Deadpool: The Comic Dub That Let's Face It, Everybody's Doing Nowadays So We might As Well Do It Too Because It's Deadpool And He's Fucking Hilarious
Project Overview
What the fuck is this shit?
This is going to be a series of fandubs for the comic books for our merc with the mouth Deadpool!
For those of you unfamiliar with the character, Google the bastard. He's fucking everywhere. You know that t-shirt of the guy in the red mask your cousin wore last Christmas? That was Deadpool. But if you're really that lazy, Wade Wilson is a disfigured mercenary with the superhuman ability of regeneration and physical prowess. The character is known as the "Merc with a Mouth" because of his tendency to talk and joke constantly, including breaking the fourth wall for humorous effect and running gags. And yes, I did just copy and paste that from Wikipedia cus I'm a lazy asshole.
Requirements:
1. Please ensure your microphone can record your voice without picking up overwhelming background noises or excessive peaking/clipping. We don't want any earraping, that's not cool.
2. You must have a Discord account, cus who doesn't have Discord these days? I mean come on, it's badass, you get a cookie and everything!
3. Your voice files must be sent in a .wav format, though if it ends up too big (that's what she said), .mp3 files will do as an alternative.
4. You need to have a very clear idea of the character you're auditioning for. I would also like you to describe in the audition description what version of the character you were going for or if you were doing something original with it.
5. Open Ethnicity, POC Actors HEAVILY encouraged to audition. We're not living in the '50s, people, let's not whitewash this.
6. Remember to have fun! Cus if you hate doing this then why the fuck are you auditioning?
Thank you all so much for reading and I can't wait to hear all of your auditions!
Voice Actor
Wade Wilson has a Multiple-Choice Past, but his most consistent comic book origin story is being a former special forces soldier who worked as a mercenary assassin until he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then entered the Canadian Department K's Weapon X program after all conventional treatments failed. Hoping to get cured and become a hero, Wade received an experimental treatment derived from Wolverine, a mutant with a Healing Factor who has a history with Weapon X. Wade gained enhanced physical abilities along with Wolverine's healing factor, but with a twist — Wade's healing factor rapidly repairs and replicates cells, so it cures his cancer, then quickly brings the cancer cells back, and eradicates them again and again. This ongoing process ruined his outward appearance and his mental stability, which wasn't helped by torturous "experiments" under Dr. Killebrew and his assistant Francis Fanny a.k.a. Ajax. Wade fell in love with the personified Death as he longed for his pain to end. The test subjects ran a betting pool for how quickly each patient would be dead — the "Deadpool" — leading to Wade's Meaningful Rename when he broke out of the program. As Deadpool, he resumed his mercenary life, initially as a Punch-Clock Villain before finding satisfaction in saving lives... sometimes, but mostly taking them.
NOTE: No, you're not seeing things. There are too many hilarious Deadpool lines to choose from so we just doubled the lines sooo yeah, 6 lines instead of 3. Oh and this probably goes without saying but if you have full freedom to adlib because as I said in the title, it's fucking Deadpool! Have fun, Deadpool nuts!
Line 1: AAAAAAAAGHHH!! Packing chips! That's the greatest weapon on the face of the planet -- styrofoam packing chips! Just imagine getting nailed by some of these babies! Oh the humanity!
Line 2: In the immortal words of Clark Whatsisname -- up, up and away!
Line 3: Didn't anyone tell you? I'm a riddle, dude. I eat the uncertainty principle for breakfast -- I was born the original loose cannon -- and I am one unpredictable feather-pluckin' walrus! Koo-koo-ka-freakin'-Choo!
Line 4: Hey if you looked like Ryan Reynolds crossed with a shar-pei, you'd understand!
Line 5: Sh-shot through the heart... AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! Awww, you give love -- a bad name! Daww dawww dada dada dawww dawwww.
Line 6: You know what? &@#$ tacos. And waiting. Damn you, Bullseye...damn you for making me hurt the ones I love. This time, it's personal. This time...it's for the tacos.
Voice Actor
Born in the present day, Nathan was infected with a deadly techno-organic virus while still an infant. He was sent into a possible future timeline where he could be treated and live his life. In this future world, Nathan grew into the warrior Cable and became an enemy of the villain Apocalypse. He later returned to the present-day era, initially arriving some years before his birth. Since making his home in the modern era, he has worked alongside the X-Men (including Cyclops and Jean Grey) and reformed the New Mutants group into the original X-Force. He had frequent battles against the near-invincible assassin Deadpool, who later became an on-again, off-again ally for years.
Face facts, old man. They're a well-financed, highly sophisticated army. Swallow your pride and get some help... 'cause right now, timing's everything... and you can't bring them down alone.
I haven't made any difference whatsoever! But that's all going to change... it's time for me to stop being the prey -- and for the hunt to begin!
There's a difference between walking a road and rolling a tank over it! I am trying to teach these kids to be willing to use their powers to fight for what's right -- not just think that because of their powers they have the right to fight! It's something would-be demagogues like you never seem to be able to figure out!
