9r y9u.KANKRI: I feel I sh9uld jump in here at this m9ment, 6ef9re this escalates any further, and we start thr9wing ar9und hateful rhet9ric that we can't take 6ack.
Latula is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
Latula: tru f4ctz grl!!! just j4m yours3lf 1n th3 p1l3, l1k3z th1s!!!
LATULA: just n33d to scop3 your k1ckfl1p chopz, m4k3 sur3 3v3ryth1ng ch3cks out. s33 1f your t3chn1qu3s 4r3 wh3r3 th3y n33dz to b3 4t.
LATULA: th4t w4s...
LATULA: so...
LATULA: fr3ak1ng...
LATULA: R44444444444444D1C4L!!!
LATULA: holy smok3z grl, 1 d1dnt th1nk you 3v3n h4d gr1ndz l1k3 th4t.
LATULA: so you s4y you w4nn4 b3 m3 huh? w3ll, you got 1t! h3llz grl, 1m not sur3 1f 1 shouldnt b3 th3 on3 4sk1ng to b3 YOU!!!
Horuss is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
HORUSS: 8=D < I suppose Rufioh should ask. He's always been the only one who can parse your vulgar, peasant tongue.
HORUSS: 8=D < Your Harness... I mean Hayness. Highness I mean.
HORUSS: 8=D < F*DDLEST*%. Please pardon my utterly e%ecrable language, and unforgivable stammering, your Horseness.
HORUSS: 8=D < I am a bale of nerves in your royal presence, and it has been so long.HORUSS: 8=D < Anyway, I apologize for talking so much. You know how you have a way of drawing the breath out of people.
HORUSS: 8=D < What were you trying to tell me?
Kurloz is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
KURLOZ: EXCELLENT WORK, MY MAGE
KURLOZ: WITH THIS MOST RIGHTEOUS MOTHER FUCKIN PELVIC APPAREL, THE WICKED ENSEMBLE IS NOW COMPLETE
KURLOZ: IT MUST BE DELIVERED TO THE BARD OF RAGE AT ONCE, SO THAT HE MAY CONTINUE OUR MIRTHFUL MOTHER FUCKIN WORKKURLOZ: LONG LIVE THE ANGEL OF DOUBLE DEATH
KURLOZ: AY MOTHER FUCKIN MEN, MY WICKED KITTYBITCH
Cronus is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
CRONUS: nowv, please don't tell anyone i said so, but you and i both knowv pretty much all these people should feel honored to go out vwith a guy like me.
CRONUS: vwowv. thanks, pal.
CRONUS: youre right. my feelings really are real. not fake, like the huge disappointing fraud that magic turned out to be.CRONUS: vwhat? no, come on guy. im just givwing you a friendly little shoulder massage, vwith one hand, like this. see? in a vway that seems vwery casual, like "bros" do. please dont make this more awvkvward than it needs to be.
Damara is one of the twelve alpha trolls in the comic.
If you can translate it accurately, you can go ahead and do it in english with a somewhat japanese accent.
DAMARA: あなたは、どういう意味ですか。それは恋人があなたを裏切ったときに感じる？はい、私は知っている。
DAMARA: あなたは私になりたいですか？
DAMARA: あなたは私にはできません。あなたは私を理解できない場合。
DAMARA: さらに。あなたは私にはできません。あなたは私を性交することができない場合。DAMARA: 正確にどのくらいの。あなたは知りたいですか？水のビッチ。
CALLIOPE: i didn't mean to change the sUbject.
CALLIOPE: please tell me aboUt yoUr garden!UU: yes, yoU're right of coUrse. i'm probably getting carried away as UsUal.
UU: forgive my enthUsiasm, it's jUst that i so rarely have anyone to talk to who shares my passion for these matters.
UU: certainly not my cUrmUdgeonly coplayer. >:UUU: there is so mUch for me to keep track of, and it gets very difficUlt to remember what information to reveal at what time when yoU are flUstered.
uu: IF I DIDN'T FIND THE HuMAN EMOTION OF FRIENDSHIP.
uu: NEARLY AS SICKENING AS IT BARELY QuALIFIES.
uu: AS AN ACTuAL EMOTION.THERE'S A COMMOTION. THE HAUNTING SOUND OF NEIGHS. EXCEPT. THEY'RE ROBOT NEIGHS?
uu: I DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT HOPE.
uu: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FORCE OF "UNPARALLELED POWER". BUT REALLY. IT SOUNDS SO LAME.
uu: BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHY IT MAKES SENSE THAT IT'S YOUR ASPECT.