Voice Actor
The woman who would become known as Domino is the result of a top-secret government breeding program intended to develop the perfect weapon. Domino was the only test subject to survive, but her "luck" power was deemed a failure at meeting the project's goals. Her biological mother broke her out of the project and left her with Father Rudolpho Boschelli in the Church of the Sacred Heart in Chicago. Domino eventually left the Church and became a mercenary. One of her first jobs was to stop "Operation: Jericho" which was a remote-controlled warbot project. Domino wrecked the robot, but in the process fried the mind of the soldier controlling it. She was then assigned to guard the hard-working and innovative Dr. Milo Thurman, whose analytical ability made him too dangerous for the government to let him roam free. Somehow, Domino and Thurman fell in love and were married. Due to Thurman's love of Dante's Inferno, he called Domino "Beatrice". The two separated after a raid on the facility by AIM members, with Milo believing Domino had been killed during the altercation.
I've been asked countless times how my powers work. And the best way I can try to explain it is that life is just charted by impacts and trajectories. A new impact leads to a new trajectory and then another and another. And I, well, I just dance between the impacts.
Talking to Deadpool is like... I dunno... it's like talking to someone who's being attacked by bees.
Wait, don't kill him!! We need to insult him first!
Voice Actor
Death is an abstract entity, the embodiment of life ending in the Marvel Universe, and the opposite of Eternity, the embodiment of the universe. Death is predominantly depicted as a skeleton cloaked in a black or purple robe, and at times appears as a Caucasian human female.
I shall bring you--peace! As I have brought so many others before you--Thus has it ever been-- Thus must it ever be!
Oh, in case we have met before and I have forgotten the occasion -- my name is Death. I meet so many people, of course, that it is quite impossible to remember all their names.
What's the matter? Don't you trust me?
Voice Actor
Nijo was an assassin, mercenary, and agent employed by the telepathic German assassin called the Black Swan. He blamed Deadpool for his brother's death, as he was among the targets of Deadpool's apparently-successful assassination of the Japanese crime lords named the Four Winds. After Black Swan downloaded a mental virus into Deadpool's brain, Deadpool came for both Swan and Nijo at the Swan's castle in Germany. However, Black Swan revealed he had killed the Four Winds, including Nijo's brother, and stabbed him out of boredom with his ranting and disobedience. His vendetta with Deadpool was that the hits had erroneously been credited to the wrong man. Nijo soon reemerged as Alex Hayden in New York with one goal in mind - to be the best mercenary alive.
Hey! Hey! Don't you get naked and run away from me!
Okay, one question first. This fight we're about to have -- is it because you're still hung up on Sandi, because you hate my guts, or because you're a major dillweed ripe for plucking?
Voice Actor
A cowgirl-styled mercenary and a close ally of Deadpool and Agent X (Alex Hayden). Her mutant powers are superhuman strength, stamina, and durability, and she is talented with marksmanship and combat. In Deadpool's marriage special, Outlaw marries him and repeatedly shatters his pelvis throughout their honeymoon.
Since when did the X-Men need help from giant robots?
Listen. I ain't carryin' that crate all the way back to Bergen without knowing what's inside.
Voice Actor
Do you know why I took the name Patient Zero? Because I was infected... not by a disease but by "men." Peter Parker and Wade Wilson. A life tainted by fools. Everything that's happened... And will happen, was bought and paid for long ago.
Wade, I'd go with you... but I don't want to.
Voice Actor
Introduced as a telepathic precog native of the mutant nation Genosha under Emma Frost's tutelage, Negasonic was more or less created just to die for plot reasons — she foresaw a Sentinel attack on Genosha that would ultimately kill millions of people, herself included. She later showed up, apparently alive, as part of a new Hellfire Club, but this was later revealed to be a projected image of herself by Emma. While she was ultimately revived for real during the Necrosha event, she'd ultimately meet her demise yet again...until the Marvel NOW! era, when she was —once again— seen alive under unknown circumstances, now considered a member of Deadpool's Mercs for Money and displaying an expanded skillset than previously established. While merely a telepath with precognitive abilities before, she somehow gained the power to warp reality, travel through time, and manipulate particle energy.
Yo, Dweebpool... sounds like being dead would make you happy. And, you know... I can't let you be happy.
Which benefits? The matching unitards? The house that blows up every few years?
Voice Actor
High School practical joker Steve Harmon was transformed into a being of living electroplasm during a trip to a different dimension in the Multiverse, referred to as Dimension Ecch.
Ooh, shiny. "Ready to transmit brain patterns to new host body". Hmm...now that would be funny. Why don't we just save that for later?
Who's gonna tell Deadpool? Let me go on the record as saying: Not it. But somebody better volunteer... before he drags us off on another ill-planned escapade.
Stop... Hammer Time!
Voice Actor
Shiklah is an ancient royal succubus who was supposed to fulfill an arranged marriage to Dracula to unite vampires with other monsters. Dracula hired Deadpool to bring Shiklah to him; but instead, Shiklah and Deadpool hooked up and got married. Their marriage quickly became estranged.
What is this nonsense? Deadpool! This was so sweet of you. A blood sacrifice on Valentine's Day for your beloved!
Citizens of the Monster Metropolis -- arise! I'm annexing this city for the safety and security of my people. To my subjects around the globe that are listening, I summon you to the defense of our new capital on Earth. Humans have until dawn to abandon the island. Onward to war -- and to victory!
I don't mind you ruining your own happiness -- but leave mine alone.
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