I'm not 100% sure what to put about Doc Scratch, but he is a guardian.
Yes, good. Placate yourself with the scottie dogs, Slick. My supply is bottomless. I am an excellent host.
When I am finished with this minor interruption, we will resume our gentlemanly negotiation. I will proceed to beat you severely until you agree to do what I ask. I trust you won't take it personally.
Immortality notwithstanding, I'm not going to live forever, you know.
Andrew Hussie.
Anyone can be a mobster though. Even cherubs and leprechauns.
Being a mobster isn't about what you look like, it's about what's inside you.Granted!
But come on. Just let it slide this one time? Please?
Just no more shooting. You can slap him around if you want. That's fine. But shooting is off limits.I'm debating whether I should play the elevator music again.
Would that be funny? I'm not sure.
Kind of borderline, really.
Mindfang is an ancestor.
If my o8session with the dragon should continue to 8urn for so long, would he 8e the one to assist me in taming it? I did not have enough knowledge to ask the right questions when I had the opportunity.
Due to his indomita8le nature, I 8elieve victory over his sister was a foregone conclusion. 8arring a highly impro8a8le glitch in causality, it would 8e almost impossi8le for her to predomin8te over someone like him. And even so, he didn't have the patience to w8.
I have never spoken nor written of him out of contempt for the prophecy, 8ut do so here, in my final entry for this journal.
The Condesce is an ancestor.
)(IC: you take a flip thru ma secret jam yet
)(IC: dat sparkle shit i left w tha dance clowns on)(IC: yo dont fuck with my heiress
)(IC: gurl got royal bidness porpoises to attend)(IC: gurl u made your cocoon
)(IC: DWI
Spades Slick is a member of the midnight crew!
Funny, you didn't hear any commotion or gunplay. But it looks like there's already been some action in here. Or there will be. You can never take tense for granted with these goons.
Smooth as clockwork, and every bit as logical.
Deuce and Droog split up to neutralize as many Felt as they can find. Your heavy muscle and expert safecracker, Boxcars, is headed straight down to the vault.
Diamonds Droog is a member of the midnight crew!
Whoever took your hat is about to discover he's the unluckiest man on earth. He better hope you find him dead. What you're gonna do to him will be much less painful that way.
Whew. Your SWEDISH FISH are there.
This is why it's a good idea to always store your candy in your BACKUP HAT rather than your usual one. Other members of your gang have learned this the hard way and they're finally starting to catch on.Suddenly you get coldcocked in the face from the future.
You'd know the knuckles belonging to that suckerpunch anywhere.
Hearts Boxcars is a member of the midnight crew!
This is just absolutely the most ridiculous thing you could possibly choose to do right now. I mean come on.
Knowing these guys, you've got to alter the flow of time itself to make it work. Which of course is bullshit. You think you'll just blow it up instead.
You retrieve your pair of WAX LIPS.
If anyone tried to steal your WAX LIPS, you would eat their eyeballs and deliver an angry lecture into their empty sockets.
Clubs Deuce is a member of the midnight crew. Please try and give him a higher pitch, sort of wacky/silly voice!
He remains tight-lipped, so you deal him a senseless shin-drubbing with your CROOK OF FELONY.
Oh the humanity. You can barely watch.Why would you do that? All of these clocks are lovely. You see no reason to harm them.
You begin a feeble campaign of psychological warfare. Perhaps compromising his fashion motif is the way to get to him.
Jaspersprite is the sprite prototyped with Rose's cat Jaspers!
JASPERSPRITE: I think that winning this game and getting the prize is up to you and your friends.
JASPERSPRITE: You get to decide whether or not you feel its right to do that and what kind of prize you want to make!JASPERSPRITE: All the life in the ocean and all the shiny rain and the songs in your head and the letters they make.
JASPERSPRITE: A beam of light i think is like a drop of rain or a long piece of yarn that dances around when you play with it and make it look enticing!JASPERSPRITE: You shouldnt lose hope!
JASPERSPRITE: I have another story that might give you hope even though it should be noted again that im only a cat.
Nannsprite is the sprite prototyped with John's grandma.
NANNASPRITE: John, don't forget your book!
NANNASPRITE: It is your birthright! You ought to give it a read when you have a moment. Particularly the first several pages!NANNASPRITE: You see, this hatching occurs automatically in response to your arrival! The result is a pair of Kernels, one dark, one light, each carrying the information they were prototyped with before the hatch!
NANNASPRITE: Why, John! Do you hear that sound?
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